Help Feeling unbearable mental anguish. Might do it tonight. Please talk me out of it.

[Furlarden]

I've only ever lurked on this forum but I made an account because your post resonated with me. I'm in the exact same situation as you, where my ex left me 8 months ago and it's unbearable. I've also brought a house where I always envisioned we'd live together and now it's just a painful reminder of how lonely life can be.
For me I do have good moments and glimmers of hope, trying to meet new people and experience new things.
However I don't know if time can truly heal some wounds, I'm still trying to figure that part out.
For me personally I've promised myself to stick things out for an another couple of years, that way I can at least say I've given it my best shot.
I thought it would help you to know that you aren't alone in this situation and there's others going through the same. I would have PMd you but I don't hate permission due to low post count.
I hope you manage to find some peace and come to terms with things.

 

[Reallysad]

Guys, I feel incredibly bad and I have no one to talk to. I don't know why but ever since my gf dumped me I felt kinda ok and even motivated, but now 8 months later I feel so fucking bad it's unbearable. It all started a couple days ago out of nowhere, I've never felt so bad in my life as I feel right now. I can barely speak or move, I am paralyzed and I feel physical pain. I feel nothing but the want to die. I wish she would reach out to me but even then I know it won't work because I'm a worthless piece of shit, she hates me and she is right.
And why now, it has been 8 months, I felt good before but why now, I thought I had moved on, I bought a house and will move out in a few months, but I don't feel like it anymore, I just want to die, I feel no hope for the future at all, I am totally fucked.
I don't deserve a house, I'll turn it into a dump, I can't do anything right. I can't do anything at all, I'm totally worthless.
And even then, what's the point of owning a house, just to be alone. Just to sleep, eat, work, rinse and repeat forever.
I'm not fit for life, every time I thought it was going well I was faking it, I always feel this existential dread, even when I feel happy.

Is it because I'm heartbroken? Is it all in my mind? Am I being a bitch? I don't understand, I just want to die. I know it sounds like I'm being a bitch, boo hoo he's been dumped and now he's heartbroken, what a bitch, right? But I've been alone all my life, I've been a recluse, and it meant to much to me. I ruined everything, as usual, everything I touch turns to shit.

I have 99% SN, Xanax and omeprazole. I haven't eaten for a few hours, my stomach will be empty in a few hours, I could do it in my car in the middle of the night, nobody will notice until tomorrow. Nobody will miss me.

Please talk me out of it, I have no one.

I've been 9months away from my ex gf and have young kids together believe me I feel the same but I have nothing to do it with.she also hates me won't give me a chance and I'm alone at home without my kids and her. I wish you well ur not alone

 

[outrider567]

'Unbearable Mental Anguish', been my state of mind for 16 months now