family member is pregant and i cannot deal with it or ctb

[girlsboysthems]

I cant do it, i cannot see this person pregnant, i cannot have kids toys and furniture in the house. it makes me feel bad and i cant handle it. and i also cant off myself bc that would hurt this specific member and the stress could negatively impact the fetus or at worst cause a miscarriage, and i do not wish that upon anyone. i dont know what to do, everyday is going to get worse and i cant live like this. im trying to be positive, to not think about this, to not make a big deal, but its just too much. if i were to off myself im probably going to do it before the child id born so they dont suffer as much, but its still not good. i just cannot cohabit with a baby i really fucking cant...

 

[DoubleUp8]

I cant do it, i cannot see this person pregnant, i cannot have kids toys and furniture in the house. it makes me feel bad and i cant handle it. and i also cant off myself bc that would hurt this specific member and the stress could negatively impact the fetus or at worst cause a miscarriage, and i do not wish that upon anyone. i dont know what to do, everyday is going to get worse and i cant live like this. im trying to be positive, to not think about this, to not make a big deal, but its just too much. if i were to off myself im probably going to do it before the child id born so they dont suffer as much, but its still not good. i just cannot cohabit with a baby i really fucking cant...

I don't get it. Doesn't sound like something remotely worth ctb over. What am I not understanding

 

[dolemitedrums]

I don't get it either. I think some context is missing. Can't just be happy for the family member?

 

[girlsboysthems]

I don't get it. Doesn't sound like something remotely worth ctb over. What am I not understanding

im not a child person, i cannot be around kids, especially newborns, anything female anatomy makes me uncomfortable (i am afab btw), i simply cannot live with a child.

I don't get it either. I think some context is missing. Can't just be happy for the family member?

oh no, i am happy for them, i really am, they wanted this for so long, but i just cant live like this. i cannot live with kids.

 

[remluvr]

Do you have some kind of trauma with being around children?

 

[girlsboysthems]

Do you have some kind of trauma with being around children?

i dont know probably, like i cannot go into stores where they have like kids toys or to parks where kids are. i just cant. i get sick, hot and dizzy and i start crying.

 

[remluvr]

i dont know probably, like i cannot go into stores where they have like kids toys or to parks where kids are. i just cant. i get sick, hot and dizzy and i start crying.

That sounds horrible to have to live with them im so sorry. Is there anyway you can live somewhere where you dont have to see the kid everyday?

i dont know probably, like i cannot go into stores where they have like kids toys or to parks where kids are. i just cant. i get sick, hot and dizzy and i start crying.

That sounds horrible to have to live with them im so sorry. Is there anyway you can live somewhere where you dont have to see the kid everyday?

 

[DoubleUp8]

im not a child person, i cannot be around kids, especially newborns, anything female anatomy makes me uncomfortable (i am afab btw), i simply cannot live with a child.

oh no, i am happy for them, i really am, they wanted this for so long, but i just cant live like this. i cannot live with kids.

I guess I'm just not going to understand. I prefer children and animals to adult human beings. Especially a newborn. So innocent and not yet corrupted by the world. What's not to love? But can't you move out or something? Make some other kind of living arrangements? If you really can't stand kids that much. I hope if you ctb, you got other reasons better than that. I kinda get afab female anatomy uncomfortable thing but I hope you don't ctb over these issues.

 

[girlsboysthems]

That sounds horrible to have to live with them im so sorry. Is there anyway you can live somewhere where you dont have to see the kid everyday?

That sounds horrible to have to live with them im so sorry. Is there anyway you can live somewhere where you dont have to see the kid everyday?

no im a student and this is my parents house. i cannot afford to move.

 

[dolemitedrums]

no im a student and this is my parents house. i cannot afford to move.

Could you possibly view this as an opportunity to start to get over some of this stuff and learn to like being around a kid.

 

[girlsboysthems]

I guess I'm just not going to understand. I prefer children and animals to adult human beings. Especially a newborn. So innocent and not yet corrupted by the world. What's not to love? But can't you move out or something? Make some other kind of living arrangements? If you really can't stand kids that much. I hope if you ctb, you got other reasons better than that. I kinda get afab female anatomy uncomfortable thing but I hope you don't ctb over these issues.

i love animals, i want to have dogs cat lizards snakes and snails, but i cannot stand kids. and no i cant move, i cant really afford it, i tired offing myself numerous times before this and i failed and i thought i still had time to do it before this pregancy happened but it happened sooner (aka it happened, i really thought they were infertile but i guess not).

 

[todiefor]

I'm really sorry about your situation, you sound like u r in a lot of distress, and you are clearly caring about the welfare of this person. Given your considerations, perhaps the best thing to do for now is to try to remove yourself from the situation by living somewhere else so you do not have to see the things that trigger you on a daily basis, but of course I'm sure you have already considered that as a option

 

[girlsboysthems]

Could you possibly view this as an opportunity to start to get over some of this stuff and learn to like being around a kid.

i dont think so, and i have the mega crazy version of ocd with intrusive thoughts and im afraid something will happen.

 

[dolemitedrums]

i dont think so, and i have the mega crazy version of ocd with intrusive thoughts and im afraid something will happen.

Like what?

 

[remluvr]

no im a student and this is my parents house. i cannot afford to move.

Do you possibly have pocd? If so i can understand how the thought of being around a child is extremely stressful. you should seek some kind of help <3 Ocd is very hard to live with and you'll need some help with how to deal with it.

 

[girlsboysthems]

Like what?

Common Uncontrollable Thoughts From OCD

Learn about obsessions, which are unwanted, distressing, and uncontrollable thoughts that are often of a disturbing nature, and a core OCD symptom.

www.verywellmind.com

mid article are some examples, but i am deathly afraid of contamination and i cannot make someone a sandwich without being scared i contaminted it and theyre going to die. im guessing when this child comes the ocd is not going to be nice to me at all. im really afraid what is going to come up.

