Here I am. Catching up on some television shows. Eating my favorite foods. Finishing touches of my final letter. Spending time with my dog. Sleeping. Lots of sleeping. I"ve got three more deliveries and then I can build my GULPS. Hoping I don't fuck that up like I do everything else in my life. I did see a cute puppy in our local classified ads. Thought about adopting, but wouldn't be fair.
Now, I'm debating on cleaning my apartment so other's dont have to. I did pick up a little, but not a lot. Right now, I'm just not even in the mood to do anything, and then the guilt comes to mind about whoever will be clearing out my stuff, which will most likely be family. But then I don't care because I wont be here. I do care abouy what my mom will think, or how hurt she will be. So then I start getting mad at myself for being so dumb. But then I keep thinking about how this is what I have been wanting for years, and now that everything has finally crumbled around me, it seems like the most opportune time.
Friday night I plan on driving up a local canyon and park in a lightly wooded area where I can stare at the cosmos in the dark, eat the rest of my gummies and get high as fuck, listen to Erasure. Come dawn I'll mix everything together and begin the process. I just hope my weed wont fuck up the CO.
Now, I'm debating on cleaning my apartment so other's dont have to. I did pick up a little, but not a lot. Right now, I'm just not even in the mood to do anything, and then the guilt comes to mind about whoever will be clearing out my stuff, which will most likely be family. But then I don't care because I wont be here. I do care abouy what my mom will think, or how hurt she will be. So then I start getting mad at myself for being so dumb. But then I keep thinking about how this is what I have been wanting for years, and now that everything has finally crumbled around me, it seems like the most opportune time.
Friday night I plan on driving up a local canyon and park in a lightly wooded area where I can stare at the cosmos in the dark, eat the rest of my gummies and get high as fuck, listen to Erasure. Come dawn I'll mix everything together and begin the process. I just hope my weed wont fuck up the CO.
