Rounded Apathy

Rounded Apathy

Longing to return to stardust
Aug 8, 2022
772
I find that beyond the flare ups themselves, my mind can get really stuck on the condition itself and I get into this state where I can't get absorbed in basically anything that isn't nurturing in-person human interaction (which I no longer have in my life). My psyche just feels impenetrable to things like food, music, movies, games, or whatever else might normally provide some level of distraction.

Does anyone have a similar, or different experience, and ideally anything that works for them, be it a technique or even just a thing? I would love to not be cast irretrievably into a pit of mental darkness every time I even think I'm on the verge of something coming up in addition to the realities of when it does happen. Thank you :heart:
 
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makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,032
I'm partial to THC gummies, they make the days brighter, and relieve physical pain.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you šŸ•Æļø Right now, I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,901
CBD helps with the pain, music for general distraction
 
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P

przeciwwymiotne

Be rude to me at all times, I don't deserve kindne
Jun 27, 2022
343
I find that beyond the flare ups themselves, my mind can get really stuck on the condition itself and I get into this state where I can't get absorbed in basically anything that isn't nurturing in-person human interaction (which I no longer have in my life). My psyche just feels impenetrable to things like food, music, movies, games, or whatever else might normally provide some level of distraction.

Does anyone have a similar, or different experience, and ideally anything that works for them, be it a technique or even just a thing? I would love to not be cast irretrievably into a pit of mental darkness every time I even think I'm on the verge of something coming up in addition to the realities of when it does happen. Thank you :heart:
Atm it's binge eating and browsing SaSu. I hope to learn so better coping strategies. My spine is injured and it restricts my mobility. Hurts af.
 
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Rounded Apathy

Rounded Apathy

Longing to return to stardust
Aug 8, 2022
772
I'm partial to THC gummies, they make the days brighter, and relieve physical pain.
CBD helps with the pain, music for general distraction
I really wish someone I used to consider one of my closest friends hadn't fucked me over by causing me to have an awful cannabis trip, because otherwise I might be able to enjoy these. I tried the CBD oil route a while after rationalizing with myself, but the results were really inconsistent and half the time I used it, I would just get anxious as balls from association despite knowing full well it's not psychedelic...ugh. Glad these work for you both.

Atm it's binge eating and browsing SaSu. I hope to learn so better coping strategies. My spine is injured and it restricts my mobility. Hurts af.
Spending time here is something I do more and more seemingly; I guess that means it does something? haha. Sadly my issues make it so eating even how much I need to keep me from losing what little weight I have is a challenge! :angry:
 
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CatLover

CatLover

Member
Jun 3, 2018
73
CBD doesn't work for me, either. It doesn't do anything bad, but not much good either. Perhaps I just haven't tried high enough dosage. Meditation is something that takes me to a dark place too, best avoided (for me at least). It's very difficult I think because the more you TRY to get into something to forget the pain, the harder it is. I play stupid mobile games, sometimes they work. I've got into a few of those like Idle Inn Tycoon, Hogwart's Academy, June's Journey and Candy Crush types. A really good PC or console game will do it - the last was Assassin's Creed Asgard, but I'm disappointed by games more often than not. Hot baths really help but I can't sit in a hot bath all day lol... I love gardening but it doesn't help at all as it really hurts. Sounds sad but shopping, if I'm able to go round the charity shops I can get distracted by 'the hunt' of looking for a bargain but have to be well enough to get out in the first place. I find it hard to concentrate on reading but can manage magazines - my guilty pleasure is the Take a Break 'my husband slept with my sister AND my dog!' type. I guess it never hurts to see stories about people whose lives are worse than yours. Ooh, I love true crime documentaries. A really good one or even better a series will get me thinking about the mystery and forget the aches and pains. I recently started an art class about sketchbooking. I'm interested to see how 'art' goes as something to distract. I do hope you can find something to help you feel a little better x
 
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L

lionetta12

Just a random person
Aug 5, 2022
1,197
The thought of dying some day.
 
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Susannah

Susannah

Mage
Jul 2, 2018
530
Diversion works to a certain extent. Music, going for a walk in the forest and feeling nature, various forms of qi gong/tai chi, watching series etc.

