Venting Feeling invisible and stupid

[four_walls_girl]

Mum found my blade hiding spot lol. Put it in a candle pot cause I figured nobody would look there but she instantly spotted it and opened it to smell it. She didn't even say anything about it though, stressed about a million excuses for nothing. Kinda paranoid she knows now but isn't letting on

Anyways I wanna get drunk so bad again but my cuts always end up more sloppy but not even that deep, so there's not even a point in them. And when I do get drunk I end up acting more childish and have a thing about trying to "subtly" "accidentally" show my scars, like, so fucking stupid girl, they probably know what you're doing, being aware post drunk/ sober sucks.
Literally had my full arm exposed at one point and nobody even looked, so embarrassing I'm so glad but also sorta bummed that they probably just didn't even care. Why am I like this I don't want people to know in the first place, drunk me is an attention whore I guess.

 

[Worndown]

I never understood cutting but know it works for some. I am sorry you feel the need.
Are there other things to make you feel better than cutting? The alcohol alone works for many.

 

[four_walls_girl]

I never understood cutting but know it works for some. I am sorry you feel the need.
Are there other things to make you feel better than cutting? The alcohol alone works for many.

Binge eating lmao

But realy, cutting isn't even a thing to make me feel better. It's just there, I know I can do so I do it? I know that probably sounds insane and nonsense tho, but to me it just is what it is :P