Venting Feeling robbed by mental illness

[Throwaway563078]

The hardest part about mental illness is that it's unseen. So some people will never understand. "It's all in your head" where the hell else is it supposed to be?

I feel robbed due to mental illnesses. I feel like I'm a bunch of issues and not a person. I have anxiety (generalized and social), depression and borderline personality disorder. I hear "you're more than you're mental illness" to people who are suffering from it. Yeah maybe but this true self is tangled with a bunch of illnesses. Time is lost anyways. It's too late to have a decent childhood, adulthood. I missed out on the basic things.

Its all in your head, yeah well maybe the only way out is it self destruct. I wish there was another way but fighting an illness that has stuck with you for so long is so damn hard. I despise the matter inside my skull.

 

[Xerxes]

Normal people think it's just a switch that we could turn off and that they blame us for not choosing to be happy.

 

[Donewith_]

It's not in the head. Besides having many challenges to fight with, and to cope with self , it hurts when people say such words. And yes people can't see how hard you are trying..some people can't experience or feel that unless they face it themselves. Don't blame yourself on this. I've seen people saying the same things to depressed individuals. I feel sorry for you. Sorry I can't help you out in this.. I myself am clueless

 

[Lra888]

Depression has ruined my life and any hope I once had has expired. Mental illness destroyed so many friendships, relationships, jobs, situations, etc. It's traumatizing to think back to all of the things that were destroyed by my own mind.

 

[Lra888]

Normal people think it's just a switch that we could turn off and that they blame us for not choosing to be happy.

Exactly. If one hasn't experienced severe depression firsthand they can't understand.

 

[Xerxes]

I fired my therapist last month because she told me that happiness is a choice, why can't I switch it on?

 

[Lra888]

I fired my therapist last month because she told me that happiness is a choice, why can't I switch it on?

Therapists like that are horrible. They have no understanding of what a depressed person is experiencing. They mean well but it's not healthy for a depressed person to be told that it's their suffering is their choice.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

The hardest part about mental illness is that it's unseen. So some people will never understand. "It's all in your head" where the hell else is it supposed to be?

I feel robbed due to mental illnesses. I feel like I'm a bunch of issues and not a person. I have anxiety (generalized and social), depression and borderline personality disorder. I hear "you're more than you're mental illness" to people who are suffering from it. Yeah maybe but this true self is tangled with a bunch of illnesses. Time is lost anyways. It's too late to have a decent childhood, adulthood. I missed out on the basic things.

Its all in your head, yeah well maybe the only way out is it self destruct. I wish there was another way but fighting an illness that has stuck with you for so long is so damn hard. I despise the matter inside my skull.

It's all in your head as long as they don't have to deal with the times it's not. Atleast in my case, quiet borderline, I'm exaggerated or whining until they get to experience a real episode. Then and only then am i crazy and toxic.

To moving on. It's bullshit in my opinion. We don't all have the same mental capacities for abuse and mistreatment. We didn't all have responsible adults to take notice and help us out.
So I've had my whole childhood ruined, missed so many important milestones that make for a healthy adult, but with one reminder from some well meaning asshole, that all the trauma happened in the past, i should be able to dust the shame, insecurities, unworthyness, fear of abandonment, ect., right off and go enjoy my life!

They can kiss my ass.

Big virtual hug to everyone here.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

I fired my therapist last month because she told me that happiness is a choice, why can't I switch it on?

Good, I've have done the same thing.

I went to see one for a consult. She seemed well versed in truama therapy. I was excited to go back. I ran into some financial difficulties but went back a little under a year later.
During the scheduling, she assured me she remembered me and the trauma therapy we'd discussed.
When i walk intro her office fisrt thing she says is, "you can change any habit in 10 days!"
Like she'd just attended some bullshit seminar. I reminded her my issues are a tad bit deeper than biting my nails. Guess what she says.."oh you just have to find a purpose or reason to want to live"

I've paid this woman $60 for her to come up with a meaning to life in 55 minutes. I never went back.

 

[Xerxes]

It's the norm these days in psychology. You take any random student who got their degree in Psych. to spew out the same BS that's been floating around for the last decade, thinking that their words can help. That drawing in a coloring book can determine your mental wellness. It's almost like a church. You pay to hear some person give you life advice and you're out the door feeling cheap and useless. My previous therapist before her was great for a long time, until he got really popular and started charging $140/hr. Told me over the phone because I was late for 5 mins. that I should value his time and not waste it on trivialities.

 

[TAW122]

Most people in society think that way and it is sad. I've mostly given up arguing with normies about their bullshit because the moment I call them out on it, they get defensive and start accusing me of things being "my fault." They're not worth my time or energy and I've actually done more by myself than relying on bullshit. I myself suffer from social anxiety and Aspergers and I don't see myself overcoming those completely; those ailments are gonna be around till the day I die.

