Venting Fear of what happens after CTB

[mikaelkeizer]

I first felt the desire to ctb when I was 7. Over the years, I wouldn't say that it was a constant need, but it's definitely been felt more than once or twice a year. Lately, my life has been completely falling apart more than ever before. I have the means, the desire, and the ability to commit, but thinking about what happens afterwards stops me. Will I have to suffer for eternity? Will I have to live another life? Will I simply become nothing, and it will be like I never existed? Everyday my fear diminishes because I want to ctb more than I fear what happens when I do, but I still wonder what the outcome will be. I'm so tired, and I'm tired of being tired. Why can't I just get over it and ctb already?

 

[Worndown]

You can worry sbout what happens if you fail. If you succeed, you will be worry free.

 

[MrDarkness]

It's normal to have fear, but belief is that as long as you don't rape kill or are a pedo you will go to heaven, and I don't picture hell to be bad, I think it's a place of reflection, not a punishment but a place to reflect on yourself. Heaven is filled with happiness and love, it's where those go who god called home, I don't know why god would hate suicide, sadness is just a human trait and so is death, sorry if I sound like I'm pushing my beliefs, I hope you can find peace in life or death, best wishes

 

[Charlie-Bravo]

You can not know what happens, only speculate. Thats why I decided to surprise myself. I hope for the best, like that my experience(not my memories just my lessons Learned) gets saved somehow so that my life was not entirely useless. But the only thing that is for sure, is that nobody knows what happens after ctb.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

What comes after we cease existence is unknown to all of us. We only will know it after leaving this world but for sure it can't be worse than here. To me CTB is a great relief from all the suffering I have to endure in this world.

 

[FuneralCry]

I very strongly just believe that we cease existing after this, once we die we finally return to the ideal state of non-existence, to die is finally freedom from everything and is the only comfort and relief in this dreadful existence, I see nothing more ideal than everything being forgotten about. I only personally fear this hellish world we already exist in, existence is terrifying because of the unlimited potential to suffer endlessly, but the reality is that to die is completely inescapable anyway so there's no point to fearing the inevitable, we are just waiting around to die, existence is just a temporary and meaningless distraction from the fact that everything will be lost to death eventually.