Failed attempt - clonazepam (120mg), oxycodone (80mg), 10 grams GHB, 3/4 L Vodka, and much more - need help with 2nd attempt

[ab112]

I really hope someone can help me here. I don't understand what happened to me, and the whole thing was pretty traumatic because of what happened after I was woken up. I took 20 mg zofran before I began, and I woke up only two (!) hours after I took all of this (and more). Then, I fell back asleep for 6 more hours and woke up with what I'd call an extreme hangover (dry mouth, slurred speech, couldn't walk straight). I sweat through my clothes to the point where I had to change. They were soaked. Later that day, I was taken to the hospital by some insane connection of circumstances you wouldn't even believe if I wrote it, but I also want to say that this is a part I really don't want to get into because it was extremely traumatic. If you can just focus on the method part, I'd appreciate it. I don't want to think about the hospital, other than to say that virtually nothing was wrong with me in the hospital. They did a CT of my brain which was fine along with an EKG and then the doctor forced me to have a spinal tap which was negative (and I still have spinal headaches, unless I lay flat, thanks to the spinal tap). My liver enzymes were elevated quite a bit, my lymphocytes were elevated, and I had a fever of 100.7 or so - and that's about it. Oh, my C reactive protein was elevated but not extremely.

They did a drug test (by urine and blood) but left out benzos for some unknown reason. I was positive for oxy, but only a very small amount. They were mostly looking for speed / amphetamines - and all that was negative. They didn't test for anything else except blood alcohol - but that was all gone by then.

What I took (I don't have all of this perfect - but it is 90% right)
20 mg zofran before anything
120 mg clonazepam - split up as oral and orally disintegrating tablets
80 mg oxycodone (which included some tylenol - as Norco)
10 grams liquid GHB combined with 2/3 or 3/4 liter of vodka (this combo alone should have been enough, based on many sources)
Tizanadine (around 40 mg)
Cyclobenzaprine (around 100 mg)
Propranolol (around 100 mg)
I had small amounts of benadryl too.

I had no nausea or diarrhea at any point after this.

And here I am... but I am not supposed to be here. Everything was organized for my life to end that day. I truly cannot be here, and I have to try again - but I cannot fail again (I am still am confused how this failed). I have pharmaceutical grade GHB (xyrem) in a very large quantity. I have 270 grams of GHB. (Usually people use 1-3 grams at a club, back when it was popular.) I also still have 120 mg klonopin left. I can buy alcohol. If I combine the GHB (270 grams is a bit much in terms of causing diarrhea or vomiting, even with zofran)... but 90 grams should do it + 120 mg klonopin + 1/2 liter of vodka...doesn't that have to work at that point? I also have more of the other drugs in the list above - but only 30 mg oxy.

Thank you for your help. It took me forever to find this site for some reason but now finally I have people I can ask. I really appreciate it.

 

[Stan]

To be honest, I have no idea! Just the GHB and alcohol alone should have killed you as you said! Unless of course the GHB was not as pure as the dealer said it was. Just with that dose you took and alcohol you should have been minimum in a coma. You are the first person I have heard of that has survived that, not want you wanted to hear but it amazes me as I had it as my Plan B

 

[TheStranger]

From what i've read overdoses are very likely to fail. Not to mention the possibility of being found and/or becoming a vegetable.

http://lostallhope.com/suicide-methods/drug-poisoning

Given that, this toxic slurry seems pretty fatal to me. weird that it didn't work.

Though i would choose a different method or try a combination with something else.

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

What I took (I don't have all of this perfect - but it is 90% right)
20 mg zofran before anything
120 mg clonazepam - split up as oral and orally disintegrating tablets
80 mg oxycodone (which included some tylenol - as Norco)
10 grams liquid GHB combined with 2/3 or 3/4 liter of vodka (this combo alone should have been enough, based on many sources)
Tizanadine (around 40 mg)
Cyclobenzaprine (around 100 mg)
Propranolol (around 100 mg)
I had small amounts of benadryl too.

What interested you in using this particular cocktail?

 

[ab112]

Thanks for all of your replies. I am so glad I found this board and can honestly talk about this in the open.

I thought some of the same things that you all did. Stan, I tested the GHB the day before (I got kinda high off of it, so it was ok- but I probably took too much away from the total amount - I had 13 grams total). So, I think that was fine...unless I had to shake it or something. It was in a trial sized shampoo bottle and tasted horrid...and smelled (tasted?) somewhat like shampoo.

