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snooperdooper

snooperdooper

Student
Jan 27, 2024
109
Anybody have that point in depression where you realize this is more likely than not your one shot? I deal a lot with fantasies and daydreams, so I have a lot of scenarios in my head that keep me happy. I really want to live them out someday, some afterlife similar to the good place where you can play out any scenario you'd like. And the thought that this is my one shot fills me with immense dread. I can't overstate how badly I want to live out these fantasies. The thought of an eternal nothingness afterwards just completely breaks me.
 
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miq2k

miq2k

✚✚✚
Jul 8, 2024
47
don't waste your life now, you don't know what happens after death. But you know what can happen today.
 
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snooperdooper

snooperdooper

Student
Jan 27, 2024
109
don't waste your life now, you don't know what happens after death. But you know what can happen today.
What causes me so much anguish is physical and unchanging. Those types of inspiring words just don't really hit for me.
 
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miq2k

miq2k

✚✚✚
Jul 8, 2024
47
What causes me so much anguish is physical and unchanging. Those types of inspiring words just don't really hit for me.
I don't mean it that way. You dream about a life after this one, but you only know this one. You trap yourself, I know what you mean I really do, but please question your way of thinking. It's self-reinforcing and repetitive. How is your only hope the one after death, where we don't even know if there are opportunities for us anymore. Unlike now, unlike a today and a tomorrow where there are chances, there is change, after death is just a constant emptiness as far as we can tell. It could be different, in which case I'd be glad for you and me, but we don't know that.
 
getoutgirl

getoutgirl

<3
Mar 17, 2025
488
Philosopher Fred Durst once said:
Fred durst
I think this can apply in a similar sense to the afterlife.
You can obsess over it if you have no other way to cope. I get that. I also get the dread of finding out this is your one shot, and it's these the circumstances you were dealt.
I think existentialism offers a few next steps to go from there, it doesn't have to end in dread. But yes I get it. Anfd for someone who'd like to live so bad such as yourself, to live like you'd want to but feel unable to... it is quite a dilemma yeah.
Fred Durst also said "It's amazing how, over time, a person's perspective can be altered." so hey... maybe some day you get to live another fantasy, a different one, but that by then you are happy to live. In your state you can't imagine that, but who knows. Fred Durst is pretty smart after all maybe he had a point there.
Hugs <3
 
snooperdooper

snooperdooper

Student
Jan 27, 2024
109
I don't mean it that way. You dream about a life after this one, but you only know this one. You trap yourself, I know what you mean I really do, but please question your way of thinking. It's self-reinforcing and repetitive. How is your only hope the one after death, where we don't even know if there are opportunities for us anymore. Unlike now, unlike a today and a tomorrow where there are chances, there is change, after death is just a constant emptiness as far as we can tell. It could be different, in which case I'd be glad for you and me, but we don't know that.
There's nothing I find enjoyable with this life, in this body. I don't have any aspirations, in fact I feel disgusting doing anything other than the most basic movements to keep myself alive and a functioning member of society. Yes, I could probably reverse that line of thinking. But it'd come with years of mental anguish and suffering and struggle. I truly from the bottom of my heart don't believe what comes after that would make up for that struggle.

I'm going to end up at the same place no matter if I die tomorrow or slog through the next 60 years. There are people here who have explored the latter option and they are still here. Where is their opportunity?
Philosopher Fred Durst once said:
View attachment 179677
I think this can apply in a similar sense to the afterlife.
You can obsess over it if you have no other way to cope. I get that. I also get the dread of finding out this is your one shot, and it's these the circumstances you were dealt.
I think existentialism offers a few next steps to go from there, it doesn't have to end in dread. But yes I get it. Anfd for someone who'd like to live so bad such as yourself, to live like you'd want to but feel unable to... it is quite a dilemma yeah.
Fred Durst also said "It's amazing how, over time, a person's perspective can be altered." so hey... maybe some day you get to live another fantasy, a different one, but that by then you are happy to live. In your state you can't imagine that, but who knows. Fred Durst is pretty smart after all maybe he had a point there.
Hugs <3
I hear Fred durst writes some pretty good poems too
 
miq2k

miq2k

✚✚✚
Jul 8, 2024
47
There's nothing I find enjoyable with this life, in this body. I don't have any aspirations, in fact I feel disgusting doing anything other than the most basic movements to keep myself alive and a functioning member of society. Yes, I could probably reverse that line of thinking. But it'd come with years of mental anguish and suffering and struggle. I truly from the bottom of my heart don't believe what comes after that would make up for that struggle.

