Venting Feeling Guilty for CTB and Hurting Friend

[sadghost]

Today I was texting with one of my closest friends and he mentions that he doesn't handle grief very well, and started talking about how it would destroy him if he ever lost somebody close to him. Earlier he was telling me how I was his closest friend and I know he genuinely cares about me.

I haven't seen him since the COVID shutdowns. We were talking about seeing each other again before the school year begins again, and even planning it. This was going to be the last time that I saw him, I just wanted to make it special.

Now I feel so guilty, I don't know if it would make it hurt him more if I see him again or if I refuse. I know I'm going to CTB soon, and I know it's going to destroy him. I feel so guilty and confused now. I wish I could just erase my existence from this world.

 

[Eren]

Sorry .. I know how it feels, I have no IRL friends, only people I met here, but I do feel very guilty about my mother.

 

[sadghost]

Sorry .. I know how it feels, I have no IRL friends, only people I met here, but I do feel very guilty about my mother.

I feel you. I feel guilty about leaving family too. The reason I held on for so long is to prevent hurting others and it sucks that it is inevitably going to