None of this makes sense. Maybe I would have died if I was not removed from the premises the next day. I was having trouble staying awake and breathing when i started to fall asleep, I tended to stop breathing (but this was over a day later). It was more than just a "hangover" realistically.

I wonder if poisoning deaths need to be very very aggressive, like you have to take the drug - then take it again - then if you wake up - take it again. It's not that easy to kill a person, but we only hear about the times when people die from GHB and all this stuff - not when they live.

Shakespeare - i had an Rx for all of these things (or knew someone with a valid rx so it wasn't underground) that was still not expired. I started assembling the cocktail from what I could get. I kept using various "drug interaction checkers" to make sure these interactions were severe (and they were all depressants). I know N has been around forever (for example) but I had an extremely hard time getting it. I have a lot of fears about doing something physical (hanging / gunshots) - and I don't own a gun. Where I live, it is extremely hard to get a gun anyway.

Thestranger -- coincidentally, i read that a few weeks ago. I thought it was some suicide savior website at first & ignored it. Then, I thought my cocktail was too researched / strong to be like those people who take a bunch of tylenol and destroy their liver. In the "about me" page he has, the crazy coincidence with that guy and me is we both woke up exactly 2 hours after our attempts. The stats are a bit disturbing with pills/drugs. 40 tries for every success... not good. I spent a lot of time trying to get injectable drugs but only came away with injectable zofran (and cosmetic facial filler). The rest of that stuff is very hard to get....even with the MD connections I had.

 

[Stan]

I thought some of the same things that you all did. Stan, I tested the GHB the day before (I got kinda high off of it, so it was ok- but I probably took too much away from the total amount - I had 13 grams total). So, I think that was fine...unless I had to shake it or something. It was in a trial sized shampoo bottle and tasted horrid...and smelled (tasted?) somewhat like shampoo.

Maybe it was the dose? I was planning on taking 50ml. I was talking to someone in private a few weeks ago, someone who was not a big poster in public. His method was to get drunk and use 40ml of GHB. I have not heard from them since they said they were doing it that night. He gave me his details to look out for his obit in his local paper but did not see one. But knowing his story it is probable that the family did not order one.

 

[ab112]

I think the dose could've been the issue. Most GHB (I think) is 500 mg / mL. So, if he took 40 mL, then that's 20 grams and that really should be lethal. 25 grams in your case would probably be lethal too. Do you know the concentration, though? If it is 250 mg/mL - then that means you're only getting 12.5g of actual GHB (which is still a lot, but apparently there's too much room for error with this drug)

Anyway, thanks for posting about that other guy. I think GHB is a possible way to go (possibly reliable too) - but not if you don't dose high enough. The other thing you should know about GHB is that if your body can somehow process it - it is out of your system extremely fast (for me, it was 2-3 hours).

The prescription GHB (xyrem) is given in 2 divided doses. The body doesn't "add" GHB like 1+1=2...it's very weird. It's like 1+1=4. If you really want to look into more about it, do a google image search for "xyrem dosing" or something. You'll see the first dose gives you some blood concentration, but then the second dose (of the same amount) more than doubles the blood concentration... particularly if you're fasting. (I was fasting too... except the vodka and other pill fillers I guess).

I had various fruit juices with the vodka but that couldn't have broken the "fast" I don't think... I just don't know.

 

[Stan]

I know those who use it as a party drug keep a diary to manage their doses so they don't OD. I think it is like a 1ml dose every 2 or 4 hours. But if you do OD, there is no medical resolution to it. All the clinical staff can do is give you palliative treatment and hope you pull through. In the UK a while back, there was a serial killer who used GHB to kill his 5 victims so I have no doubt it is lethal. Some of the reports I have heard regarding symptoms of the OD do make it look quite peaceful.

 

[tariq aqeel]

Is ghb and alcohol a good way to go

 

[ab112]

Well, we do know that people CAN die from it. But we don't know that they all die 100% of the time. There's really no stats on people who had a GHB overdose and lived, except me I guess... but I had the entire pharmacy in my body and lived.

 

[Stan]

Is ghb and alcohol a good way to go

On paper it is, but there are very few observations so it is a gamble. The reason why I chose it as my Plan B is that from the little evidence that is around, its a bit like N. But that is how I interpret it so it is not a fact.

 

[tariq aqeel]

Whats best amount needed to take to try and die guys

 

[TheStranger]

the crazy coincidence with that website is me and the site author BOTH did similar things and woke up 2 hours after (Well, ok I did a lot more) - but 2 hours!?

