Venting Every time I think about the future, I get so stressed

[ThatStateOfMind]

For some reason, thinking of the future causes me so much stress. I haven't gone to college, but I do want to. Every time I think about what I want to major in or anything like that, I get stressed. Every time I think about the future in general, I get stressed. I'm a very anxious person.

I've even been to a psychiatrist and they wanted to medicate me with Prozac but I was too afraid to continue with treatment. I'm just so afraid of the future and what comes with it. I just feel so much pressure.

Sometimes I even think about what kind of job I'd have after college and I worry that I'll hate it or it'll be boring, no matter the major. If it matters, what I'm considering most is Computer Engineering, which is both software and hardware. I've considered many things but that's what I've considered most.

I don't know the point of this post, I guess just because I don't have anyone to talk to about this, and some people here have more life experience than me.

It's not my only stressor which may be adding onto it. This kinda stuff just stresses me and increases my suicidal ideation, but I do want to stick around for friends and my mom. I'm trying to find a purpose in life and maybe even college studies will help me with that, but it's a hard journey so far

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I think most of us feel overwhelmed when we think of the future. It's kind of bound to be overwhelming if you look at it as one big whole.

But nothing ever happens until it happens. The future doesn't exist until the time comes. In the absence of complete certainty about what the future looks like, an optimistic outlook can be just as warranted as a pessimistic one.

College certainty can be difficult and entails a lot emotional and mental crap beyond just learning the actual material. But in terms of anxiety it's a process that fortunately can be made easier if you think about it the right way. Unlike other things it's a process that consists of discrete steps and it become more manageable if you focus on just completing step that is currently right in front of you. Think of it as a line of dominos. The first domino has to fall before the second one does and so on till the last domino.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I really sympathise with you. I'm a very anxious person as well. Even now- and I'm 43- I'm still worrying about the future! I'm about to start a new job and have exactly those same worries- Will it be boring (again.) Will it be exhausting? Will I hate it? Will I be awful at it?

Just like @LaVieEnRose said though- it kind of just happens when it happens. The one good thing about catastrophizing is that the reality at least most times turns out to be not quite as bad as we pictured it. I guess- bear in mind that some things likely won't work out in life- but that's ok. That's how we learn. You're not going to know you don't like something until you try it. And if you do hate it- try something else. I think the worst thing would be to make you stop trying anything.

Put it this way- I've made plenty of dubious decisions with regards to careers- I've moved hundreds of miles around the country twice to take on a particular job role. Neither of which worked out. I don't regret doing it though. It made sense both times to try. In so doing- I formed good working relations and I continued to work freelance for both companies. Now I'm at a stage where I have to work an unrelated job to stay solvent. It's REALLY troubling and upsetting me but it COULD actually turn out to be a good thing- I just don't know at the moment.

All we can really do is make each decision as it comes along- again- like @LaVieEnRose said- domino by domino. Sure- you can TRY and think about the bigger picture- What do I want to do? Where do I want to end up? Is what I'm doing now going to help me in that? Still- life can throw all sorts of random stuff at us. So much is beyond our control- you'll drive yourself nuts if you worry about all the possible things (that could go wrong.)

Computer Engineering sounds like a good idea to me. I did two BA degrees. I kind of chose wrongly first time- again- not great but it made sense at the time. I imagine there are lots of career opportunities in that. Do you enjoy it?

I really wish you luck. I don't think we can help being anxious really- it's just part of our character. Still- just know that you can only do your best in whatever you do. To an extent, we are all relying on chance/ fate in a way- so- try to relax at a certain point. Once you've made your decision- just kind of focus and go with it. You'll soon know if you need to make another decision because you will realise it might be the wrong one- still- try and give it (and yourself) a chance. Fingers crossed it all works out for you.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I really sympathise with you. I'm a very anxious person as well. Even now- and I'm 43- I'm still worrying about the future! I'm about to start a new job and have exactly those same worries- Will it be boring (again.) Will it be exhausting? Will I hate it? Will I be awful at it?

Just like @LaVieEnRose said though- it kind of just happens when it happens. The one good thing about catastrophizing is that the reality at least most times turns out to be not quite as bad as we pictured it. I guess- bear in mind that some things likely won't work out in life- but that's ok. That's how we learn. You're not going to know you don't like something until you try it. And if you do hate it- try something else. I think the worst thing would be to make you stop trying anything.

Put it this way- I've made plenty of dubious decisions with regards to careers- I've moved hundreds of miles around the country twice to take on a particular job role. Neither of which worked out. I don't regret doing it though. It made sense both times to try. In so doing- I formed good working relations and I continued to work freelance for both companies. Now I'm at a stage where I have to work an unrelated job to stay solvent. It's REALLY troubling and upsetting me but it COULD actually turn out to be a good thing- I just don't know at the moment.

