Venting Feeling in Extremes

[mondaymornings]

It's something I think I've always struggled with, but haven't always had the words to explain. I either feel nothing at all or feel whatever emotion it is to the absolute extreme, so much so that it often physically hurts.
The worst part is that it's uncontrollable, and seemingly narcissistic. I notice that when it comes to other peoples troubles, thoughts, or interests I can't find it in me to feel the way I should towards it. However GOD FORBID I experience a slight inconvenience, or tough situation.
Some examples that come to mind are when my grandma passed vs. changing my username on a platform.
When my grandma passed my mother was bawling, my brother was crying, and I felt nothing. I understood that I should feel something, and obviously comforted my family, but I wasn't at all sad. My mom just thought I was being tough for her and my brother but that just wasn't the case, and I can't understand why.
VS.
A few weeks ago I thought of a good username for a site I already had an account on. However the website doesn't allow name changes, and making a whole new account just seems excessive for such a small thing. I was so strangely upset over how I was too stupid to think of the username when making the initial account that it kept me up at night. Just totally distraught over literally nothing, like I felt it in my chest. Thankfully this instance didn't actually hurt like the others, and I'm pretty much over it now, but still. How ridiculous.

 

[leaf23]

It's something I think I've always struggled with, but haven't always had the words to explain. I either feel nothing at all or feel whatever emotion it is to the absolute extreme, so much so that it often physically hurts.
The worst part is that it's uncontrollable, and seemingly narcissistic. I notice that when it comes to other peoples troubles, thoughts, or interests I can't find it in me to feel the way I should towards it. However GOD FORBID I experience a slight inconvenience, or tough situation.
Some examples that come to mind are when my grandma passed vs. changing my username on a platform.
When my grandma passed my mother was bawling, my brother was crying, and I felt nothing. I understood that I should feel something, and obviously comforted my family, but I wasn't at all sad. My mom just thought I was being tough for her and my brother but that just wasn't the case, and I can't understand why.
VS.
A few weeks ago I thought of a good username for a site I already had an account on. However the website doesn't allow name changes, and making a whole new account just seems excessive for such a small thing. I was so strangely upset over how I was too stupid to think of the username when making the initial account that it kept me up at night. Just totally distraught over literally nothing, like I felt it in my chest. Thankfully this instance didn't actually hurt like the others, and I'm pretty much over it now, but still. How ridiculous.

I'm not trained in the mental health field so someone please do correct me if I'm wrong but it's my understanding that our feelings are inherently uncontrollable? We feel what we feel. Sure, sometimes we can influence what we feel through our thoughts but sometimes our feelings are illogical. That's why there's no right way to feel. What matters on the long run is how our behaviors and how we react to those feelings. In my view, as long as you don't hurt anyone intentionally you're good.

We all could experience events, differently, like deaths and grief. I hope you'll be kind to yourself. Sometimes societal standards are too harsh, even to the point of dictating what to feel.

 

[mondaymornings]

I'm not trained in the mental health field so someone please do correct me if I'm wrong but it's my understanding that our feelings are inherently uncontrollable? We feel what we feel. Sure, sometimes we can influence what we feel through our thoughts but sometimes our feelings are illogical. That's why there's no right way to feel. What matters on the long run is how our behaviors and how we react to those feelings. In my view, as long as you don't hurt anyone intentionally you're good.

We all could experience events, differently, like deaths and grief. I hope you'll be kind to yourself. Sometimes societal standards are too harsh, even to the point of dictating what to feel.

Hey thanks. Honestly looking at my post now I feel silly being worried about how I couldn't control my emotions, when I'm sure no one could completely do that lol. I guess the lack of control I feel is actually just frustration that I can't seem to have the "standard" emotional experience, which seems more controlled than it probably is. (Does that sentence make sense? I can't tell whoops)

 

[leaf23]

Hey thanks. Honestly looking at my post now I feel silly being worried about how I couldn't control my emotions, when I'm sure no one could completely do that lol. I guess the lack of control I feel is actually just frustration that I can't seem to have the "standard" emotional experience, which seems more controlled than it probably is. (Does that sentence make sense? I can't tell whoops)

You're doing fine . Sometimes we just need a vent to sort out our emotions/experiences and fortunately, we have the space for it here. I hope your week /the coming week goes better for you

 

[H.O.Xan]

i feel like this too, u might be a dark empath, nothing to b ashamed of, just try to be aware of ur feelings more, introspective thinking

 

[NambaSutra]

I'm kinda the same way, no "normal" feelings, I don't feel sad or empathic about other people problems. But lately I feel stress and anger to the level of 10/10 about 100% of the time and I have no more pleasure or happiness in myself, that's why I'm here.

 

[mondaymornings]

i feel like this too, u might be a dark empath, nothing to b ashamed of, just try to be aware of ur feelings more, introspective thinking

A dark empath? That's new, I've never heard of those before. Only normal empaths, like my brother.

I'm kinda the same way, no "normal" feelings, I don't feel sad or empathic about other people problems. But lately I feel stress and anger to the level of 10/10 about 100% of the time and I have no more pleasure or happiness in myself, that's why I'm here.

I completely understand. I feel like I'd always be angry, if I wasn't so tired all of the time. Sorry you're going through this man.