onewayroad
“Dying is not a crime.” ― Jack Kevorkian
- Oct 4, 2018
- 358
I made a promise to myself that I would try every treatment to stop this suffering. That suicide would only be my last resort.
If I was not suffering I would want to live, and if there is a chance that in the future I could find a way to stop my suffering then in the future I might want to live. And by killing myself now, I would be killing that future person who wants to live and it would be murder. And it would be wrong.
So I must try everything before I can die.
But it is hard. So incredibly hard. I feel like my mind is being torn apart by the pain. I want this to end so badly. I would give anything to end this hell and one thing I can give to surely end it is my life. And so every breath I wish was my last.
I don't know if I can keep my promise. I don't know if I have the strength to endure this for an indeterminate amount of time. I don't know how much longer I can persist.
If I was not suffering I would want to live, and if there is a chance that in the future I could find a way to stop my suffering then in the future I might want to live. And by killing myself now, I would be killing that future person who wants to live and it would be murder. And it would be wrong.
So I must try everything before I can die.
But it is hard. So incredibly hard. I feel like my mind is being torn apart by the pain. I want this to end so badly. I would give anything to end this hell and one thing I can give to surely end it is my life. And so every breath I wish was my last.
I don't know if I can keep my promise. I don't know if I have the strength to endure this for an indeterminate amount of time. I don't know how much longer I can persist.
