Help Feel backed into a corner

[Tictoc77]

I had previously planned for last week, but having found this site realised my plan wouldn't work. Have ordered SN which should arrive tuesday and plans can happen. However am under crisis team and support of another local MH charity and when I talk to them I get all confused. They tell me I want to live but I just cant live like this struggling so much it hurts so bad I just wish there was an easy out

 

[Pinkdonut]

I had previously planned for last week, but having found this site realised my plan wouldn't work. Have ordered SN which should arrive tuesday and plans can happen. However am under crisis team and support of another local MH charity and when I talk to them I get all confused. They tell me I want to live but I just cant live like this struggling so much it hurts so bad I just wish there was an easy out

I'm sorry your struggling.
Fingers crossed (if that's what you want) that your SN arrives for when you need it.
MH teams and crisis teams can be extremely confusing, especially when your in the midst of your own crisis... It never actually seems like the right time, not when clarity and a natural thought process are all fuzzy. Their there to help I guess, but only you know what you truly want.
Here if you ever need to talk

 

[BPD Barbie]

Do you have any diagnosis at the minute? I've just recently been discharged from the crisis team into the community team and I can honestly say it was a good and amazing experience. But I felt like you did initially, probably the first couple of months. I begged and screamed and cried to just be left to die and they told me that it's not what I wanted which made me more mad and more determined. But then, the meds started to work and things just slipped into place and I started to recover.
Give them chance, see what they have to offer you, what your options are. You may have to see different psychiatrists and different therapists before you meet the right one. It's pretty normal. But give them a chance, it might just save your life.
The way I saw it and still do is, suicide will always be there, it isn't going away. SN has a long shelf life. What have we got to lose by trying one last time? Sending love