The hardest step is acceptance.
Acceptance of the situation and how it affects me has been a long process, but I have received help at a pain clinic. I went there for 2 years, and trained a lot at home. We did several meditation and breathing exercises. And the most difficult one was to feel the pain and emotions, accept them, and "welcome them". It probably sounds silly, but by 'welcoming pain' it is easier to 'let it go'. Instead of suppressing and diverting, you have to accept, and feel bad things. At least I got a better feeling of control over my own life.
Lots of loveS
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,586
Not know, before damage injur different can do now differ what distract try do same feel slowly truth nothing distract pain all time now add new pain
 
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CatLover

CatLover

Member
Jun 3, 2018
73
Yes if you can get a place on a 'pain management' course, it's worth doing despite the fact that that is a kind of ridiculous concept... I refused the first time as I thought 'I don't want to learn how to MANAGE it, I want to STOP it' but sadly it's become clear that's not an option for the forseeable future. It IS useful, you'll come away with a big folder or 'toolkit' of different things you can try, at least a few of which will hopefully be useful for you. In the UK you ask your GP to refer you, not sure how it works in other countries. If you're lucky you'll also meet some local people who 'get it' who can become a kind of support group (unfortunately mine was during covid so this didn't really happen).
 
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sewercide

sewercide

drowning in the sewer
Aug 13, 2022
83
Only Sleeping and dreaming. Every second due to chronic pain I want to die.
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
You get sort of used to it. Finding any sort of cure or prevention brings your pain threshold down quite a lot. It depends on the type of pain too, I can't bear some types of sharp or heat pain, I need to find relief for sharp pain asap.
 
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CatLover

CatLover

Member
Jun 3, 2018
73
To people who say sleeping - I can't even escape it in my sleep. I notice a lot my dreams 'adapt' to my pain, for example in one I was a hunchback and in another I was living underground in a cave system I had to stoop to access, because I have constant back pain, so the dream was trying to 'explain' that. I also find my dreams have got a lot less interesting since my bladder basically disintegrated, half the time now I am on a great holy exciting adventure to find a working toilet or something similar. Not knocking it if it works for you, but for me sleeping is no real escape, sadly. Plus apparently I can sleep 'wrong' and wake up feeling WORSE, not sure how anyone can explain that one.
 
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gomenasai

gomenasai

Student
Sep 30, 2022
168
I'm in bed all day due to my chronic pain and other neurological issues. just rotting away
 
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Rounded Apathy

Rounded Apathy

Longing to return to stardust
Aug 8, 2022
772
Dang. These seem to have slipped away from me.

CBD doesn't work for me, either. It doesn't do anything bad, but not much good either. Perhaps I just haven't tried high enough dosage. Meditation is something that takes me to a dark place too, best avoided (for me at least). It's very difficult I think because the more you TRY to get into something to forget the pain, the harder it is. I play stupid mobile games, sometimes they work. I've got into a few of those like Idle Inn Tycoon, Hogwart's Academy, June's Journey and Candy Crush types. A really good PC or console game will do it - the last was Assassin's Creed Asgard, but I'm disappointed by games more often than not. Hot baths really help but I can't sit in a hot bath all day lol... I love gardening but it doesn't help at all as it really hurts. Sounds sad but shopping, if I'm able to go round the charity shops I can get distracted by 'the hunt' of looking for a bargain but have to be well enough to get out in the first place. I find it hard to concentrate on reading but can manage magazines - my guilty pleasure is the Take a Break 'my husband slept with my sister AND my dog!' type. I guess it never hurts to see stories about people whose lives are worse than yours. Ooh, I love true crime documentaries. A really good one or even better a series will get me thinking about the mystery and forget the aches and pains. I recently started an art class about sketchbooking. I'm interested to see how 'art' goes as something to distract. I do hope you can find something to help you feel a little better x
Thank you. Yes, I feel like getting into that "flow state" by whatever means - bargain hunting (also enjoy), certain games (Tetris anyone?), etc. can be good for that. Meditation...I used to do it, but there reached a point where I would sooner or later (usually sooner) just come up against that insurmountable wall of the sense/feeling of death/dying. I abhor how many Asian traditions of meditation have just been completely stripped of several essential elements that are imperative to their (imo) successful implementation, two of which are the communal aspect and what is often called in English "work meditation" - maintaining mindfulness while carrying out essential shared tasks like cooking, cleaning, etc. As usual we just got handed this thing we're supposed to do ourselves in solitude, on our own time, to "fix" all our problems and make us happy shiny productive members of society again. Revolting.