All we can really do is make each decision as it comes along- again- like @LaVieEnRose said- domino by domino. Sure- you can TRY and think about the bigger picture- What do I want to do? Where do I want to end up? Is what I'm doing now going to help me in that? Still- life can throw all sorts of random stuff at us. So much is beyond our control- you'll drive yourself nuts if you worry about all the possible things (that could go wrong.)

Computer Engineering sounds like a good idea to me. I did two BA degrees. I kind of chose wrongly first time- again- not great but it made sense at the time. I imagine there are lots of career opportunities in that. Do you enjoy it?

I really wish you luck. I don't think we can help being anxious really- it's just part of our character. Still- just know that you can only do your best in whatever you do. To an extent, we are all relying on chance/ fate in a way- so- try to relax at a certain point. Once you've made your decision- just kind of focus and go with it. You'll soon know if you need to make another decision because you will realise it might be the wrong one- still- try and give it (and yourself) a chance. Fingers crossed it all works out for you.

I kind of enjoy it. I don't really know, as I haven't tried much around it. I enjoy making things and the inner workings of computers are interesting. I feel like if I start college, I'll have a better idea of what I want to do. I've looked at jobs in my immediate area and there's not many, I'd have to move or do a long commute, which either one I'm okay with, it's a well-paid field. Money isn't everything but if I wind up liking it, it's a nice bonus.

I've always been bad about looking too far into the future and doubting my decisions and I wind up regretting it. If I can find a college, and a program I enjoy, I plan on just full-sending it and applying for federal aid, applying for the college, and just seeing how it goes instead of worrying so much.

I think most of us feel overwhelmed when we think of the future. It's kind of bound to be overwhelming if you look at it as one big whole.

But nothing ever happens until it happens. The future doesn't exist until the time comes. In the absence of complete certainty about what the future looks like, an optimistic outlook can be just as warranted as a pessimistic one.

College certainty can be difficult and entails a lot emotional and mental crap beyond just learning the actual material. But in terms of anxiety it's a process that fortunately can be made easier if you think about it the right way. Unlike other things it's a process that consists of discrete steps and it become more manageable if you focus on just completing step that is currently right in front of you. Think of it as a line of dominos. The first domino has to fall before the second one does and so on till the last domino.

Yeah I've always been prone to that, looking at things as a much larger picture, and pairing that with my anxiety, it's a bad combination.

This may sound dumb, but do you have any tips of how to have a more optimistic outlook, I've never been good at it. And recently, more than ever, I've been trying to change my glass-half-empty perspective to a glass-half-full.

I really do appreciate your feedback, because it is true. If I take it step-by-step, day-by-day, etc. I will wind up where I want to be eventually with much less anxiety I think.

I've even given the medicine thought, I've never tried and I'm scared I'll get SSRI syndrome, even though that's fairly rare, but I plan on trying therapy first. Anyways, thank you, your comments on my recent post seem like a voice of reason to all the chaotic thoughts inside my head lol.

 

[SilentSadness]

When I think of the future it scares me also as there's no limit to the amount of pain we can experience; there's so many people who want to cause us pain as well. I am also stressed most of the time as life is just a constant aching pain that keeps getting worse. There really is only rain and thunder and we are expected to trudge through it until we die of hypothermia. At least you have supportive friends and family, that's about as much as we can hope for in this torture dungeon, I know none would accept my suffering or desire to ctb as valid. I hope that you can get some relief from the stress and anxiety that you feel in the future.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

When I think of the future it scares me also as there's no limit to the amount of pain we can experience; there's so many people who want to cause us pain as well. I am also stressed most of the time as life is just a constant aching pain that keeps getting worse. There really is only rain and thunder and we are expected to trudge through it until we die of hypothermia. At least you have supportive friends and family, that's about as much as we can hope for in this torture dungeon, I know none would accept my suffering or desire to ctb as valid. I hope that you can get some relief from the stress and anxiety that you feel in the future.

Hopefully it will ease for us all. I have hope that I can change my outlook and not CTB. I understand your feelings, so it's not invalid. I hope things get better for you soon.

 

[Nihilistic_Hero]

Sometimes I even think about what kind of job I'd have after college and I worry that I'll hate it or it'll be boring, no matter the major. If it matters, what I'm considering most is Computer Engineering, which is both software and hardware. I've considered many things but that's what I've considered most.

At this point if you enjoy or are interested in the subject go for it, and its okay if you don't like the subject after trying it and changing it to something else. It will be some work, but at the end of the day you are the deciding factor of what you are going to do with your life, and no one can take that from you.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

At this point if you enjoy or are interested in the subject go for it, and it's okay if you don't like the subject after trying it and changing it to something else. It will be some work, but at the end of the day you are the deciding factor of what you are going to do with your life, and no one can take that from you.

