Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Hi
I am feeling so sad and guilty tonight.
I have cried multiple times but managed to avoid my go to coping mechanism of SH somehow.
I have been pre occupied and very focused in fighting to get my son back and i should be the most happy person ever but the massive dark ,empty void stills lies within.
My reality is of the repetitive feeling of just living for my boy and not me.
I dont want to live but i dont want him to be on his own.
I hate myself for feeling like this but i cant seem to shake this pattern of thinking.
My desire to live is weaker than my one to go.
I am such a bitch.!
I dont know how many times you can feel like this without it being the last one.
X
 
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Jenna

Jenna

Experienced
Nov 21, 2018
234
Lara,

I wish I could give you a huge hug. You are stronger than you know. You have fought so hard. I wish I had the right words. I know how hard you fought to get him back and how much you love him. I wish so bad I had the right words. You are so supportive of everyone. You are not a B. I know how bad you struggle and I'm so glad you came back. Again I wish so bad I could hug you and say the right thing.

xx
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Lara,

I wish I could give you a huge hug. You are stronger than you know. You have fought so hard. I wish I had the right words. I know how hard you fought to get him back and how much you love him. I wish so bad I had the right words. You are so supportive of everyone. You are not a B. I know how bad you struggle and I'm so glad you came back. Again I wish so bad I could hug you and say the right thing.

xx
Thankyou.
Feeling so so bad tonight
 
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J

JustAboutDone

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2019
3,532
Hi honey
I've just seen your other thread but I hope it's ok for me to write on here.

You've been through a really stressful time recently - and that's a huge underestimate. You lost your life partner and your son and had to fight to get your baby back and have had to jostle a whole host of emotions.

Now you are trying to build a life with your boy - who's grown from the one you knew and everything has changed. No wonder you feel completely at sea and full of mixed feelings - of loss, anger, desolation, everything.

But you can do this. You can. Not just for your boy, but for you both as a unit. To build a family together. It's not living for someone else - it's living for both of you. But you need to start treating yourself as you would him, with a gentle easy loving routine so you can feel your own worth as a person xxx
 
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Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
Hi
I am feeling so sad and guilty tonight.
I have cried multiple times but managed to avoid my go to coping mechanism of SH somehow.
I have been pre occupied and very focused in fighting to get my son back and i should be the most happy person ever but the massive dark ,empty void stills lies within.
My reality is of the repetitive feeling of just living for my boy and not me.
I dont want to live but i dont want him to be on his own.
I hate myself for feeling like this but i cant seem to shake this pattern of thinking.
My desire to live is weaker than my one to go.
I am such a bitch.!
I dont know how many times you can feel like this without it being the last one.
X
You're so hard on yourself :(. Struggling to live is difficult
 
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Sickman75

Sickman75

Swing On The Spiral
Jan 27, 2019
572
may
Hi
I am feeling so sad and guilty tonight.
I have cried multiple times but managed to avoid my go to coping mechanism of SH somehow.
I have been pre occupied and very focused in fighting to get my son back and i should be the most happy person ever but the massive dark ,empty void stills lies within.
My reality is of the repetitive feeling of just living for my boy and not me.
I dont want to live but i dont want him to be on his own.
I hate myself for feeling like this but i cant seem to shake this pattern of thinking.
My desire to live is weaker than my one to go.
I am such a bitch.!
I dont know how many times you can feel like this without it being the last one.
X
im a father, parent i guess i know where your coming from
maybe dont look at like your living for him but maybe doing it as a family?
then you both grow equally. and you two can experience life together.
or to the best of your ability.
 
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