Venting Everything Keeps Compounding

[Alcoholic Failure]

This month marks a one year anniversary from when I thought I was getting my family back. And in that year I've lost more than I ever have.
May 2022: my ex wife told me she would never be with me again, despite going through a year of alcohol treatment and becoming the best version of me.
June: I begged for another chance and to at least see my daughters.
July: my ex sends me pictures of my two young daughters and includes a picture of her new man.
I overdose on alcohol and Benadryl and have a seizure: go to the hospital for a week.
August: I get tired of being pulled along and tell her I'm done with it.
September: I drink a liter of rum and tell my ex I'm going to hang myself, which I do. I end up in a psyche ward.
October: get summoned to court. Skip the court date and spend 60 days in jail.
November: still in jail.
December: still in jail.
January: get out of jail early, but the judge does not give me additional instructions.
Mid January: arrested for failure to appear to AP&P and sentenced to 30 more days.
My ex takes away custody of my kids while in jail.
March: stay out of jail by complying with AP&P.
April: ex wife files a lawsuit against me.
May: found a place to do community service and a job.
June: I guess we'll see. Thanks for reading my experience.
This is just a comprehensive list of major events related to what I thought would be my family.
I have also lost all support from my immediate family and friends since going to jail. My mom told me that she won't talk to me again until I "get my shit together"

 

[Outandproud]

Sorry I didn't get why you went to jail ? Im sober from alcohol since last year and I feel more in control of my emotions and my behavior. But i did abuse of ketamine all this past months :3

 

[Alcoholic Failure]

My ex filed a no contact order against me, but I drunk texted her.

 

[Outandproud]

Ohhhh.. alcohol is the worse drug ever.. have u tried replace it with something else?

 

[Alcoholic Failure]

I was sober for a year when I replaced it with THC. It's the only thing that's helped. But once I start drinking, it's almost impossible to stop on my own. That's what happened. I was doing good and then I decided to have a few cocktails and before I knew it I was drinking a 5th a day, blacking out, ruining my life and all that shit.

I was sober for a year when I replaced it with THC. It's the only thing that's helped. But once I start drinking, it's almost impossible to stop on my own. That's what happened. I was doing good and then I decided to have a few cocktails and before I knew it I was drinking a 5th a day, blacking out, ruining my life and all that shit.

Right now I'm stuck in the cycle of either binge drinking or stopping and having seizures

I was sober for a year when I replaced it with THC. It's the only thing that's helped. But once I start drinking, it's almost impossible to stop on my own. That's what happened. I was doing good and then I decided to have a few cocktails and before I knew it I was drinking a 5th a day, blacking out, ruining my life and all that shit.

Right now I'm stuck in the cycle of either binge drinking or stopping and having seizures

But my life is already fucked up beyond repair so I don't really care anymore.

 

[Outandproud]

I was sober for a year when I replaced it with THC. It's the only thing that's helped. But once I start drinking, it's almost impossible to stop on my own. That's what happened. I was doing good and then I decided to have a few cocktails and before I knew it I was drinking a 5th a day, blacking out, ruining my life and all that shit.

Right now I'm stuck in the cycle of either binge drinking or stopping and having seizures

But my life is already fucked up beyond repair so I don't really care anymore.

Oh yeah i been there too. Alcoholism is an incurable disease and the only way to carry it with grace is restrict alcohol to a 100% percent, forever. Ketamine can be useful for some people, but still it can be addictive. Weed give me panic/anxiety and i was used to mixed it with alcohol too so it just don't work for me.

 

[DysmorphTic]

Ex-con here, I just got out of prison after a 3 year bid. Once you go to jail it's so easy to go back. It's like jail is easy, it's weird, for me it's a safe zone. Just try not to get comfortable with jail, and don't let going to jail become a cycle, because I'm also an alcoholic, and my alcohol use is cyclic, and jail became a part of that cycle.

Much love to you

 

[Alcoholic Failure]

Oh yeah i been there too. Alcoholism is an incurable disease and the only way to carry it with grace is restrict alcohol to a 100% percent, forever. Ketamine can be useful for some people, but still it can be addictive. Weed give me panic/anxiety and i was used to mixed it with alcohol too so it just don't work for me.

Yeah a lot of people recommended ketamine to me during my year sober. The therapists said I had "treatment resistant depression". I never did try the ketamine but THC alone did it for me. That's how I stayed sober for a year. It wasn't a failure of that that caused my disgusting relapse. It was my own doing.
I chose to drink a fifth of rum after leaving the sober living. That's what caused it. And all the times after that it was the same thing. It worked and then it didn't. But that's because I decided to drink a fifth of rum instead of doing the program. That's true. I hope one day I can try ketamine and it will work. But I've never tried it. So there's no statistic.
I've tried weed and that stopped me from getting drunk for a straight year. After I found out that THC and ketamine are "the same" as alcohol, I stopped.
And the results were the same.

Ex-con here, I just got out of prison after a 3 year bid. Once you go to jail it's so easy to go back. It's like jail is easy, it's weird, for me it's a safe zone. Just try not to get comfortable with jail, and don't let going to jail become a cycle, because I'm also an alcoholic, and my alcohol use is cyclic, and jail became a part of that cycle.

Much love to you

Thank you so much. I didn't spend much time in jail to be fair, but that could change. Judge said I could do a year in county jail(which you know is ass)
I'm trying to break the habit. It just seems like there's too many things to get in order. So in some ways I would prefer jail... I just need to figure out how to do the States time on my time. Hopefully I will.
Until then, thank you for your reply. I wish you the best my man.

Oh yeah i been there too. Alcoholism is an incurable disease and the only way to carry it with grace is restrict alcohol to a 100% percent, forever. Ketamine can be useful for some people, but still it can be addictive. Weed give me panic/anxiety and i was used to mixed it with alcohol too so it just don't work for me.

Do you need a prescription for ketamine? Much love thank you.

 

[Outandproud]

Yeah a lot of people recommended ketamine to me during my year sober. The therapists said I had "treatment resistant depression". I never did try the ketamine but THC alone did it for me. That's how I stayed sober for a year. It wasn't a failure of that that caused my disgusting relapse. It was my own doing.
I chose to drink a fifth of rum after leaving the sober living. That's what caused it. And all the times after that it was the same thing. It worked and then it didn't. But that's because I decided to drink a fifth of rum instead of doing the program. That's true. I hope one day I can try ketamine and it will work. But I've never tried it. So there's no statistic.
I've tried weed and that stopped me from getting drunk for a straight year. After I found out that THC and ketamine are "the same" as alcohol, I stopped.
And the results were the same.

Thank you so much. I didn't spend much time in jail to be fair, but that could change. Judge said I could do a year in county jail(which you know is ass)
I'm trying to break the habit. It just seems like there's too many things to get in order. So in some ways I would prefer jail... I just need to figure out how to do the States time on my time. Hopefully I will.
Until then, thank you for your reply. I wish you the best my man.

Do you need a prescription for ketamine? Much love thank you.

I buy it to dealers 50 ml liquid and then cook it in the microwave and get powder

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so awful what you've been through, existing here certainly is so hellish. But anyway I wish you the best.