Discussion Fantasizing about CTB.

[Mocha]

I think alot about how I'd like to die. Especially while high/on depression medications. They numb me but I still get a weird joy around the thought of ending it in different often creative, lustful, loving or whatever ways.

Anybody else do this?

 

[thatonegirl]

Yeah, I think at this point the thought of dying is too ingrained in my head. It'll never leave, even if I magically find a reason to live.

 

[sweetdrowning]

I definitely do this. I go to sleep thinking about it. It feels comforting. I've been doing it since I was a kid, honestly.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

i find comfort in it too. sometimes it helps me out of anxiety attacks.

 

[LaetumCat]

Yeah, even when I feel happy! Which is ironic, I sometimes go "I'm so happy, I wanna die!"

 

[yourmemory]

yes. it's a fantasy of mine to disappear, or become a jane doe, so those close to me won't know what i did. i always think about going out somewhere scenic, maybe a national park or something.

 

[tired_fever]

Yes, sometimes. I had a tendency to come up with aesthetically attractive (but bad) ways to die, once upon a time. Like drowning in a bathtub filled with tea and flowers. Or "planning" what I should do before dying, like the bucket list, suicide notes and drawings, even if when the date is nearby it all seems pointless. Still comforting tho.