It's all in your head as long as they don't have to deal with the times it's not. Atleast in my case, quiet borderline, I'm exaggerated or whining until they get to experience a real episode. Then and only then am i crazy and toxic.

To moving on. It's bullshit in my opinion. We don't all have the same mental capacities for abuse and mistreatment. We didn't all have responsible adults to take notice and help us out.
So I've had my whole childhood ruined, missed so many important milestones that make for a healthy adult, but with one reminder from some well meaning asshole, that all the trauma happened in the past, i should be able to dust the shame, insecurities, unworthyness, fear of abandonment, ect., right off and go enjoy my life!

They can kiss my ass.

Big virtual hug to everyone here.

Yeah, those are really insulting, and while I was a university grad student, I've regret wasting my time with the counselors thinking that I'd get something amazing from them. I didn't and more often than not, left feeling more sullen and defeated than started. The more infuriating thing is when I wanted to quit, they still pushed for finding someone off-campus. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with them? Also, they have the gall to say that I made a choice to be the way I am. Fuck the lot of them.

It's the norm these days in psychology. You take any random student who got their degree in Psych. to spew out the same BS that's been floating around for the last decade, thinking that their words can help. That drawing in a coloring book can determine your mental wellness. It's almost like a church. You pay to hear some person give you life advice and you're out the door feeling cheap and useless. My previous therapist before her was great for a long time, until he got really popular and started charging $140/hr. Told me over the phone because I was late for 5 mins. that I should value his time and not waste it on trivialities.

Yeah, most of therapists and mental health professionals are just full of the same BS minus maybe a few specialized ones, and personally, I think even those who can help, can only help in very limited circumstances. I've yet to find one that can solve the FA (Forever Alone social problems) nor would I risk wasting time and money to go through many of them only to (most likely) be disappointed. I'd rather spend my time and money on the things I enjoy and find worthwhile pursuing, but that's just me.

 

[Sundayafternoon]

It's the norm these days in psychology. You take any random student who got their degree in Psych. to spew out the same BS that's been floating around for the last decade, thinking that their words can help. That drawing in a coloring book can determine your mental wellness. It's almost like a church. You pay to hear some person give you life advice and you're out the door feeling cheap and useless. My previous therapist before her was great for a long time, until he got really popular and started charging $140/hr. Told me over the phone because I was late for 5 mins. that I should value his time and not waste it on trivialities.

I think only 1 out 100 give a damn. The one is confused and unsure of how to help.

I look at it like daycare. You can drop your spawn off with a certified spawn watcher. They may claim to love your kid. Hell, they love ALL kids. ( which makes their love for yours even all the more meaningless). But one should never forget this person has been hired to do a job. They get paid. That's why they show up.

How many therapist would do their job if they weren't getting paid.

And the "good" ones have so many patients it can be hard to really focus on the issues of one person. It's less time consuming to hit you with a blanket feel good statement and move to the next person.

It's silly.

 

[Final Escape]

The hardest part about mental illness is that it's unseen. So some people will never understand. "It's all in your head" where the hell else is it supposed to be?

I feel robbed due to mental illnesses. I feel like I'm a bunch of issues and not a person. I have anxiety (generalized and social), depression and borderline personality disorder. I hear "you're more than you're mental illness" to people who are suffering from it. Yeah maybe but this true self is tangled with a bunch of illnesses. Time is lost anyways. It's too late to have a decent childhood, adulthood. I missed out on the basic things.

Its all in your head, yeah well maybe the only way out is it self destruct. I wish there was another way but fighting an illness that has stuck with you for so long is so damn hard. I despise the matter inside my skull.

I relate, this is how I feel.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

Rufus May (psychologist in Bolton, UK) is the only mental health person jve managed to connect with. I was on a ward and at first i said no to seeing him, didnt want to hear the usual bullshit of your life is worth living blah blah blah id heard from every single other person involved in my inpatient care. Another patient said he was ok so i gave it a go. Not once did he tell me not to CTB, he just wanted to know my reasons. Nit once did he try convince me, talk at me, we talked together. I knew there was something about him, he had disconnected speach, almost like his mind was stop and start, his laugh felt halted but genuine. Turns out he was diagnosed with a mental health problem in his teens and was in a psych ward. He hid it from his employer and only when he was recognised years later did he tell his employer. He still works now, trains staff on the wards. He is brilliant at his job because he has been there, he understands us for real.

 

[worldexploder]

Sorry you're going though this. People tend to blame others when their burns are on the inside - if that makes sense. Mental illness is a physical illness because the brain is physically damaged thus effects neurological functioning. Doesn't make us "crazy" or "unsound of mind". But it does make us invisible.

