This is now my 4th failed attempt since 2022 and I'm really disappointed in it and I'd be dead right now if it wasn't for my survival instinct. I am very numb and just depressed about this whole event, I was so close to freedom from my pain but my stupid brain panicked and stopped me. It was quite painful and I essentially was stumbling around a country road for a couple hours last night until I got to a house with the people there having called the police to take me home. I also scared the crap out of them at first because who expects someone random to be showing up on your doorstep at 4 in the morning? But at least they understood after a moment. Regardless I'm still guilty about it and trying to block it out of my mind.
I wanna cry, I am barely functioning but I can't even end it. All I got from this now is a massive headache :/
I wanna cry, I am barely functioning but I can't even end it. All I got from this now is a massive headache :/
