figuring out timing

[bitofftoomuch]

i'm supposed to return to my job 10/23 which makes me want to CTB on that exact date so that I don't have to go back. problem is I love Halloween. I want one last Halloween. I hate Thanksgiving and Christmas as they are all about the nuclear family and mine was shit to me. But Halloween is the one day you get to be whoever you want.

So I could just blow off my job and joyride through Halloween -- I've even got a small trip planned the weekend after. I could just convert into a big trip. But I worry the anxieties and thrills would fuck up my state of mind and maybe cause me to chicken out or subtract from me enjoying my last days.

Idk where I'm going with this I just feel confused about picking a date and wanted to type it out. 11/15 or so would probably work if I can get over the emotional angles I alluded to. hell maybe doing it on Thanksgiving would send a satisfying final fuck you message to my shitbag family. on the flipside, maybe it's just easier to nip this in the bud and CTB in a couple of weeks.

 

[LunarLight]

If you plan to CTB afterwards, quitting your job sounds like a good idea.

 

[bitofftoomuch]

If you plan to CTB afterwards, quitting your job sounds like a good idea.

well yes but my point is if I CTB before having to decide that I can avoid all the anxiety and possible mood shifts that could fuck up my plan. I'm in the right headspace to calmly go through with it and it's so easy to slip out of that.