If both of you woke up from this it may be that one of the substances in this cocktail is neutralising something else, as tends to be the case with pharmaceuticals. I'm not good with chemistry at all though. But it may be a good idea to rethink your research on this and maybe even simplify this recipe.

 

[dedalus1238900]

I've tried this method it does not seem to work for me and It should. I came close.

I had:

- 1 full fifth of alcohol,
- 50 (2mg) Clonzolam Pellets. These are about 10-20 times stronger than clonnzepam. So lets say 1000-2000mg of Clonzepam
-500 .5ug Fentanyl Blotters. or 250mg of Fentanyl. Lets say half of it does not make it from keep passing out.

I started vomiting and someone found me trying to keep the airway free of vomit. I have zero idea of how I'm alive. Pills/alcohol/drugs are off the table. Too unreliable. I'm going with SN where no one is around. I have enough time that I won't be found and most say they wake up shortly after and you have a headache.Final Method 12 Gauge Shotgun.

 

[ab112]

I've tried this method it does not seem to work for me and It should. I came close.

-- Did you have any benzo tolerance? I have tolerance from 12 years of klonopin use (actually prescribed)... which have fucked up my GABA receptors and downstream receptors. I think this is why all these GABA-ergic things may be failing me. GHB works on a totally separate part of GABA than alcohol and benzos, though it is still GABA.

If I stop the klonopin, I might be dead within a week or two - though it would be torture & endless seizures, vomiting, etc... not sure I'd actually die now that I think about it.

I hope you see this post, because tolerance may be the key to this puzzle. I should've mentioned it sooner but I'm tolerant to FOUR milligrams per night... not 120! And not alcohol (I get drunk with 2 shots) or GHB at all. But downstream from GABA (and with glutamate) there might be something my body is doing differently than a normal person.

If both of you woke up from this it may be that one of the substances in this cocktail is neutralising something else, as tends to be the case with pharmaceuticals. I'm not good with chemistry at all though. But it may be a good idea to rethink your research on this and maybe even simplify this recipe.

I was thinking along these lines too - especially slowing digestion or allowing the body to get rid of the toxic chemicals somehow...for example, maybe my blood pressure is supposed to go up but then I added a ton of propranolol (blood pressure lowering med) and screwed that up....or who knows. Just guessing. I put everything into various drug interaction checkers in many combos to see what would happen, but it only ever does 2. It won't do 8 lol.

I was thinking to do 90 grams pure GHB with an initial dose of 4.5 grams (so I won't fall asleep but will be totally fucked up on 4 grams). If I survive 90 grams of G - then I am possibly immortal. I'd need to buy a gun.... somehow. I'd be in a psych ward after that and then you can never get a gun though.

I REALLY think 90 grams of G with 20 mg zofran before that will work.... but maybe it won't be absorbed & I'll pee it out... ugh. This shit is ridiculous.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I really hope someone can help me here. I don't understand what happened to me, and the whole thing was pretty traumatic because of what happened after I was woken up. I took 20 mg zofran before I began, and I woke up only two (!) hours after I took all of this (and more). Then, I fell back asleep for 6 more hours and woke up with what I'd call an extreme hangover (dry mouth, slurred speech, couldn't walk straight). I sweat through my clothes to the point where I had to change. They were soaked. Later that day, I was taken to the hospital by some insane connection of circumstances you wouldn't even believe if I wrote it, but I also want to say that this is a part I really don't want to get into because it was extremely traumatic. If you can just focus on the method part, I'd appreciate it. I don't want to think about the hospital, other than to say that virtually nothing was wrong with me in the hospital. They did a CT of my brain which was fine along with an EKG and then the doctor forced me to have a spinal tap which was negative (and I still have spinal headaches, unless I lay flat, thanks to the spinal tap). My liver enzymes were elevated quite a bit, my lymphocytes were elevated, and I had a fever of 100.7 or so - and that's about it. Oh, my C reactive protein was elevated but not extremely.

They did a drug test (by urine and blood) but left out benzos for some unknown reason. I was positive for oxy, but only a very small amount. They were mostly looking for speed / amphetamines - and all that was negative. They didn't test for anything else except blood alcohol - but that was all gone by then.

