Feeling guilty and afraid

[Willow]

I feel so guilty. I called off from work to CTB today and I feel bad about leaving my coworkers to deal with things. I feel guilty already about leaving my husband behind when I do it.
I feel certain this is what I want to do, but also lonely and afraid
I am trying to plan out the steps-
Go to a coffee shop and wait for the gun store to open
Buy the gun
Go to a hotel room
Get it done
I don't think I'm going to leave any notes
Not sure exactly why I'm posting this except it makes me feel calmer and less alone
Thank you to all who are reading

 

[Willow]

Well I accomplished the first step. I'm in the parking lot at the gun store now, about to go in and buy the gun. I feel very alone and afraid