everything is getting worse again

[jvne]

hi i'm jvne/ashley, i'm mentally ill, so basically i was diagnosed with a personality disorder last year and i've been suffering ever since , i tried to ctb multiple times during the year i had a week where i basically tried everyday, things were getting better finally the meds started working and the suicidial thoughts and self harm stopped, but as of recently i broke up with my gf and everything turned back to how it was months ago, i feel suicidal all the time i attempted yesterday, started writing a suicide note for my only irl friend, and i also started self harming again really frequently, also i'm trans and to be fair i hate it, the dysphoria is killing me and, just can't believe i'll ever pass as a woman since i'm fat and also pretty ugly/masculine looking, i might redevelop anorexia since i liked how i was when i was starving i used to like the feeling and i liked my body more, i'm a weirdo and i apologize for being so, don't hate me please.
bye from jvne.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[SVEN]

We may not be able to help much, however I can't imagine any of us "hating" you ... trust me, we all have serious issues of our own.