Kaczka86
Looking for...?
- Dec 15, 2019
- 52
I don't even know where to start but hi! I joined this forum back in 2019. It's end of 2022 and no I still don't feel great!
A lot happened in my life recently, you can even say I'm moving forward with everything. Back in 2019 I would never believe myself if I heard I'll meet up someone online, date them online for two years and later move abroad and live only an hour away from them. I would not believe if you told me I'll study computing part time and work full time and be completely independent in a foreign country.
I'd never believe, but here we are! Everything happened. But man, it's so fucking hard. I'm still so tired of being here. Currently living in Ireland (lovely housing crisis!) in a small apartment with my old landlord and his NEET son. We got p much kicked out from our old apartment because the real owner decided to sell it. So now I'm paying more for way less, great! There's literally no space here for 3 people and I don't even know if we're allowed to live here in 3 lol
I love my boyfriend but being with him is a damn challenge. We come from completely opposite backgrounds - poor and rich. My parents divorced, never had my own room as we all always lived at my grandma's place, poor and uneducated background, lots of alcohol abuse. I p much have no help from anyone and never had because money was always a problem in my family. My boyfriend, parents together, went to private schools, already graduated in CS. Rich family who paid for his apartment while in college and now will help him out here in Ireland because they're aware of housing crisis. He's a good boy from a good house. We share interests and some worldviews and in general I'd say we're a good match, but there are still differences that just make everything harder. Like, he won't rent apartment with me because his parents (who have no idea about me till now btw, though he's going to tell them about me soon) would disapprove as we are not married, the apartment we'd be able to rent would be too small for him and it'd make us argue more and would probably cause our breakup (his words). I think he also doesn't want to live with a stranger as we only dated online and started seeing each other irl around two months ago. I dearly love him but all of that, and couple other things like being able to meet up only once a week because my schedule is tight, is just killing me. Also he's a catholic who truly believes in a god and goes to church every sunday. I don't believe in that bullshit and honestly I don't like any religion. Another difference and obstacle! But I think there is no such thing as 100% match with people, so that's fine. Still though, irritating.
So, all of that plus being on autism spectrum and being highly sensitive person. Literally never had meltdowns in my life until I started living in a city (yes, I always lived in rural areas).
I don't even know what's the point of my post anymore. I guess I just felt like venting and needed to say what's inside of me. If you survived till now, please! Let me know!
A lot happened in my life recently, you can even say I'm moving forward with everything. Back in 2019 I would never believe myself if I heard I'll meet up someone online, date them online for two years and later move abroad and live only an hour away from them. I would not believe if you told me I'll study computing part time and work full time and be completely independent in a foreign country.
I'd never believe, but here we are! Everything happened. But man, it's so fucking hard. I'm still so tired of being here. Currently living in Ireland (lovely housing crisis!) in a small apartment with my old landlord and his NEET son. We got p much kicked out from our old apartment because the real owner decided to sell it. So now I'm paying more for way less, great! There's literally no space here for 3 people and I don't even know if we're allowed to live here in 3 lol
I love my boyfriend but being with him is a damn challenge. We come from completely opposite backgrounds - poor and rich. My parents divorced, never had my own room as we all always lived at my grandma's place, poor and uneducated background, lots of alcohol abuse. I p much have no help from anyone and never had because money was always a problem in my family. My boyfriend, parents together, went to private schools, already graduated in CS. Rich family who paid for his apartment while in college and now will help him out here in Ireland because they're aware of housing crisis. He's a good boy from a good house. We share interests and some worldviews and in general I'd say we're a good match, but there are still differences that just make everything harder. Like, he won't rent apartment with me because his parents (who have no idea about me till now btw, though he's going to tell them about me soon) would disapprove as we are not married, the apartment we'd be able to rent would be too small for him and it'd make us argue more and would probably cause our breakup (his words). I think he also doesn't want to live with a stranger as we only dated online and started seeing each other irl around two months ago. I dearly love him but all of that, and couple other things like being able to meet up only once a week because my schedule is tight, is just killing me. Also he's a catholic who truly believes in a god and goes to church every sunday. I don't believe in that bullshit and honestly I don't like any religion. Another difference and obstacle! But I think there is no such thing as 100% match with people, so that's fine. Still though, irritating.
So, all of that plus being on autism spectrum and being highly sensitive person. Literally never had meltdowns in my life until I started living in a city (yes, I always lived in rural areas).
I don't even know what's the point of my post anymore. I guess I just felt like venting and needed to say what's inside of me. If you survived till now, please! Let me know!
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