Venting Everyone wants me to do it.

[failureofahuman]

I can't fucking take it, these judging gazes. Every fucking place I go, I end up humiliated. I finally think I'm safe and I can belong somewhere and be happy but the rug is always swept out from under me. The shame, the fucking shame is stabbing me over and over again. I know deep down that everyone wants me to kill myself. And you people on here, will be nice and tell me that that can't be true, and I'll admit it, there are probably a few people who want me to live. But, the people who do, they don't understand what I'm really like; either I've hidden things or I've shown them and they refuse to see it. I just feel ashamed, so ashamed. I just know I have to do it, I have to make all of the people who are better than me happy. I have to prove myself, cleanse myself of my sins in death. What I want doesn't matter. I have to do it. I have to go through with it, there's no place for me. There's no hope of happiness in this life.

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

I am sorry you deal with such pain. I sincerely hope that you find the peace you deserve.

 

[L'absent]

A warm embrace, dear. Let us always reflect on the vastness of suffering, a complex and unfathomable universe that deserves to be explored with clarity and depth. May the torment ease, and may you find a corner of quiet amidst the chaos of existence.

 

[human909]

I am so sorry you have to go through all that pain, i hope that you find the peace that you've been searching for one day.