Everything seems right… I don’t know what’s stopping me.

[pickpocket]

I'm freshly showering in my comfiest clothes in clean sheets. I just had another massive argument with my family about how much of a burden i am and how much they resent me and how i'm a cold and rude and condescending and manipulative person. not my words, theirs. they've said outright they'd be better off without me. I want it, too. I am in excruciating pain 24/7 and no doctors are taking me seriously or trying to help even though it's their botched surgery that left me like this. i have, quite literally, no friends. which maybe is because of my evidently repulsive personality. i have everything i need to get on that bus right now… but for some reason im scared. i feel really alone right now. i have nobody in my life to talk to about any of this. maybe it's for the better.

 

[meddle]

im so sorry you feel that way. im sorry your family says that things to you, its so bad... like i cant even find the words to describe how bad it is. they have to support you, not drown... and its very normal to be afraid of death, its an evolutionary mechanism after all
but we are here for you, we will listen. and we support whatever you will decide for yourself. you dont have to be completely alone, you have the presence of creepy internet strangers, haha