Fantasizing about a method you'll never use?

[Koaster97]

For me the idea of slowly bleeding out in a bath tub is how I would want to go but I know it's impractical, usually unsuccessful and I'd have to cut extremely deep which would be very painful. I think it's all the stupid movies I've seen it in and the fact that I enjoy cutting myself but it seems very romantic to slowly feel yourself fading away. I also fantasize about just drowning but I know it is one of the worst ways to go out, the image of my body slowly sinking in a giant body of water is also really romantic (if anyone's seen samurai champloo there's a scene that made me fall in love with the idea). Blowing my brains out with a gun fascinates me too but I don't know how to get one in the uk and it seems very impractical for an immigrant. Most of these romanticized ideas of dying come from fiction I've consumed which rarely manages to depict the pain of these methods in any meaningful way but I can't pretend like they don't have an air of gravitas.

 

[Arrow]

For me the idea of slowly bleeding out in a bath tub is how I would want to go but I know it's impractical, usually unsuccessful and I'd have to cut extremely deep which would be very painful. I think it's all the stupid movies I've seen it in and the fact that I enjoy cutting myself but it seems very romantic to slowly feel yourself fading away. I also fantasize about just drowning but I know it is one of the worst ways to go out, the image of my body slowly sinking in a giant body of water is also really romantic (if anyone's seen samurai champloo there's a scene that made me fall in love with the idea). Blowing my brains out with a gun fascinates me too but I don't know how to get one in the uk and it seems very impractical for an immigrant. Most of these romanticized ideas of dying come from fiction I've consumed which rarely manages to depict the pain of these methods in any meaningful way but I can't pretend like they don't have an air of gravitas.

drowning does sound like a pretty way to go. i think it's painful though.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Yes.
Jumping in front of a train
Something Ill never do, but Im drawn to the intense feeling of fear. You see the train coming, theres nowhere you can escape from it, its so intense, like something out of a movie

 

[Cashewmilk]

Until I found this site, I always belived cutting wrists was easy, was brought up to believe you cut sit down and just fall asleep whilst you bleed out, oh if only it was true and that simple

It might be with a scalpel, but it takes a ton of willpower and balls! When I was a teenager I cut my arms, and I so wanted to cut deeper but it just seemed impossible to me. Especially with my scissors and kitchen knives. I guess that's what they use razor blades... I've never used that... it takes a real impulsive adrenaline filled go-getter type person to cut into their veins from their wrists to CTB, in my opinion. I am definitely not that, even if I was shit faced drunk I couldn't do daring things. I'm the epitome of a coward.

My biggest fantasy CTB is jumping off a high point and smack on the ground, it's been one of my greatest fantasies but I'm way too cowardly to do it! I can barely do most things, I can't drive I'm too chicken, I can't operate a needle, or a gun. I can use a drill though! I recently learned that, but just for simple things lol.

Yes.
Jumping in front of a train
Something Ill never do, but Im drawn to the intense feeling of fear. You see the train coming, theres nowhere you can escape from it, its so intense, like something out of a movie

Same here! I often think of this, and bridge jumping.


Even though guns are illegal here without a license, I grew up in a city with high crime and gang activity, so I do have access to loaded guns everyday all day long, they're not mine and I have no idea how to use it, I've had no practice. It's not as easy as it looks. Plus I'm weak I couldn't do it with 1 hand. It's been a huge fantasy of mine for over a decade since I first saw a gun in real life when I was a teenager... but I don't have the balls to steal someone's gun (stolen smuggled guns) and go ctb with it. I'd for sure miss or injure myself and devestate the person I stole it from. I could buy my own but if I had that kind of money I'd try to get N instead lol

 

[Soulless_Angel]

My biggest fantasy CTB is jumping off a high point and smack on the ground, it's been one of my greatest fantasies but I'm way too cowardly to do it! I can barely do most things, I can't drive I'm too chicken, I can't operate a needle, or a gun. I can use a drill though! I recently learned that, but just for simple things lol.

