Discussion Feeling attached to someone that hurt you.

[Gstreater]

Is it weird to feel attached or have good emotions towards someone that hurt you in a way you feel is irreparable? There's a friend I have that's hurt me and that I probably shouldn't help and should distance myself from. Yet I feel empty and sad when they're not there or don't respond. It's a terrible feeling either way sometimes and I was wondering if I was the only one that felt like this?

 

[Alpenglow]

Take what I say with a grain of salt, my knowledge is pretty limited. Considering they are your friend, you probably have good memories with them, so even after them hurting you, you will probably still see the memories in the same light.

The terrible feeling is normal if you are lonely and don't have a large support group. They are probably symptoms of loneliness mixed with a little lingering attachment.

 

[Creeperella]

I have the same issue with my father, it doesn't matter if he's hurt me in the past i will always think about him and feel guilty for running away from him

 

[-Link-]

I think @Ember is spot on and would echo what they said.

Based on what you've said here -- and depending on what they did to hurt you -- I'm wondering whether this person actually deserves these thoughts and good feelings you're directing towards them. The adage that comes to mind is, "Don't let someone live in your head rent-free." I know I risk overstepping in saying that, but you just sound so hurt in your words here. I would encourage you to reach out to others around you for support, if you're able. Wishing you well as can be in getting through this.