Venting everything is exhausting

[devil]

Do you ever get to the point where you think about your daily routine and you realize how tired you are of doing
it every damn day. I can't bring myself to enjoy anything anymore, no matter how many times I try to go along
with life. I'm so damn exhausted of talking, moving, pretending, smiling, working, eating. It's getting so damn
old, and it's always the same shit. I don't know how to enjoy life anymore, I feel like I'm just trying to lie to myself
so I will think it's not as bad as I make it seem... but that's a total lie, life will always suck. My motivation is slowly
draining, and I'm running out of ideas. I don't ever see my life getting better, I never thought I even would make it
this far so I have no idea where the hell to go from here. I have no idea how people stay happy all the damn time
and actually enjoy living in this world. It's all a joke, I'm getting really sick of people trying to help me. In the end they will
obviously be disappointed because there is no helping me. I cannot be saved.

 

[woxihuanni]

Nah, those helpful fuckers are not enjoying it much, either. Whenever I see any frantic hobby-seeking, I go 'Here is one miserable soul in denial.'

 

[oopswronglife]

Do you ever get to the point where you think about your daily routine and you realize how tired you are of doing
it every damn day.

Yep. I remember when life was mostly normal with some highs and lows, and just existing wasn't tiring. Now from waking to occasional sleep its always a struggle. I am always tired and feel "bad".

Other people aren't happy all the time. They are either faking it for social benefit, you are catching them in a good moment, or its your perception. Default human state is neutral and nobody is loving it or having an easy go all the time...at the same time most of humanity isn't like us and hating life so it's double edged. I know that doesn't make you feel better, but we have a tendency to think its even WORSE for ourselves since others have it so GREAT.

I will tell you one thing that has helped me free up emotional reserve for living...being authentic. I don't play social games, or smile huge all the time, or care about fashion etc. I am the same whether I am talking online or in front of others or alone here chatting with the cat. Now that doesn't mean be a jerk or shun everyone or ignore their needs...it doesn't mean be disrespectful. I am not going to wear pajamas to a funeral etc. It doesn't mean being truly negative and projecting and justifying being mean or give away your pain to another. It just means not wasting energy on layers and created things. Be you...the real you under the pain and losses...when you have to present yourself always present that. If someone tries to pull you in to fight..or force a layer on you. Walk away. It's not easy to break the habits....and we all fail at it sometimes...but its helpful.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Do you ever get to the point where you think about your daily routine and you realize how tired you are of doing
it every damn day.

It's not that I'm tired of it, it's just that since I had become actively suicidal, I've really let myself go. I mean, what's even the point? So what if all of my teeth fall out, I won't be needing them soon anyway.

 

[Mort]

Being out of work and spending day after day looking for work and knowing no one going to give you a job as i am to old to be bother with. And the job centre ridding your back why have you not got a job yet and having to bite my lip and say nothing. If do say sum thing have to be careful or they stop you money what little you get . Thats another thing you cant just nip out for a day or half a day as most of your money goes on living hand to mouth. So stuck in the house all day every day unless going to job centre. So sum days you go bat shit off the deep end so just getting out of bed in the morning is battle. When you get old know one wants you any more and they won't let you top your self to end it all so what the hell do you do ?????