Same here! I often think of this, and bridge jumping.

Standing on the edge of a bridge, looking down in a dark void, seeing the water lit by moonlight so many many feet below, the rushing of wind past your ears, knowing just one step and it's all over, it's a surreal feeling, totally surreal

 

[victoria91]

I do, everyday. I live very close to a well known suicide jumping place off a cliff. I've been up there a few times so close, imaging what it would be like but never had the guts to go through with it

 

[strand]

I use a knife to pull out weeds when I'm gardening so I've thought about stabbing myself many times. Also overdosing, I don't even smoke but I've thought about it, I don't know, I guess it's just something that I know nothing about, that's why I've thought about it.

 

[Tharik77]

I fantasize about shooting myself in the temple with a shotgun, but it's extremely difficult to execute

Spoiler: GORE !!

https://www.livegore.com/5558/aftermath-graphic-shot-gun-suicide?show=5558#q5558

 

[929er]

i often fantasize about very violent, unpleasant bloody methods. like cutting my throat or slitting several veins or jumping in front of a train/off a building/bridge, stabbing myself multiple times, etc. i wouldn't do it, but something about doing that to myself seems cathartic.

 

[Green Destiny]

I imagine shooting myself everyday, even though I don't own a gun and have never even used a firearm.

 

[Iamnotperminant92]

Train - was one way I was considering actually early this year but the nearby RR is no longer in use and it's in my childhood hometown so that seems like an extra dick move.
Fire - just getting enraged and soaking myself in gasoline in protest (harming no one else but making a spectacle). There's a lot of unjust things in this world and just the feeling of 'taking something down with me' is attractive albeit admittedly foolish.
Military - an idea I'd had since I was 15. Dying for your country would be socially acceptable, but my disabilities would prevent me from going on front lines infantry.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Jumping off the Marina Bay Sands pool. With a passion.

 

[NekoNomNom]

I once had a drowning near death experience. It was very quiet and rather peaceful. I was only 10 or 11 at the time, and strangely, was very accepting of it. Probably because that's when my life started going downhill; but also because in certain circumstances, your body doesn't go into SI mode, and instead releases chemicals to calm you down to think rationally to make decisions in order to survive. So I think about that sometimes.

There's a bridge that I drive over every day that I fantasize about driving through the guard rail and onto the highway. I also think about walking into traffic, specifically onto the highway. That, and slamming into every sturdy pole that I see. I usually look out for poles that aren't obstructed by curbs or things like that while I'm out and about.

Other than that, I also fantasize about offing myself in a variety of ways in a hotel room. (One I actually plan on doing when it gets to that point.) Whether it's shooting myself (although I'd feel bad for making a mess), partial hanging (which I've tried and failed, sadly. But I still think about it), taking a bunch of sleeping pills with alcohol (also attempted and failed because I backed out at the last moment).

I find it comforting to think about these things.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

Well mine starts off fantasizing and then I try to put it into action. Sometimes it's a huge disaster like trying to access SN in the UK. So now I've switched to partial. I like thinking about how I will hang carefree, not being able feel mental pain for once.

 

[SpareWheel]

A gun for me. I know that it would be 99% foolproof, and I'd have the bottle to pull a trigger. Every other method I've researched has way more planning needed and more avenues for things to go badly wrong. A gun though, easy peasy. Living in the UK though they're almost impossible to get unless you mix in circles I'm far removed from. I've no doubt if I had easy access to one, I'd be long gone.

I'm terrified of heights so that's a method out the window (excuse the pun) and I don't want to traumatise anyone by jumping in front of a train. A lot of other methods have a real danger of ending up a vegetable and I don't want to burden anyone in that way. A gun though, incredibly hard to get wrong unless you've got a tiny head and a dodgy hand. Not much room for error when you've got a bullet headed for the inside of your skull.