Extermely suicidal as my birthday is approaching

[ghostlysoap]

I couldnt even be happy on the day of my graduation. I was so scared of the future.
I was so jealous of people who are not gradauting because they could stay a student longer and have more time to figure things out

I am also jealous of people who have no qualifications like gcse and A levels because they can start again.

I worry the longer I am unemployed the less employers will want me

Because of my mental illness I had to quit my first uni and I started a new one later on in another country (funny enough in the UK, hello hello!)
I was terrified of the exact same thing about my CV being completely empty and whatnot but one of my tutors and one of my dear older friends told me something that really helped me out to go through the work fear. They told me 'Employers will take you if you show them what you can do on the interview itself, show them your own passion for progress that will be enough for them to take you on.' Because at the end of the day they are looking for people who will do their job. Trust me when I tell you, qualified people don't get taken on sometimes because of their self presentation.

In the state of mind you are I would understand that what I just told you will probably stress you out because you're probably thinking in your head 'But how am I supposed to show my passions and how do I know I won't get rejected'. Rejection is not nice but that doesn't mean you should give up. You can also always get recommended to employers. You will be surprised how things work out in life. It's not always linear!

What field of work are you going for if you don't mind me asking?

 

[FireFox]

I want to the ctb because i dont want to see the next 10-20 years.
I want to be anymore

Because of my mental illness I had to quit my first uni and I started a new one later on in another country (funny enough in the UK, hello hello!)
I was terrified of the exact same thing about my CV being completely empty and whatnot but one of my tutors and one of my dear older friends told me something that really helped me out to go through the work fear. They told me 'Employers will take you if you show them what you can do on the interview itself, show them your own passion for progress that will be enough for them to take you on.' Because at the end of the day they are looking for people who will do their job. Trust me when I tell you, qualified people don't get taken on sometimes because of their self presentation.

In the state of mind you are I would understand that what I just told you will probably stress you out because you're probably thinking in your head 'But how am I supposed to show my passions and how do I know I won't get rejected'. Rejection is not nice but that doesn't mean you should give up. You can also always get recommended to employers. You will be surprised how things work out in life. It's not always linear!

What field of work are you going for if you don't mind me asking?

I have no idea.
My interests are in politics , cyber secruity and something that makes the world a better place
Day after day i cant be happy anymore,
I wish I had an older sibling. I hate being the oldest so much.

People with older siblings have someone to guide them.

It makes me cry i have not got a older sibling as i am going through the worst time ever..

My family believe they are helping me but they are not. They always believe their right .
My nan would say things like your mother did not have any siblings and she turned out fine.

SOME NEED MORE HELP THAN OTHERS . IT IS SO LONELY BEING THE OLDEST . I NEED TO GUIDE ME THEN I WILL BE FINE.
I HATE MY LIFE EVERYDAY