I'm going to end up at the same place no matter if I die tomorrow or slog through the next 60 years. There are people here who have explored the latter option and they are still here. Where is their opportunity?
As tragic as life is, you don't make it much better by wallowing in sadness.. of course this is valid, but if it did you any good thinking this way then you wouldn't complain. You'd be content in it, you wouldn't notice because it would count as mundane and normal. But you seek more, and you can do more, even in the position you may be in… I admit I cant know though, I can only speak from my personal experience. I might be wrong. In that case, I'm sorry for mischaracterizing your problems. But if I'm not wrong, please at the very least consider that things could be even just a little different.

Besides that, I would like to say.. death isn't always tragic. Our lives may all just have been lives, but it's the experience in them that makes it worthwhile and the changes that happen and the experience that make it what it is. Death isnt always tragic end to it, but resolution to every bad thing that happens in those lives. You seem to view it as though life can only be pleasant if certain ideals are met, I agree, but it can also be pleasant through small things, appreciation, beauty, and the acceptance of whatever suffering comes with it because that's just the experience of being human, bitterness won't change the experience of life to a positive, appreciation can.
 
snooperdooper

snooperdooper

Student
Jan 27, 2024
109
As tragic as life is, you don't make it much better by wallowing in sadness.. of course this is valid, but if it did you any good thinking this way then you wouldn't complain. You'd be content in it, you wouldn't notice because it would count as mundane and normal. But you seek more, and you can do more, even in the position you may be in… I admit I cant know though, I can only speak from my personal experience. I might be wrong. In that case, I'm sorry for mischaracterizing your problems. But if I'm not wrong, please at the very least consider that things could be even just a little different.

Besides that, I would like to say.. death isn't always tragic. Our lives may all just have been lives, but it's the experience in them that makes it worthwhile and the changes that happen and the experience that make it what it is. Death isnt always tragic end to it, but resolution to every bad thing that happens in those lives. You seem to view it as though life can only be pleasant if certain ideals are met, I agree, but it can also be pleasant through small things, appreciation, beauty, and the acceptance of whatever suffering comes with it because that's just the experience of being human, bitterness won't change the experience of life to a positive, appreciation can.
I read all of this multiple times over and I don't think you're arguing against what I said. I understand where you are coming from and the purpose of your words but I don't understand how you related all of that to any of what I said.
 
evilblondegirl

evilblondegirl

Member
Aug 3, 2025
24
There's nothing I find enjoyable with this life, in this body. I don't have any aspirations, in fact I feel disgusting doing anything other than the most basic movements to keep myself alive and a functioning member of society. Yes, I could probably reverse that line of thinking. But it'd come with years of mental anguish and suffering and struggle. I truly from the bottom of my heart don't believe what comes after that would make up for that struggle.

I'm going to end up at the same place no matter if I die tomorrow or slog through the next 60 years. There are people here who have explored the latter option and they are still here. Where is their opportunity?

I hear Fred durst writes some pretty good poems too
I can really relate to the first part I hope we are able to find peace after death
 
miq2k

miq2k

✚✚✚
Jul 8, 2024
47
I read all of this multiple times over and I don't think you're arguing against what I said. I understand where you are coming from and the purpose of your words but I don't understand how you related all of that to any of what I said.
"I'm going to end up at the same place no matter if I die tomorrow or slog through the next 60 years" relates to the last part of the paragraph, you seem to view it as if it's a curse ("The thought of an eternal nothingness afterwards just completely breaks me.") meanwhile I view the eternal nothingness as resolution. And the first paragraph relates to "There's nothing I find enjoyable with this life, in this body. I don't have any aspirations, in fact I feel disgusting doing anything other than the most basic movements to keep myself alive and a functioning member of society." Because I think, that there could be so much more, I think, you can do things or find things to do even when they're super small that could make you more comfortable being alive and enjoying the time you have available.
60 years. Thats a lot of time for all us small humans, it's pointless and painful, but thats no reason to view the endurance and resilience that comes from it as a complete negative, and no reason to belittle what can be nice. You dint even give it a chance.
I think here is our difference. I think I can only guarantee this life, and death is a calm goodbye from all the pain I will experience next to all the pleasures. Meanwhile you described this life as painful and pointless, so only the latter could be full of the opportunities and hope to live

Do I sound harsh…? I feel like I sound harsh but I don't mean it that way at all :*
 

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