F*ck my life, I love my life!

[WornOutLife]

This is how I feel daily.
F*ck my life, I love my life!!

I'm doing quite good at working and studying japanese but in the end, I'm like, F*CK MY LIFE!!!

Still, I can sometimes love life on some ocassions such as when I'm playing with my dog, drinking booze (like right now lol), having fun with a girl or talking to my dad!


Anyone can relate? Btw, K.Flay inspired me to post this so, here I go lol:

 

[Just A NPC]

You already know I can lol.

 

[Pookie]

Wonder how you're going to feel tomorrow when the alcohol has worn off.

 

[WornOutLife]

Wonder how you're going to feel tomorrow when the alcohol has worn off.

It'll be hell! I'd better enjoy my UP hours left! lol

 

[PSYCHO_METAL_X]

Absolutely can relate.

I know the general consensus on medication here is not good but I Actually have frontal lobe damage from a mix of psychedelics, weed, and chronic stress and for the first time in my life I feel like I can consistently feel good as long as I avoid drugs for the time being but that's fucking hard. Now whenever I smoke a lot of pot I get psychotic and violent which is the exact opposite of how it used to affect me. I guess I'm in mirror mode now since the only thing that used to calm me down were drugs and being sober had me angry.

Lexapro and risperdal btw, no bad side effects to note.

I used to constantly switch from angry to manic every day

This is how I feel daily.
F*ck my life, I love my life!!

I'm doing quite good at working and studying japanese but in the end, I'm like, F*CK MY LIFE!!!

Still, I can sometimes love life on some ocassions such as when I'm playing with my dog, drinking booze (like right now lol), having fun with a girl or talking to my dad!


Anyone can relate? Btw, K.Flay inspired me to post this so, here I go lol:

 

[motel rooms]

for the first time in my life I feel like I can consistently feel good as long as I avoid drugs for the time being but that's fucking hard.

@WornOutLife , maybe you'd spend a lot less time in "fuck-my-life" mode if you stopped drinking entirely. You only do it once a week, but who knows exactly how badly alcohol interacts with the meds you're on & fucks with your mood for the next 6 days

 

[PSYCHO_METAL_X]

@WornOutLife , maybe you'd spend a lot less time in "fuck-my-life" mode if you stopped drinking entirely. You only do it once a week, but who knows exactly how badly alcohol interacts with the meds you're on & fucks with your mood for the next 6 days

I dont drink tho. Gave that up a while back and felt so self righteous that I only smoked weed but look where that got me lmao.

Alchohol never did anything but help me come out of my shell but that's Because I never abused it like I abused weed.

For context, I've had SI for most of my life and It was only until the point of brain damage that I actually got some help.

Still learning this site my bad

 

[NormaJeane]

I hope you are OK, the hangover can be painful. That is why I very rarely drink alcohol.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

I hope you are OK, the hangover can be painful. That is why I very rarely drink alcohol.

Alcohol is evil. That's why I only drink it at night and refrain from doing so during the day.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I can relate to the first part.

 

[WornOutLife]

It was certainly a great night!
I slept 12 hours so, I feel renewed now lol.

Thank you very much for your company last night!

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[Sunset Limited]

In moments when I hate life, I unwittingly connect with life. Sometimes I think about life for hours. I define it as having an interest in life, even if it is negative. This can be much stronger than a positive motivation. I have met many people who have devoted themselves to fighting windmills. Fighting life is their way of life.

The worst thing is when I don't feel anything. Lately I've realized that I don't even hate it anymore. I don't want to think about life. This is a terrible void. Time flows and every tick tock hits my head. I shouldn't be here right now, but I'm here. No point. Just no point. When the hate is gone, the CTB becomes a need.

 

[BlankUser]

Yeah, there are things in my life that seem worth to try living for I guess?? My boyfriend, my parrot, our dreams to have a house, to have a dog and more birds ... But my OCD sucks every joy out of my life. And my past haunts me that I think there's no way to have a decent life:(
I'm glad you enjoy talking to your dad, family support means so much. It gives you strength to move forward.