experienced psychotic episode in front of people and lost complete will to live

[lazyegg]

my life was getting a lot better in college. had great friends and goofed around a lot. was genuinely a funny person to be around with. however, i had early signs of psychosis in high school (which i didnt took note of) and it spiraled out of control during this semester. really scary and traumatizing experience. i can never see myself the same way again. its like a part of me died after that happened. i used to enjoy talking to people and being outgoing- but now im just isolating myself.
completely sucks because i was trying to overcome trauma from an abusive childhood. things were going well. worst part was the psychosis was triggered from trauma. if it werent for my mental health, things would be normal and i would continue being who i once was- funny, outgoing, smart. but now i dont care about anything anymore or feel anything at all. just numb. i feel completely disconnected from everything i once enjoyed.
it hurts looking back at how everything turned out and how things would have been better if my mind wasnt so traumatized.

 

[animetal]

my life was getting a lot better in college. had great friends and goofed around a lot. was genuinely a funny person to be around with. however, i had early signs of psychosis in high school (which i didnt took note of) and it spiraled out of control during this semester. really scary and traumatizing experience. i can never see myself the same way again. its like a part of me died after that happened. i used to enjoy talking to people and being outgoing- but now im just isolating myself.
completely sucks because i was trying to overcome trauma from an abusive childhood. things were going well. worst part was the psychosis was triggered from trauma. if it werent for my mental health, things would be normal and i would continue being who i once was- funny, outgoing, smart. but now i dont care about anything anymore or feel anything at all. just numb. i feel completely disconnected from everything i once enjoyed.
it hurts looking back at how everything turned out and how things would have been better if my mind wasnt so traumatized.

Hi I also feel exactly this. I've been spiraling and feel so embarrased to be around anyone in the last few months and I isolate myself because my trauma that I tried to grow from pretty much dragged me right back under and I feel really sad that if I too wasn't so traumatized then nothing that I went through in the past few months would have happened. My psychosis was also triggered from my trauma and I've been pretending to be okay to people I care about but deep down I feel I've lost a part of my self and so many meaningful memories that I feel I can't get back. I was also trying to overcome an abusive childhood as well and things were going okay I finally had a boyfriend :( and then when I saw my childhood abuser It triggered every thing in me and kinda ruined me. I'm here if you want to talk and I'm glad I stumbled upon this post as I can relate deeply to everything you said because I'm going through the same thing

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful what you've been through, it's just so horrible how existing here can very easily get much worse, existence certainly is too cruel. But anyway best wishes.