I apologize in advance if these seems like rambling, that is not my intention. I simply have nowhere else to turn to aside from this blessing of a forum. I feel the need to scream about all of the nothing that I've done for thirty one years. I believe I have stumbled and fallen and never gotten up as far as l am concerned. I've truly done nothing. No source of happiness for me, no outlets to express myself.
The only thing I feel any happiness or pride about is the birth of my boy. I have clenched onto this horrible ride and continued moving forward for his sake. I fear that even he is not enough to stay around for. I never see him anymore, his mother has successfully kicked me out of the family I made and replaced me with another. Without him, there is no point to any of this. I miss how interesting and full of hope life seemed when I was younger. I miss many things. But I am digressing. I know how I'm going to go about everything. I've known for a while.
I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but I must say I have figured out a perfect way for me to get this over with, for me personally at least. I just can't go anywhere without professing to someone, anyone, my feelings for my son, in a public, permanent way. I need my thoughts to be etched somewhere forever. I need someone to know that he was on my mind through all of this and that I love him absolutely and completely. He is all I ever think about. Nothing can change that. Not a single thing.
I think this forum is incredible and I believe I may have finally found a little place on Earth that I truly belong. I appreciate everyone for contributing to this place and making it what it is for me. May SS.net go on forever. A good night to all and a thank you for your time.
May you lead a life thrice as fine as mine.
The only thing I feel any happiness or pride about is the birth of my boy. I have clenched onto this horrible ride and continued moving forward for his sake. I fear that even he is not enough to stay around for. I never see him anymore, his mother has successfully kicked me out of the family I made and replaced me with another. Without him, there is no point to any of this. I miss how interesting and full of hope life seemed when I was younger. I miss many things. But I am digressing. I know how I'm going to go about everything. I've known for a while.
I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but I must say I have figured out a perfect way for me to get this over with, for me personally at least. I just can't go anywhere without professing to someone, anyone, my feelings for my son, in a public, permanent way. I need my thoughts to be etched somewhere forever. I need someone to know that he was on my mind through all of this and that I love him absolutely and completely. He is all I ever think about. Nothing can change that. Not a single thing.
I think this forum is incredible and I believe I may have finally found a little place on Earth that I truly belong. I appreciate everyone for contributing to this place and making it what it is for me. May SS.net go on forever. A good night to all and a thank you for your time.
May you lead a life thrice as fine as mine.
