S
Spyro24
Member
- Jun 24, 2022
- 68
My best friend with BPD has blocked me once again for no reason at all and I'm heartbroken. People keep telling me she's toxic and I need to let her go but that's not how feelings work... I wish I didn't have feelings for her... I wish this person wasn't my entire world.
She is the reason I'm alive today but that doesn't excuse shit. Just because I have feelings I let her walk all over me and treat me like actual horse shit. The song I hate u, I love u comes to mind. I love her like I've never loved anyone else before but I hate her for putting me through this again. She might come back... but I have to live in pure agony until that happens.
I've done everything for her... I would die for her just because she means so much to me. I just don't get it... no one takes me seriously anymore because I let the same shit happen every single time. Maybe I am just stupid. I look for ways to blame myself for what happened and I don't even know why it happened in the first place. Thanks to her I can't go outside anymore because I'm afraid other people will do the same to me... I'm just scared to death of other people.
I still have her number... she has left me on read of course. I wish there was something I could say to get her back... there you go... another annoying vent post from me because I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
She is the reason I'm alive today but that doesn't excuse shit. Just because I have feelings I let her walk all over me and treat me like actual horse shit. The song I hate u, I love u comes to mind. I love her like I've never loved anyone else before but I hate her for putting me through this again. She might come back... but I have to live in pure agony until that happens.
I've done everything for her... I would die for her just because she means so much to me. I just don't get it... no one takes me seriously anymore because I let the same shit happen every single time. Maybe I am just stupid. I look for ways to blame myself for what happened and I don't even know why it happened in the first place. Thanks to her I can't go outside anymore because I'm afraid other people will do the same to me... I'm just scared to death of other people.
I still have her number... she has left me on read of course. I wish there was something I could say to get her back... there you go... another annoying vent post from me because I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.