Help Finally got my N. I was planning to use it... yesterday

[J.E. Morrow]

I got my N on thursday, I planned to use it on saturday night so my family could find me on sunday in the morning, but I couldn't.

I feel ashamed of myself. Today I woke up felling the most miserable person on earth.

I really want to leave this world and I know I have to do this but it's so hard for me, even if it's only matter of dringking N.

Anyway this is the first time I post something in SS, it feels just so nice reading you guys.

 

[Deleted member 4993]

It's good that you have got your N :-) look on the bright side. Your able to sit back and choose your own time whenever your ready.
Possession of N Etc brings a peace with it I believe.

 

[TheRiverStyz]

It's okay, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. And if you do want to, now you have what you need within reach. There's no shame in wanting to live just as much as there's no shame in wanting to die. Hugs.

 

[J.E. Morrow]

It's good that you have got your N :-) look on the bright side. Your able to sit back and choose your own time whenever your ready.
Possession of N Etc brings a peace with it I believe.

I think you´re right. It´s good to know that I'll be able to use it when the time comes.

Thanks!

 

[J.E. Morrow]

It's okay, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. And if you do want to, now you have what you need within reach. There's no shame in wanting to live just as much as there's no shame in wanting to die. Hugs.

Your words are so kind and helpful,

Hugs.

 

[Chinaski]

I got my N on thursday, I planned to use it on saturday night so my family could find me on sunday in the morning, but I couldn't.

I feel ashamed of myself. Today I woke up felling the most miserable person on earth.

I really want to leave this world and I know I have to do this but it's so hard for me, even if it's only matter of dringking N.

Anyway this is the first time I post something in SS, it feels just so nice reading you guys.

I'm presuming you got it from A?

Getting access to a method of choice does not mean one has to use it instantly, N takes as much courage as any other method and l expect for some people the knowledge that they have immediate access to such a method provides a release valve which can ease a lot of pressure.

 

[Deleted member 4993]

Bless ya, let things take their course and relax.

 

[Mylifeispointless]

Oh! Ienvy you got the precious N. Don't forget to research N method first. Like taking antiemetics or something. You can look for resources here on this lovely site.

I can relate on how you feel right now. Don't be ashamed alot of us here have failed many times. You don't need to force yourself to do it.

If you want give life another chance do it!. You owe it to yourself.

Do something you love without hurting others. Do everything in your strength to fight for your life to live.
Everyone here have different reasons. We don't judge and there is no need to rush things.

Btw Is your profile pic from the movie Gattaca?? I love that movie!

 

[J.E. Morrow]

I'm presuming you got it from A?

Getting access to a method of choice does not mean one has to use it instantly, N takes as much courage as any other method and l expect for some people the knowledge that they have immediate access to such a method provides a release valve which can ease a lot of pressure.

You're so right, I thought I'd feel relief knowing I could ctb anytime, but now actually I feel so much pressure and anxiousness.

 

[Chinaski]

I live in Mexico so I could bought it OTC after some research in diferent vets. It's not that easy (as PPH says) but it's not impossible.

I'd turn your pms off right about now if l were you. You're due the first of many "get me n, I'll pay" messages in 5...4...3...

 

[21Neberg]

Hey @J.E. Morrow , welcome to the site!

You shouldn't feel ashamed at all. No one on this planet has succeeded in suicide on their first attempt, and even if you didn't attempt, it is incredibly hard to undertake the steps to end your life, no matter how hard you want to end it. Lets look at the brightside - you've got your way out, now you need to find the time to take it. Don't rush it, and feel free to ask the forum any questions you might have.

 

[J.E. Morrow]

Oh! Ienvy you got the precious N. Don't forget to research N method first. Like taking antiemetics or something. You can look for resources here on this lovely site.

I can relate on how you feel right now. Don't be ashamed alot of us here have failed many times. You don't need to force yourself to do it.

If you want give life another chance do it!. You owe it to yourself.

Do something you love without hurting others. Do everything in your strength to fight for your life to live.
Everyone here have different reasons. We don't judge and there is no need to rush things.

Btw Is your profile pic from the movie Gattaca?? I love that movie!

Thanks, I already did some research on this method.

I think I will try my best, give life another chance, as you said.


I'm so glad to know someone who knows that movie, it's my favorite. An IN-VALID: that's the way I feel.

 

[J.E. Morrow]

Hey @J.E. Morrow , welcome to the site!

You shouldn't feel ashamed at all. No one on this planet has succeeded in suicide on their first attempt, and even if you didn't attempt, it is incredibly hard to undertake the steps to end your life, no matter how hard you want to end it. Lets look at the brightside - you've got your way out, now you need to find the time to take it. Don't rush it, and feel free to ask the forum any questions you might have.

Thanks, it's so nice to be able to talk about it with someone.

 

[iHeartRockArt]

I'd turn your pms off right about now if l were you. You're due the first of many "get me n, I'll pay" messages in 5...4...3...

Oh gosh, yes...I'm going to have to agree. And don't get sucked into that craziness.

 

[johnny]

Did you take the anti E and then just not open the bottles?

 

[that_guy2611]

Hey bro, Dumb idiot who's been sitting on his N for over a year now checking in.
Don't feel any pressure to use it right away.
all the best !