 

[DoubleUp8]

i love animals, i want to have dogs cat lizards snakes and snails, but i cannot stand kids. and no i cant move, i cant really afford it, i tired offing myself numerous times before this and i failed and i thought i still had time to do it before this pregancy happened but it happened sooner (aka it happened, i really thought they were infertile but i guess not).

Can you kinda like section off part of the dwelling for yourself only? A kind of Adults Only room or something like that? And forgive me but I don't know if it's a small apartment or a mansion. If it's a small apartment obviously you can't.

 

[girlsboysthems]

Do you possibly have pocd? If so i can understand how the thought of being around a child is extremely stressful. you should seek some kind of help <3 Ocd is very hard to live with and you'll need some help with how to deal with it.

i do yeah. just being around pregant people brings intrusive images and its awful.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

i dont think so, and i have the mega crazy version of ocd with intrusive thoughts and im afraid something will happen.

Does your family know about this? If so, then maybe they could try accommodating for you a bit somehow, like making sure that you and the new baby are in the same room with each other as little as possible.

 

[DoubleUp8]

i love animals, i want to have dogs cat lizards snakes and snails, but i cannot stand kids. and no i cant move, i cant really afford it, i tired offing myself numerous times before this and i failed and i thought i still had time to do it before this pregancy happened but it happened sooner (aka it happened, i really thought they were infertile but i guess not).

Can you kinda like section off part of the dwelling for yourself only? A kind of Adults Only room or something like that? And forgive me but I don't know if it's a small apartment or a mansion. If it's a small apartment obviously you can't.

i love animals, i want to have dogs cat lizards snakes and snails, but i cannot stand kids. and no i cant move, i cant really afford it, i tired offing myself numerous times before this and i failed and i thought i still had time to do it before this pregancy happened but it happened sooner (aka it happened, i really thought they were infertile but i guess not).

Can you kinda like section off part of the dwelling for yourself only? A kind of Adults Only room or something like that? And forgive me but I don't know if it's a small apartment or a mansion. If it's a small apartment obviously you can't.

 

[girlsboysthems]

Does your family know about this? If so, then maybe they could try accommodating for you a bit somehow, like making sure that you and the new baby are in the same room with each other as little as possible.

no they do not because my aunt has bipolar and they shunned her, so i get treatment secretly, but i dont think i can do this.

 

[DoubleUp8]

Fucked up wifi where I am at caused that. That and fucked up cricket phone

Can you kinda like section off part of the dwelling for yourself only? A kind of Adults Only room or something like that? And forgive me but I don't know if it's a small apartment or a mansion. If it's a small apartment obviously you can't.

Can you kinda like section off part of the dwelling for yourself only? A kind of Adults Only room or something like that? And forgive me but I don't know if it's a small apartment or a mansion. If it's a small apartment obviously you can't.

 

[girlsboysthems]

Can you kinda like section off part of the dwelling for yourself only? A kind of Adults Only room or something like that? And forgive me but I don't know if it's a small apartment or a mansion. If it's a small apartment obviously you can't.

Can you kinda like section off part of the dwelling for yourself only? A kind of Adults Only room or something like that? And forgive me but I don't know if it's a small apartment or a mansion. If it's a small apartment obviously you can't.

i can stay in my room and go to work, but at some point i will be faced with the child and im afraid. plus theyre going to notice when i will be avoiding them a lot.

 

[remluvr]

i do yeah. just being around pregant people brings intrusive images and its awful.

I'm sorry then :/ The only advice I can give you is to seek help. I have also learnt that for pocd exposure therapy does help. Being around kids and realizing that you ARENT going to hurt them. These thoughts are not real and you will get better <3 Best of luck

 

[EvisceratedJester]

no they do not because my aunt has bipolar and they shunned her, so i get treatment secretly, but i dont think i can do this.

That's awful. If you are getting treated then maybe you could try telling whoever it is you are seeing for your OCD about this? Maybe they can teach you some coping mechanisms to help you through this?

 

[DoubleUp8]

i can stay in my room and go to work, but at some point i will be faced with the child and im afraid. plus theyre going to notice when i will be avoiding them a lot.

No way to save money and move somewhere when the baby's born or find roommates or something. I don't know where you live. I live in America and if you're here I know inexpensive places to live are hard to find. I know life sucks when there aren't good options. That's why we're all on this platform

 

[girlsboysthems]

That's awful. If you are getting treated then maybe you could try telling whoever it is you are seeing for your OCD about this? Maybe they can teach you some coping mechanisms to help you through this?

ive been diagnosed and at the psych for years now and nothing is really helping. so im more or less on my own.

 

[dolemitedrums]

Common Uncontrollable Thoughts From OCD

Learn about obsessions, which are unwanted, distressing, and uncontrollable thoughts that are often of a disturbing nature, and a core OCD symptom.

www.verywellmind.com

mid article are some examples, but i am deathly afraid of contamination and i cannot make someone a sandwich without being scared i contaminted it and theyre going to die. im guessing when this child comes the ocd is not going to be nice to me at all. im really afraid what is going to come up.

Is this kid going to be your niece or nephew?

 

[SentimentalTrip]

I'm not a psychiatrist, so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt, but it sounds like maybe depression is making it more difficult for you to deal with what wouldn't ordinarily be a difficult situation.

Maybe I'm projecting, but I went through something similar. I had an extended family member and her son living with us for a while. It made the house feel chaotic and loud. This made me feel even more depressed than usual even though I acknowledge that that is not a normal reaction to this kind of situation.