Everything is just so meaningless.

[Is0lated]

I don't really get why I'm here. I have a normal life, yea I can't really properly communicate with people and my family members aren't the best but I'm still ok, I have a fiance and my career is going well yet somehow I'm still here thinking about wether or not I should ctb. Nothing's really bothering me but I am genuinely waiting for my life to take the worst turn so then I can completely let go of my life without a single regret. I am genuinely ruining everything to have a reason to end this meaningless boring life. I had quite a traumatic past but back then I never thought of ctb, I only started having this urge once everything became way better for me. I don't get why we should live and do all of this hard work and go through all of this emotional and physical pain if we're gonna die anyways. No one even knows what's gonna happen after that so why suffer if you can end it all?

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing will always feel so incredibly meaningless to me as well, I could never see a point to enduring this futile existence, it just doesn't appeal to me, existence is just so unnecessary.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

I don't really get why I'm here. I have a normal life, yea I can't really properly communicate with people and my family members aren't the best but I'm still ok, I have a fiance and my career is going well yet somehow I'm still here thinking about wether or not I should ctb. Nothing's really bothering me but I am genuinely waiting for my life to take the worst turn so then I can completely let go of my life without a single regret. I am genuinely ruining everything to have a reason to end this meaningless boring life. I had quite a traumatic past but back then I never thought of ctb, I only started having this urge once everything became way better for me. I don't get why we should live and do all of this hard work and go through all of this emotional and physical pain if we're gonna die anyways. No one even knows what's gonna happen after that so why suffer if you can end it all?

I've had a good life several times now. Self sabotaged it every time just so I could have an excuse to CTB. During the good times all I could think about were the bad times to come. When the bad times come all I think about is CTB. Who the hell knows how our brains got wired this way.

 

[Is0lated]

I've had a good life several times now. Self sabotaged it every time just so I could have an excuse to CTB. During the good times all I could think about were the bad times to come. When the bad times come all I think about is CTB. Who the hell knows how our brains got wired this way.

This is literally how I feel every single day. Can't even enjoy a good moment without feeling like something's about to happen. And the weird thing is, I'd be happier if my life was worse so then I'd have a good reason to ctb