Diversion works to a certain extent. Music, going for a walk in the forest and feeling nature, various forms of qi gong/tai chi, watching series etc.

The hardest step is acceptance.
Acceptance of the situation and how it affects me has been a long process, but I have received help at a pain clinic. I went there for 2 years, and trained a lot at home. We did several meditation and breathing exercises. And the most difficult one was to feel the pain and emotions, accept them, and "welcome them". It probably sounds silly, but by 'welcoming pain' it is easier to 'let it go'. Instead of suppressing and diverting, you have to accept, and feel bad things. At least I got a better feeling of control over my own life.
Lots of loveS
Yes if you can get a place on a 'pain management' course, it's worth doing despite the fact that that is a kind of ridiculous concept... I refused the first time as I thought 'I don't want to learn how to MANAGE it, I want to STOP it' but sadly it's become clear that's not an option for the forseeable future. It IS useful, you'll come away with a big folder or 'toolkit' of different things you can try, at least a few of which will hopefully be useful for you. In the UK you ask your GP to refer you, not sure how it works in other countries. If you're lucky you'll also meet some local people who 'get it' who can become a kind of support group (unfortunately mine was during covid so this didn't really happen).
These are some of the things that tie into the broader scope of true meditative practices I think, and are interesting. There certainly is a liberating element when you either manage or are simply forced to accept your situation for what it is...though as humans we're both a bit naturally bad at and, I believe, geared to reject that (at least initially). If we just sat fine with any adversity that came our way we wouldn't have made it past a few generations; "I'm hungry? Oh that's too bad. Guess I'll starve!". Striking the balance between accepting shit as it is and doing as much as you can to mitigate it while also not becoming so invested in succeeding that you get further distressed or disappointed is possibly one of the hardest undertakings I know of. Way harder than simply living with whatever miserable affliction(s) one has the misfortune to have had befall them.
 
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earshurt

Member
Oct 11, 2022
58
Chronic pain sufferer here. I wish I knew the answer. CBD and weed only give me terrifying panic attacks, so it's not like that's an option. I feel like I'm being gaslit when people say it helps their anxiety, but whatever floats THEIR boats I guess...
 
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WhiteRabbit

WhiteRabbit

I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
Feb 12, 2019
1,452
Chronic pain sufferer here. I wish I knew the answer. CBD and weed only give me terrifying panic attacks, so it's not like that's an option. I feel like I'm being gaslit when people say it helps their anxiety, but whatever floats THEIR boats I guess...
Weed makes me hyper focused on my pain.
 
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CatLover

CatLover

Member
Jun 3, 2018
73
I think when CBD was legalized here a while back people started claiming it was some kind of miracle cure for absolutely everything, that seems to have calmed down a bit now and people accept that there's only certain things (epilepsy seems to be a big one) that it genuinely helps with, and of course a whole host of people who find it doesn't help them.
 
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Lily (Osako)

Lily (Osako)

Everything all at once
Jul 30, 2022
381
I hate to admit it, but drugs and alcohol help me. I'm not a daily user, but when things get too painful, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional, the drugs and alcohol provide a wonderful escape.
Maybe I'm weak, but I don't think there's anything wrong with numbing yourself when the pain becomes unbearable.
I also don't think there's anything wrong with doing it even if you aren't hurting, I just don't.
 
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Rounded Apathy

Rounded Apathy

Longing to return to stardust
Aug 8, 2022
772
I hate to admit it, but drugs and alcohol help me. I'm not a daily user, but when things get too painful, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional, the drugs and alcohol provide a wonderful escape.
Maybe I'm weak, but I don't think there's anything wrong with numbing yourself when the pain becomes unbearable.
I also don't think there's anything wrong with doing it even if you aren't hurting, I just don't.

A drug is a drug - be it a plant product, a fermented/distilled beverage, or something that comes from a pharmacy. Different cultures just ascribe different traits and associations to things. Some are more addictive and some less; to me the problem is when things to from use to misuse, regardless of the drug. Sure people are addicted to alcohol or hard street drugs, just like people are addicted to painkillers or whatever else their incompetent doctor may have over-prescribed without usage supervision. Some of these things are straight up biologically addictive, but as you say, some just help you feel better! I wish my physiology allowed me to drink more...and that it wasn't so bloody expensive here.

