I read through your first post, thoroughly, and the subsequent conversation. Many of these folks often give excellent advice on this forum and I respect them, so when I give the following example, please don't anyone take this as a personal reflection of themselves, or of the OP. I don't think at all that anyone is intentionally pushing harm here.
@ghostspace, imagine you were at a party. You stated that you were unhappy and experiencing some temporary instability, but you'd heard heroin could make one feel happy and fulfilled, although you had genuine reservations and concerns about doing it. Other folks at the party said how great the effects of heroin could be and it might meet your wants and needs. You decided to go for it. But I spoke up and said, "I heard your concerns and I think you were quite wise and self-aware in stating them. Have you considered that heroin is highly addictive and can cause real problems? I think there are other, safer ways to feel better, and I think waiting until you feel more stable to make this decision is wise. But, it is your choice and I respect your autonomy to make it." Then you said to me, "I appreciate your thoughts, but weren't you listening to the conversation? We worked through it together and I already said I'm going to do it. I know you didn't mean to, but your words dismantled my confidence a bit. My initial worries were just the result of catastrophic thinking."
If you're confident, it cannot be dismantled by the words of one naysayer. I say respectfully to you as well as to myself, I feel no remorse for directly addressing your stated concerns and not joining the crowd. I heard your concerns, and I respected and honored you enough to address them, standing alone.
I respectfully say, there is an active thread about parents feeling like a POS for wanting and planning to pursue ctb. Their love for and responsibilities to their kids are potentially not enough to tip the scales toward living. That is why I caution against placing the present and future weight of your well-being and a decision to ctb on a foundation of relationships with children.
As I have respectfully said before, your choices are yours, they're not in my yard. Neither is your confidence. I do not possess a super power to dismantle it. My opinions and confidence are in my yard, you are under no obligation to plant them in your own.
From my initial post here to this one, I sincerely wish you the best. I wish for your happiness and well-being, and if you seek it, the confidence and power to survive and thrive. This is just a matter of how I regard you, not any desire to control you. I respect that your wishes for yourself always take precedence.