 

[J.E. Morrow]

Oh gosh, yes...I'm going to have to agree. And don't get sucked into that craziness.

I already edited it, but it still remains. Help!

 

[J.E. Morrow]

Did you take the anti E and then just not open the bottles?

That's exactly what I did.

I'm a hopeless case.

 

[Mylifeispointless]

I'm so glad to know someone who knows that movie, it's my favorite. An IN-VALID: that's the way I feel.

Yep I felt that too. Like i was born as an IN-VALID piece of shit. Sometimes when I'm watching a movie i really immersed myself into it and from a moment I'll forget that i have lots of problem in real life.

Thank you for taking my advice about giving life a chance. This lovely site is here for you. We, the SS community support each other because happy people won't understand the way we feel. I fucking love this site! :)

 

[J.E. Morrow]

Hey bro, Dumb idiot who's been sitting on his N for over a year now checking in.
Don't feel any pressure to use it right away.
all the best !

Thanks, I know I have to use it this year but I don't know exactly when. I was thinking ctb the night before my birthday.

 

[angie]

You're so right, I thought I'd feel relief knowing I could ctb anytime, but now actually I feel so much pressure and anxiousness.

Dont beat yourself up about it , im in exactly same got boat the stuff to do it but cant pluck up the courage now .
It is advisable to take anti emetics prior to taking it remember .
good luck with it but do it when you are ready no rush you got what you need .

 

[angie]

Yep I felt that too. Like i was born as an IN-VALID piece of shit. Sometimes when I'm watching a movie i really immersed myself into it and from a moment I'll forget that i have lots of problem in real life.

Thank you for taking my advice about giving life a chance. This lovely site is here for you. We, the SS community support each other because happy people won't understand the way we feel. I fucking love this site! :)

That's exactly what I did.

I'm a hopeless case.

I typod i meant we are in the same boat . got the stuff but its not easy to do the deed .hopefully we will have the courage when we feel need to .good luck.

 

[J.E. Morrow]

Dont beat yourself up about it , im in exactly same got boat the stuff to do it but cant pluck up the courage now .
It is advisable to take anti emetics prior to taking it remember .
good luck with it but do it when you are ready no rush you got what you need .

Thanks, what method did you choose? May I ask

 

[angie]

Thanks, what method did you choose? May I ask

Thanks, what method did you choose? May I ask

Same method as you . did you get anti emetics too .

 

[angie]

Thanks, what method did you choose? May I ask

Did you get 200mls ?

 

[J.E. Morrow]

Did you get 200mls ?

Yes, I don't rely taking only 100 ml haha.

 

[creationisdeath]

I'm presuming you got it from A?

Getting access to a method of choice does not mean one has to use it instantly, N takes as much courage as any other method and l expect for some people the knowledge that they have immediate access to such a method provides a release valve which can ease a lot of pressure.

I fully agree. That effect is not to be underestimated. When I first found out about N/A a few years ago I was thrilled to know that a peaceful slumber is within arms reach. It makes a big difference just to know you can. Then things stopped being so easy though, prices went up, reliability, reports of how it tastes so bad it could be a challenge to get the antiemetics regiment right etc.

After reading that book someone posted I'm trying to get this "mood" back with the hypothermia method which seems affordable and peaceful.

I'm glad you got your N! Please make sure you know all about the antiemetics and maybe test a little bit before since you have more than required.

 

[J.E. Morrow]

I fully agree. That effect is not to be underestimated. When I first found out about N/A a few years ago I was thrilled to know that a peaceful slumber is within arms reach. It makes a big difference just to know you can. Then things stopped being so easy though, prices went up, reliability, reports of how it tastes so bad it could be a challenge to get the antiemetics regiment right etc.

After reading that book someone posted I'm trying to get this "mood" back with the hypothermia method which seems affordable and peaceful.

I'm glad you got your N! Please make sure you know all about the antiemetics and maybe test a little bit before since you have more than required.

Thanks, do you have any advise about antiemetics? I thought it was only matter of taking 30mg 1 hour before N, now I'm not sure haha.

 

[2 be or not]

I got my N on thursday, I planned to use it on saturday night so my family could find me on sunday in the morning, but I couldn't.

I feel ashamed of myself. Today I woke up felling the most miserable person on earth.

I really want to leave this world and I know I have to do this but it's so hard for me, even if it's only matter of dringking N.

Anyway this is the first time I post something in SS, it feels just so nice reading you guys.

As others have said, there's no shame in not following through with your initial plan to exit from this world forever. That's a big commitment that can't be reversed. You can rest knowing you don't have to die an ugly death but a peaceful one, at a time or event of your choice.

I personally am not a date setter. I prefer to live as best as I can but in the event I get too tired, I'll have my potion at hand.

Peace :)

 

[J.E. Morrow]

As others have said, there's no shame in not following through with your initial plan to exit from this world forever. That's a big commitment that can't be reversed. You can rest knowing you don't have to die an ugly death but a peaceful one, at a time or event of your choice.

I personally am not a date setter. I prefer to live as best as I can but in the event I get too tired, I'll have my potion at hand.

Peace :)

I'll follow your example, setting a date brings too much stress.