What I took (I don't have all of this perfect - but it is 90% right)
20 mg zofran before anything
120 mg clonazepam - split up as oral and orally disintegrating tablets
80 mg oxycodone (which included some tylenol - as Norco)
10 grams liquid GHB combined with 2/3 or 3/4 liter of vodka (this combo alone should have been enough, based on many sources)
Tizanadine (around 40 mg)
Cyclobenzaprine (around 100 mg)
Propranolol (around 100 mg)
I had small amounts of benadryl too.

I had no nausea or diarrhea at any point after this.

And here I am... but I am not supposed to be here. Everything was organized for my life to end that day. I truly cannot be here, and I have to try again - but I cannot fail again (I am still am confused how this failed). I have pharmaceutical grade GHB (xyrem) in a very large quantity. I have 270 grams of GHB. (Usually people use 1-3 grams at a club, back when it was popular.) I also still have 120 mg klonopin left. I can buy alcohol. If I combine the GHB (270 grams is a bit much in terms of causing diarrhea or vomiting, even with zofran)... but 90 grams should do it + 120 mg klonopin + 1/2 liter of vodka...doesn't that have to work at that point? I also have more of the other drugs in the list above - but only 30 mg oxy.

Thank you for your help. It took me forever to find this site for some reason but now finally I have people I can ask. I really appreciate it.

My guess is that you didn't have enough of the quantity of pain meds. I have over 17,000 mgs of morphine ER which is you break them up they are even more powerful. I have over 800 mgs of Xanax, Klonopin, over 800 mgs of Percocet, and muscle relaxers. This is the only way I want to go out. I get scared though because there are people on here that know nothing about medicine that will tell you it's not going to work. I can't see anyone living after taking over 17,000 mgs of morphine ER. I wish I had seconal and some fentanyl patches. My friend who has the same physical condition I do killed herself from a drug overdose but she had seconal which is very powerful and she had saved up fentanyl patches since they didn't give her any relief and she knew she was going to kill herself one day. That is why I started saving up as well. She gave me the name of a doctor that you can call and you tell him the amount you have and he tells you if he thinks it's going to work of not. He said there is always a possibility of lapsing into a coma, becoinga vegetable, being able to hear and see but not able to move or talk. That scares the hell out of me. I already called him once already but I didn't have the amount now that I have saved up. I don't want advice from people who think they know because all it does is scare me. I want advice from a doctor who has helped people end their suffering. God this is why I wish there was dying with dig it for everyone. People with physical illness and mental illness. We have so much on our plate right now that we shouldn't have to worry about if our suicide attempt is going to fail. I'm so sorry yours did. I wish I could get fentanyl pills. I saw a documentary where one kid was given what he thought was a Xanax but it turned out to be fentanyl. He was a teenager and he died overnight in his sleep. That must have been painless. My mother's friends son just died of an accidental fentanyl overdose. He thought it was heroin. People actually can buy mchines off of eBay and sites like that....pill pressers that make pills look like particular kinds of drugs, like the long Xanax bars. Of course they would never have the word Xanax imorinted into them. I know since I take them. You also have to make sure your tolerance is still the right level. I am being slowly lowered from my meds since the FDA and the CDC are pressuring doctors because so many recreational drug addicts are dying fro overdosing. Thanks a lot people. One night after he weaned me off quite a bit I was in so much pain I couldn't take it so I took an extra pill. My breathing started to slow down and everything felt awful. So I'm hoping this is going to work especially after I get weaned off even more. I also know that I'm not going to be found by anyone. I have a lot of time to myself. I'm sorry I went on for so long. Your post just made me very sad and I wanted to reach out to you. I hope that you find peace.

Oh one more thing. If you ever do get enough meds this is how it has to be done. You have to plan your suicide three days ahead. You have to take anti nausea meds ever 6-8 hours until you're ready to go. Then you have to grind up all your pills into powder and out it in pudding or yogurt. Then eat it.

-- Did you have any benzo tolerance? I have tolerance from 12 years of klonopin use (actually prescribed)... which have fucked up my GABA receptors and downstream receptors. I think this is why all these GABA-ergic things may be failing me. GHB works on a totally separate part of GABA than alcohol and benzos, though it is still GABA.

If I stop the klonopin, I might be dead within a week or two - though it would be torture & endless seizures, vomiting, etc... not sure I'd actually die now that I think about it.

I hope you see this post, because tolerance may be the key to this puzzle. I should've mentioned it sooner but I'm tolerant to FOUR milligrams per night... not 120! And not alcohol (I get drunk with 2 shots) or GHB at all. But downstream from GABA (and with glutamate) there might be something my body is doing differently than a normal person.


