Everyone expects me to commit suicide now

[noname223]

Maybe I should Do them their favor.

I could puke.

 

[derpyderpins]

Not to make light of it but my stubborn-ass would do the opposite.

Someone says something about me just seeking attention/not really depressed/not really going to ctb, I'd want to ctb more just to make a point.

Someone tells me to get on with it and I'd be like:

 

[noname223]

I think there are two options for me now with the mental hardware I have. Either I go out take my SN and kill myself with it. Or I repress these thoughts as long as possible. And will have a guilty conscience whenever I die.

I have not even cried because of it. I think I would not survive that.

I always wondered why so much child abuse and bullying happened in my life. But all of this happened prior to this Day. Now I would deserve everything that is coming to me. But before it does not make much sense.

 

[Remna's]

Don't die because others want you to.

Then you'll have lived your entire life at the mercy of other people.

And that sucks.

 

[noname223]

My roommate thinks it is all paranoia. Noone blames me for her death in the clinic.

 

[noname223]

Not guilty the woman killed herself prior to my conversation about suicide with the other patients. 1,5 hours before we had this talk.

I am innocent. Damn

 

[Reflection]

Not guilty the woman killed herself prior to my conversation about suicide with the other patients. 1,5 hours before we had this talk.

I am innocent. Damn

Speaks volumes about this mental health system. They just wanted a scapegoat to blame rather than their own uselessness and incompetence, and apparently these are the places people like should turn to.

 

[noname223]

Speaks volumes about this mental health system. They just wanted a scapegoat to blame rather than their own uselessness and incompetence, and apparently these are the places people like should turn to.

I think the two patients actually low key blamed me. But non of the staff members this was simply my paranoia.