Venting Feelings [Poem]

[KatzeK4]

I might die with all these scars.

With these signs of a life,

much despised.

Yet everything needs me to stay.

Without friends.

Without purpose.

I'm tired to infinity.

Each second, I'm falling

into a thousand-year sleep.

I am chained.

Looking desperately

for the key

to set me free.

Even in front of me,

I won't open the Lock.

I'll stay.

I'd take anything,

drugs that lessen the pain.

I'd say anything,

hoping for understanding.

I'd cry.

Cry 'til exhaustion brings sleep.

Leaving late as possible.

Before slumber,

little time for thought.

Still it hurts,

so incredibly painful.

My soul, trapped in my body,

screaming for release.

 

[TimeHasCome6]

1. This is a wonderful poem
2.I'm so sorry you feel this way. I hope you find peace.
3. If you need any help ask me.
4. I still love this poem, lol.

 

[KatzeK4]

1. This is a wonderful poem
2.I'm so sorry you feel this way. I hope you find peace.
3. If you need any help ask me.
4. I still love this poem, lol.

Thank you, kind stranger. I do not need any help, cute cat tho

 

[TimeHasCome6]

Thank you, kind stranger. I do not need any help, cute cat tho

Okay. Just making sure. No mean to be offensive I just wanted to make myself available! :) thanks about my cat. His name is Simba :)

 

[KatzeK4]

Okay. Just making sure. No mean to be offensive I just wanted to make myself available! :) thanks about my cat. His name is Simba :)

Not offensive at all! Thank you! ps. Simba is a suiting name lol

 

[Torch]

I am a writing nerd, here is my feedback:

Your poem uses powerful and evocative language to convey feelings of pain, exhaustion, and despair. The use of vivid imagery such as "thousand-year sleep," "chained," and "screaming for release" creates a strong emotional impact on the reader.

The poem employs several poetic devices such as repetition (e.g., "Without friends. Without purpose."), alliteration (e.g., "signs of a life much despised"), and metaphor (e.g., "My soul, trapped in my body"). These devices add depth and richness to the language and enhance the poem's overall impact.

The poem explores universal themes such as the search for meaning, the desire for freedom, and the struggle against pain and suffering. These themes are relatable to many readers, including me, and make the poem more accessible and impactful.

Amazing poem.

 

[KatzeK4]

I am a writing nerd, here is my feedback:

Your poem uses powerful and evocative language to convey feelings of pain, exhaustion, and despair. The use of vivid imagery such as "thousand-year sleep," "chained," and "screaming for release" creates a strong emotional impact on the reader.

The poem employs several poetic devices such as repetition (e.g., "Without friends. Without purpose."), alliteration (e.g., "signs of a life much despised"), and metaphor (e.g., "My soul, trapped in my body"). These devices add depth and richness to the language and enhance the poem's overall impact.

The poem explores universal themes such as the search for meaning, the desire for freedom, and the struggle against pain and suffering. These themes are relatable to many readers, including me, and make the poem more accessible and impactful.

Amazing poem.

Wow, thank you for your amazing feedback. i wrote this poem a while back, and im pretty proud of it for being my first ever written poem in english as english isn't my first language. Again, thank you.

 

[HybridSpectre]

Love this poem. Here's my understanding of it. The conflict within the persona is intense. He desperately wants freedom through death from his neverending loneliness and lack of purpose, but everything around him wants him to stay. He's tired of living. His existence feels like a prison he loathes very much. Yet even with the key to free him in hand, he is hesitant to use it. Excuses make him bail out. Excuses like drugs to lessen the pain or someone to talk to hoping for understanding. But none of his excuses solve his root problem and bring him peace. Every night he'd cry himself to sleep. Still he doesn't get the death he's always yearned for because his soul is still trapped in his body screaming for release. What'd you mean by the metaphor "falling into a thousand-year sleep"?

 

[KatzeK4]

Love this poem. Here's my understanding of it. The conflict within the persona is intense. He desperately wants freedom through death from his neverending loneliness and lack of purpose, but everything around him wants him to stay. He's tired of living. His existence feels like a prison he loathes very much. Yet even with the key to free him in hand, he is hesitant to use it. Excuses make him bail out. Excuses like drugs to lessen the pain or someone to talk to hoping for understanding. But none of his excuses solve his root problem and bring him peace. Every night he'd cry himself to sleep. Still he doesn't get the death he's always yearned for because his soul is still trapped in his body screaming for release. What'd you mean by the metaphor "falling into a thousand-year sleep"?

Hi, first of all thank you for your "feeeback". You understanding is 100% right and I'm happy that it's pretty clear. The 'metaphor' is that the Person is so tired that he's falling / he feels like falling into a thousand-year sleep, wanting to not wake up anymore. Careless and tired.