I was thinking along these lines too - especially slowing digestion or allowing the body to get rid of the toxic chemicals somehow...for example, maybe my blood pressure is supposed to go up but then I added a ton of propranolol (blood pressure lowering med) and screwed that up....or who knows. Just guessing. I put everything into various drug interaction checkers in many combos to see what would happen, but it only ever does 2. It won't do 8 lol.

I was thinking to do 90 grams pure GHB with an initial dose of 4.5 grams (so I won't fall asleep but will be totally fucked up on 4 grams). If I survive 90 grams of G - then I am possibly immortal. I'd need to buy a gun.... somehow. I'd be in a psych ward after that and then you can never get a gun though.

I REALLY think 90 grams of G with 20 mg zofran before that will work.... but maybe it won't be absorbed & I'll pee it out... ugh. This shit is ridiculous.

You can die from benzo withdrawal. Everything you said can happen to you because I asked my pain management doctor. They are the hardest things to get off of.

 

[ab112]

Thank you Sweet Emotion. I really appreciate it. This whole situation has been a nightmare even after my own life has been a nightmare already for so many years. I can't be alive right now - financially and for other reasons - everything was planned to end before now.

The only option I have now is a massive dose of GHB which has killed people even by itself. It would be with alcohol and klonopin which should make it even stronger.

Why do you have to grind up the pills. I asked that on another thread but nobody answered over there.

 

[TheStranger]

Why do you have to grind up the pills. I asked that on another thread but nobody answered over there.

I think grinding the pills will make them absorb faster. Some pills have coatings that will slow the release. Though it depends on the pill.

 

[Darkdreamer001]

I really hope someone can help me here. I don't understand what happened to me, and the whole thing was pretty traumatic because of what happened after I was woken up. I took 20 mg zofran before I began, and I woke up only two (!) hours after I took all of this (and more). Then, I fell back asleep for 6 more hours and woke up with what I'd call an extreme hangover (dry mouth, slurred speech, couldn't walk straight). I sweat through my clothes to the point where I had to change. They were soaked. Later that day, I was taken to the hospital by some insane connection of circumstances you wouldn't even believe if I wrote it, but I also want to say that this is a part I really don't want to get into because it was extremely traumatic. If you can just focus on the method part, I'd appreciate it. I don't want to think about the hospital, other than to say that virtually nothing was wrong with me in the hospital. They did a CT of my brain which was fine along with an EKG and then the doctor forced me to have a spinal tap which was negative (and I still have spinal headaches, unless I lay flat, thanks to the spinal tap). My liver enzymes were elevated quite a bit, my lymphocytes were elevated, and I had a fever of 100.7 or so - and that's about it. Oh, my C reactive protein was elevated but not extremely.

They did a drug test (by urine and blood) but left out benzos for some unknown reason. I was positive for oxy, but only a very small amount. They were mostly looking for speed / amphetamines - and all that was negative. They didn't test for anything else except blood alcohol - but that was all gone by then.

What I took (I don't have all of this perfect - but it is 90% right)
20 mg zofran before anything
120 mg clonazepam - split up as oral and orally disintegrating tablets
80 mg oxycodone (which included some tylenol - as Norco)
10 grams liquid GHB combined with 2/3 or 3/4 liter of vodka (this combo alone should have been enough, based on many sources)
Tizanadine (around 40 mg)
Cyclobenzaprine (around 100 mg)
Propranolol (around 100 mg)
I had small amounts of benadryl too.

I had no nausea or diarrhea at any point after this.

And here I am... but I am not supposed to be here. Everything was organized for my life to end that day. I truly cannot be here, and I have to try again - but I cannot fail again (I am still am confused how this failed). I have pharmaceutical grade GHB (xyrem) in a very large quantity. I have 270 grams of GHB. (Usually people use 1-3 grams at a club, back when it was popular.) I also still have 120 mg klonopin left. I can buy alcohol. If I combine the GHB (270 grams is a bit much in terms of causing diarrhea or vomiting, even with zofran)... but 90 grams should do it + 120 mg klonopin + 1/2 liter of vodka...doesn't that have to work at that point? I also have more of the other drugs in the list above - but only 30 mg oxy.

Thank you for your help. It took me forever to find this site for some reason but now finally I have people I can ask. I really appreciate it.

I live in the U.S. and want get 1,4b...where's a good place to get it and if you feel more comfortable pm me.