This is good to hear. I guess I'm afraid of the commitment, it's the same reason I had issues at the beginning of my relationship I think. I suppose it isn't a permanent commitment but it's scary to me. Thank you for this advice!

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yeah I've always been prone to that, looking at things as a much larger picture, and pairing that with my anxiety, it's a bad combination.


I really do appreciate your feedback, because it is true. If I take it step-by-step, day-by-day, etc. I will wind up where I want to be eventually with much less anxiety I think.

I've even given the medicine thought, I've never tried and I'm scared I'll get SSRI syndrome, even though that's fairly rare, but I plan on trying therapy first. Anyways, thank you, your comments on my recent post seem like a voice of reason to all the chaotic thoughts inside my head lol.

Has there ever been something that didn't turn out to be as bad as you expected? Or have you ever surprised yourself with how well you handled or dealt with something that you felt sure you weren't going to be able to?

You've been managing the breakup rather well I think. Right when it happened you probably doubted you would be able to cope.

So you know you are more capable of handling change and tough situations than it seems.

One medication isn't liable to give you serotonin syndrome. It'd be more of a danger if you were talking multiple medications that acted on serotonin.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Has there ever been something that didn't turn out to be as bad as you expected? Or have you ever surprised yourself with how well you handled or dealt with something that you felt sure you weren't going to be able to?

You've been managing the breakup rather well I think. Right when it happened you probably doubted you would be able to cope.

So you know you are more capable of handling change and tough situations than it seems.

One medication isn't liable to give you serotonin syndrome. It'd be more of a danger if you were talking multiple medications that acted on serotonin.

Yeah especially when my car's motor blew a while back. I didn't know how I'd do but with the help of family, I managed to get it fixed and back on the road and I dealt with it okay, especially after the first few days.

I've been doing alright in regards to the breakup, I know nothing I could do right now would fix anything so I'm just trying to hang out with friends more, and I still try to be a supportive friend to my ex, like I was before we were together.

And that's easing to know, I still don't feel like medication is gonna be my immediate step yet, I still want to try a form of therapy. I need to call a place in my town that my insurance pays for, I've just been procrastinating on it because I hated the intake process last time because opening up in person to someone feels awful.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yeah especially when my car's motor blew a while back. I didn't know how I'd do but with the help of family, I managed to get it fixed and back on the road and I dealt with it okay, especially after the first few days.

I've been doing alright in regards to the breakup, I know nothing I could do right now would fix anything so I'm just trying to hang out with friends more, and I still try to be a supportive friend to my ex, like I was before we were together.

And that's easing to know, I still don't feel like medication is gonna be my immediate step yet, I still want to try a form of therapy. I need to call a place in my town that my insurance pays for, I've just been procrastinating on it because I hated the intake process last time because opening up in person to someone feels awful.

Well, that means you have precedent in your life of you being able to manage crises, both small and large and when you feel anxious about the future you can draw on the knowledge that you were able to deal in the past to reaffirm your faith that you'll be able to do so in the future.

 

[Georg]

Don't stress. You will be dead in the future anyway. Get all the stuff you need for your fav ctb method and then try to improve your life. If you fail, you can say goodbye.

 

[infinitedaydream]

Struggling with this right now too, I have no desire to see myself far into the future because it's so stressful and fills me with so much sadness which is out of my control.

Cannot be optimistic no matter how hard I try. I want to experience excitement for the future but there's nothing there… :/

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Struggling with this right now too, I have no desire to see myself far into the future because it's so stressful and fills me with so much sadness which is out of my control.

Cannot be optimistic no matter how hard I try. I want to experience excitement for the future but there's nothing there… :/

When I wrote this thread, last month, I felt that way. My situation has slightly improved, and I've started focusing on the day to day, more so than the future. I will let future me deal with future problems. Maybe that can help you? Feel free to start a conversation with me if you need someone to talk to, or better yet, start a thread. People here can be great at helping.

 

[Caramelized]

Struggling with this right now too, I have no desire to see myself far into the future because it's so stressful and fills me with so much sadness which is out of my control.

Cannot be optimistic no matter how hard I try. I want to experience excitement for the future but there's nothing there… :/

I feel the exact same way. School, work, family, getting old, dying....It all just seems so dreadful. ( •́＿•̩̥̀ ) It really does feels like there's nothing to be excited for in life...BUT, I do have a "bucket list" where I list the all of the things that I want to do before I die. It's not even about relationship, work, or school stuff at all. Most of it is literally as dumb as wanting to eat seafood mac and cheese, go to an anime convention, stay on an overnight train, or eat at one of Gordon Ramsey's resturaunts lol. I find that writing down things that you wanna do at various stages of your life helps just a tiny bit with giving you something to look forward to. It's no life-altering thing by any means, but it does make me smile when I think of all the things I wrote down and try to come up with new ones. I recommend it, even just for shits and giggles lol.