People like to pretend that we have true free will. These shiny happy people have brains that are programmed for positivity. They don't have free will either in my opinion. They couldn't turn themselves neurotic just like we cannot make ourselves content.

 

[Schopenhauer]

People don't seem to realize that we are our minds. There's no scaping this. Even if your whole self does comprise more than just your mental issues, they color everything else.

 

[Blackbird]

The more I think about the past the more I realize how much I could have achieved if I had no mental issues. I feel duped.

 

[Throwaway563078]

Normal people think it's just a switch that we could turn off and that they blame us for not choosing to be happy.

Who would choose not to be happy

 

[Throwaway563078]

Depression has ruined my life and any hope I once had has expired. Mental illness destroyed so many friendships, relationships, jobs, situations, etc. It's traumatizing to think back to all of the things that were destroyed by my own mind.

I feel you. I'm sorry. It's crazy one organ can do all that. No matter how rich or whatever you are, mental health really is a major factor

 

[Throwaway563078]

It's all in your head as long as they don't have to deal with the times it's not. Atleast in my case, quiet borderline, I'm exaggerated or whining until they get to experience a real episode. Then and only then am i crazy and toxic.

To moving on. It's bullshit in my opinion. We don't all have the same mental capacities for abuse and mistreatment. We didn't all have responsible adults to take notice and help us out.
So I've had my whole childhood ruined, missed so many important milestones that make for a healthy adult, but with one reminder from some well meaning asshole, that all the trauma happened in the past, i should be able to dust the shame, insecurities, unworthyness, fear of abandonment, ect., right off and go enjoy my life!

They can kiss my ass.

Big virtual hug to everyone here.

*hugs*
Can relate. I'm also a internal quiet borderline and they think I'm making this crap up but when I have a episode they know. It just crushes me how we didn't have a say in this. I have tried everything (I think) to unwind this trauma. I don't think it's possible and I hate how they say crap like "don't give up, don't let it get to you"

 

[Throwaway563078]

Good, I've have done the same thing.

I went to see one for a consult. She seemed well versed in truama therapy. I was excited to go back. I ran into some financial difficulties but went back a little under a year later.
During the scheduling, she assured me she remembered me and the trauma therapy we'd discussed.
When i walk intro her office fisrt thing she says is, "you can change any habit in 10 days!"
Like she'd just attended some bullshit seminar. I reminded her my issues are a tad bit deeper than biting my nails. Guess what she says.."oh you just have to find a purpose or reason to want to live"

I've paid this woman $60 for her to come up with a meaning to life in 55 minutes. I never went back.

I hate their cheery clickbait type of talk. It never does anything. I kind of want to give a therapist one last go but I'm pretty sure I'd be wasting my time and money. Also, they really aren't supposed to give you a meaning of life but help you find your own

People don't seem to realize that we are our minds. There's no scaping this. Even if your whole self does comprise more than just your mental issues, they color everything else.

We can only escape it seems through drugs or death

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Don't know if I'm "allowed" to chime in.
Definitely have a depression of some kind, not diagnosed officially. Same with anxiety. Weirdly afraid of women. Epileptic.
The last one I can't help but see as my defining feature. I've been epileptic for almost 14 years now but trying to get it treated via surgery.
After it's gone, though... after that's gone, and with it my anxiety and depression slowly dissipate, I'd be stuck with a weird, terrifying question: what am I now?
And of course, I can totally relate with the "Come on, man! It's all in your head!" thing.
No shit, Sherlock! Epilepsy is indeed a thing that happens in the brain! AFAIK, there's no "leg epilepsy" or something like that.
Still, epilepsy brings side effects: depression, anxiety, a good chunk of epileptics ctb because of these. If I survive... what am I then?

 

[Throwaway563078]

Don't know if I'm "allowed" to chime in.
Definitely have a depression of some kind, not diagnosed officially. Same with anxiety. Weirdly afraid of women. Epileptic.
The last one I can't help but see as my defining feature. I've been epileptic for almost 14 years now but trying to get it treated via surgery.
After it's gone, though... after that's gone, and with it my anxiety and depression slowly dissipate, I'd be stuck with a weird, terrifying question: what am I now?
And of course, I can totally relate with the "Come on, man! It's all in your head!" thing.
No shit, Sherlock! Epilepsy is indeed a thing that happens in the brain! AFAIK, there's no "leg epilepsy" or something like that.
Still, epilepsy brings side effects: depression, anxiety, a good chunk of epileptics ctb because of these. If I survive... what am I then?

Of course you're allowed to chime in. It's sad so many can relate,.
Im sorry that you're suffering epilepsy can't imagine how it'd be. I also ask myself who am I without my issues. Probably no one. Probably impossible to find out and most importantly too late