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ultrasharpy123456

Wizard
Aug 18, 2022
634
What I did, how it happened, what happened to me, how I express myself... it doesn't feel real. It happened but it doesn't feel like it happened but it did. And I keep thinking about it. Why did I get angry? It feels like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I feel like that because I am like that. It becomes a blur, I watch myself doing these things but I'm not in control of my body. I'm just reacting, not responding. And it's like I black out. I'm conscious and aware but it's like I'm not. And it happens.

And it doesn't feel real.

And then I wake up thinking, "What have I done?" And I realize the horrible thing I've done. But I can't control it or sometimes I can. But it happens and I just have no control over it.
 
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SVEN

Enlightened
Apr 3, 2023
1,385
I believe this type of disassociation is often a classic symptom of extreme depression, unfortunately SSRIs didn't help me any with it, so I can only offer my best wishes, and the knowledge that you're not alone in coping with this.
 
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