Chronic pain sufferer here. I wish I knew the answer. CBD and weed only give me terrifying panic attacks, so it's not like that's an option. I feel like I'm being gaslit when people say it helps their anxiety, but whatever floats THEIR boats I guess...
Weed makes me hyper focused on my pain.

Sorry these things don't work for either of you same as myself - not to police, but given I put this in recovery and all, I would prefer this thread stays on track for what does work for you. If you know something brought up here doesn't, I don't see the purpose in just sharing that. Questions about how to possibly adapt it for it to help you are one thing, but I posted this in this section for a reason.
 
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Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,984
Celexa, benzos, fast food, ibuprofen, cigarettes, music, movies, games, sleeping, caffeine, dissociation, alcohol sometimes. I just try to overload on happy stuff to stay somewhat cheerful. But it doesn't always work.
 
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WhiteRabbit

WhiteRabbit

I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
Feb 12, 2019
1,452
Sorry these things don't work for either of you same as myself - not to police, but given I put this in recovery and all, I would prefer this thread stays on track for what does work for you. If you know something brought up here doesn't, I don't see the purpose in just sharing that. Questions about how to possibly adapt it for it to help you are one thing, but I posted this in this section for a reason.
Sorry, I just wrote that so the person I replied to wouldn't feel like they were the only person weed wasn't working for. I could feel the frustration in their post.
 
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theviewfromhalfway

Member
Jun 3, 2022
43
Honestly the only thing that's ever helped my pain is weed.
 
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freedompass

freedompass

Warlock
Jan 27, 2021
768
I abhor how many Asian traditions of meditation have just been completely stripped of several essential elements that are imperative to their (imo) successful implementation, two of which are the communal aspect and what is often called in English "work meditation" - maintaining mindfulness while carrying out essential shared tasks like cooking, cleaning, etc. As usual we just got handed this thing we're supposed to do ourselves in solitude, on our own time, to "fix" all our problems and make us happy shiny productive members of society again. Revolting.
I so agree with this. I hate it too! Like 'love yourself first' blah di blah, if you have a problem, sort it out in solitude. I am not at all convinced by sitting in meditation on your own, I did plenty of that when younger so when this whole fad for 'mindfulness' started it was like the whole CBT thingā€¦not shiny and happy? It's your thoughts, it's all about you and nothing to do with trauma, abuse and so on. Your own thoughts are the cause of your misery so here's a therapy that essentially blames the victim, gee thanks doc I'm cured!

These days fuck sitting in meditation, there's all types of meditation, walking, doing chores, everything can be done mindfully. So much hypocritical bs, just one more useless 'tool' in the armoury of a mental health system that is all about making you feel that you are the problem for not trying hard enough. Vent over.
Sorry these things don't work for either of you same as myself - not to police, but given I put this in recovery and all, I would prefer this thread stays on track for what does work for you. If you know something brought up here doesn't, I don't see the purpose in just sharing that. Questions about how to possibly adapt it for it to help you are one thing, but I posted this in this section for a reason.
Sorryā€¦I probably shouldn't post in this thread as I don't have chronic pain/physical illness, just mental. Should I remove my comment? Hopefully someone else can get the thread back on track šŸ˜³
 
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E

earshurt

Member
Oct 11, 2022
58
Sorry these things don't work for either of you same as myself - not to police, but given I put this in recovery and all, I would prefer this thread stays on track for what does work for you. If you know something brought up here doesn't, I don't see the purpose in just sharing that. Questions about how to possibly adapt it for it to help you are one thing, but I posted this in this section for a reason.

Apologies if my post came off as unconstructive, that was unintended. My point was that weed/CBD doesn't work for everyone and I'm a bit tired of seeing it proposed as a miracle cure-all for all ailments - especially when some folks experience severe side effects. In all seriousness, I'm happy for people for whom weed works to manage chronic pain and I agree they should have easy, legal access to the drug.

As for what does work for me. Ibuprofen, I guess? Sometimes cold or allergy medicine helps me too, but that's probably because my chronic pain issues are heavily linked to my severe ENT issues.
 
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