Fentanyl

[Pi_R_Squared]

How can I pass out and then hallucinate? Idk if hallucinate is the right word or if they were all false memories my brain made up.
My brain essentially was making up a bunch of scenarios when I was in the hospital.
A few of these scenarios are:
1.) I thought I was trapped in a family friends basement
2.) There was an evil nurse named Susan that was extremely mean to me + other staff (this nurse does not exist. I texted my dad about her while I was in the hospital and then asked him about her when I got out... he brought up that text but mentioned that there was no nurse Susan. I even hallucinated a situation when my dad came to visit me in the hospital & she was there)
3.) I hallucinated an old friend being a patient at the hospital that died a few years ago
4.) I hallucinated a group of friends that I've never met in real life
5.) Thought I was on a casino trip with my old school (I also remember a nurse asking me why I was at that hotel and me telling her this & her giving me a funny look)
... and a few other situations that I'm not really remembering right now, but honestly its horrifying the amount of shit the human mind will make up during traumatic periods.
And yes, I'm extremely pissed. Considering I checked in at around 8PM and they found me the next day, should have given me enough time to die, but apparently not.
And NO. It's not better because with N you have a higher likelihood of it working and dying.

Did they narcan you? I imagine withdrawal from fentanyl by narcan caused a horrid feeling and the hallucinations were a result of the withdrawals.

 

[whenlavaflows]

Did they narcan you? I imagine withdrawal from fentanyl by narcan caused a horrid feeling and the hallucinations were a result of the withdrawals.

I'm pretty sure I was Narcanned. Not 100% sure, but I'd assume so, since I'm alive.

 

[Pi_R_Squared]

I'm pretty sure I was Narcanned. Not 100% sure, but I'd assume so, since I'm alive.

I've read a lot on /r/opiates and apparently Narcan causes horrid instant withdrawals, that, combined with being zonked on xanax and possibly anything else they gave you might have given you the hallucinations. I'd guess so anyway.

 

[whenlavaflows]

I've read a lot on /r/opiates and apparently Narcan causes horrid instant withdrawals, that, combined with being zonked on xanax and possibly anything else they gave you might have given you the hallucinations. I'd guess so anyway.

Ahh, Gotchya. Makes sense.
The worst part about all of this is that while I was in the hospital I caught an MERSA infection on my ass. I had two gaping wounds on my butt for a while. So now, I have deep scarring on my butt. It's horrifying to look at. Like, no one is going to want to be with me/date me after seeing them.. I've ruined any prospects of having a normal, healthy sex life in the future.
It's like, this entire experience fucked me up so much that my next try at CTB HAS to work.
Thankfully, I've found a source for SN & just placed an order. So hopefully, I'll put an end to all of this soon. Just need to find an anti emetic & antacid.