Venting Everything sucks

[highjumping]

I'm on vacation with my family and it's the biggest mistake i've ever made, i hate these people so much. My father tells me I'm fat even tho i have a fucking eating disorder and i'm trying to recover but no, he tells me "you shouldn't eat that, that's why you're out of breath when we hike" i'm smoking so that's the reason and not that i am fat, i hate him so much, now my ed tells me to not eat anything anymore and start relapsing, but if i do he will scream at me again for being ungrateful. The internet here sucks so i can barely post on here and it stresses me out, i hope this post is getting posted. I'm here until thursday, i hate this so much. Remind me: Never agree on vacation with my family again!
All my recovery efforts will be destroyed within hours, I can't wait to go no contact soon. Sorry I can't fit into your absurdly high standards mom and dad, i suffer enough already. I'll probably make a plan to CTB when I'm home, this just showed me that staying here is useless.
Sorry for the long rant, I just have to get this out of my system.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I'm on vacation with my family and it's the biggest mistake i've ever made, i hate these people so much. My father tells me I'm fat even tho i have a fucking eating disorder and i'm trying to recover but no, he tells me "you shouldn't eat that, that's why you're out of breath when we hike" i'm smoking so that's the reason and not that i am fat, i hate him so much, now my ed tells me to not eat anything anymore and start relapsing, but if i do he will scream at me again for being ungrateful. The internet here sucks so i can barely post on here and it stresses me out, i hope this post is getting posted. I'm here until thursday, i hate this so much. Remind me: Never agree on vacation with my family again!
All my recovery efforts will be destroyed within hours, I can't wait to go no contact soon. Sorry I can't fit into your absurdly high standards mom and dad, i suffer enough already. I'll probably make a plan to CTB when I'm home, this just showed me that staying here is useless.
Sorry for the long rant, I just have to get this out of my system.

Hello @highjumping, what a terrible experience during vacation - I'm so sorry and I couldn't find words to console you... It sounds like really hopeless...

Do you have any way to distract yourself?

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like such an awful situation to be in, some people really just are so cruel, I find it horrible how people force life here just to treat the person so cruelly. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[highjumping]

Hello @highjumping, what a terrible experience during vacation - I'm so sorry and I couldn't find words to console you... It sounds like really hopeless...

Do you have any way to distract yourself?

I'm listening to music right now but I don't really have anything here.

That sounds like such an awful situation to be in, some people really just are so cruel, I find it horrible how people force life here just to treat the person so cruelly. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.

Thank you a lot

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Your parents are causing you truly a horrible time in this vacation. I don't get it how parents can be like that. Yes, it's a good idea to develp a ctb plan to have ready when the time comes. Venting and ranting is good sometimes and reduces anger and pain a bit. I wish you all the best!

 

[LoiteringClouds]

My father tells me I'm fat even tho i have a fucking eating disorder and i'm trying to recover but no, he tells me "you shouldn't eat that, that's why you're out of breath when we hike" i'm smoking so that's the reason and not that i am fat, i hate him so much, now my ed tells me to not eat anything anymore and start relapsing, but if i do he will scream at me again for being ungrateful.

I looked for your posts and found your dad was very abusive person. I have no idea what to do other than avoid him as much as possible, but it's a vacation... When your parents have absurdly high standards which you can never meet, they aren't even "high standards" - They're lame excuses they invented just to justify their abuse, I guess. It's never your fault.

I'm listening to music right now but I don't really have anything here.

I'm so sorry to hear that... I wish your vacation will be bearable

 

[highjumping]

I looked for your posts and found your dad was very abusive person. I have no idea what to do other than avoid him as much as possible, but it's a vacation... When your parents have absurdly high standards which you can never meet, they aren't even "high standards" - They're lame excuses they invented just to justify their abuse, I guess. It's never your fault.


I'm so sorry to hear that... I wish your vacation will be bearable

Yes he is, he hurt me a lot and I feel like I have to walk around on eggshells around him or else he will snap and scream at me or worse. Thanks for you kind words <3

 

[Daxter_87]

It's really cruel that people have children and then they treat them like this. It's a recurring pattern with parents: you suffer, they blame you for your suffering. It's always your fault, something that you are doing wrong.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

im so sorry your parents are causing you so much suffering. is there anywhere you can go to get away from them for a while?