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thefirstluminary

thefirstluminary

never knows best
Mar 9, 2026
9
I've been going through SaSu megathreads looking for methods to ctb, but every option feels completely out of reach. Hanging requires a rope I can't afford I even accidentally asked a friend about it, which made him suspicious. Jumping is impossible since there are no tall buildings accessible in my town. SN would be perfect, but again, no money. I gave up reading about other methods since they all seemed too complicated and just not possible for me.
I tried the carbon monoxide method using a gas stove in a small room, but couldn't go through with it. The physical sensations were unbearable pounding headache, dizzy like I was about to pass out, heart racing out of my chest, and suffocating shortness of breath. No matter how hard I tried to force myself to stay, I'd always end up leaving. Plus, my family could catch me anytime.

What's messed up is how many people in my country die accidentally from this - entire families just peacefully falling asleep. It's devastating but also seems like such an ideal way out, though I can't handle the actual experience.
Can you guys help me out please while also I wanna hear about some attempts of members here and how it did go
 
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heroingirl

heroingirl

what’s so good about picking up the pieces?
Oct 31, 2025
18
i've tried a few methods. cutting was my first before i knew how bunk it was. didn't do shit but give me more scars. tried overdosing but that's not a good method either. an older user that used to be active really active on here had a really good thread on why it's not a good idea. but he found his way out already. athiestjoe i wanna say? wanted to hang myself but couldn't get past the hard part. kicking the chair. i have SN right now but i don't know where to do it yet. i dont want someone to have to feel the pain of finding me
 
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tonicer

tonicer

Experienced
Nov 13, 2025
259
I'm saving up money to afford a train trip to a city with skyscrapers for jumping once my time comes. I can't right now because my mom is still alive. She's old (almost 80) and sick so i might have to wait 10 or 15 years but i made it to 43 so i can make it for an additional 1/4 of that time i think. I can't hurt her by dying before her. The thought of her having to bury me breaks my heart.
 
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rip_van_winkle

rip_van_winkle

Shine a Light
Apr 13, 2026
3
Going through a similar phase. Cutting didn't work, it became too painful. I did it with a broken porcelain cup like an idiot. Meds didn't work, I'm still thinking of making a random concoction of meds along with CBD, but that feels like that'll just be pain without success as well. I could never try suffocation as I suffer anxiety and panic attacks on the regular so it feels AWFUL even when my airways are perfectly fine. CTBing shouldn't be this hard... I wish I could press a button and just sleep forever.
 
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thefirstluminary

thefirstluminary

never knows best
Mar 9, 2026
9
cutting was my first before
I was about to try cutting to see what's the appeal in it but I chickened out I didn't really wanna go for it as a method of ctb cause before I joined here in this form I was reading a book about suicide it mentioned you have to go through several layers to actually reach the artery lol I couldn't even try to make a slight cut let alone go through several layers
tried overdosing
I thought of overdosing but I never did drugs and have no money to even buy them nor I know dealers to buy from I don't think they will even sell them to me
couldn't get past the hard part. kicking the chair.
isn't that a bad method though being hanged and self suffocated are very different self suffocation is very painful and takes too much to time for person to die that way
I'm saving up money to afford a train trip to a city with skyscrapers for jumping once my time comes. I can't right now because my mom is still alive. She's old (almost 80) and sick so i might have to wait 10 or 15 years but i made it to 43 so i can make it for an additional 1/4 of that time i think. I can't hurt her by dying before her. The thought of her having to bury me breaks my heart.
I feel you I myself have a big family and everyone will get really devastated by me killing myself that's why I'm trying to look for an optimal way that doesn't really make them suspicious
I think your mother really loves you please don't hurt her like that she is 80 and probably went through a lot of stuff in her life and you ending your life will only increase her suffering
 
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EndThatSuffer

EndThatSuffer

Born to be alone đź’”
Apr 21, 2026
20
I think the best method still with fsh.
A rope or something to hang yourself should not be so hard to find, or just save some money for buy it in future, it doesn't cost too much.

Once you stop the blood flow to brain (some seconds) you are done.
(ofc not by suffocating like someone said in another comment, that will be a pain)
 
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thefirstluminary

thefirstluminary

never knows best
Mar 9, 2026
9
I think the best method still with fsh.
A rope or something to hang yourself should not be so hard to find, or just save some money for buy it in future, it doesn't cost too much.

Once you stop the blood flow to brain (some seconds) you are done.
(ofc not by suffocating like someone said in another comment, that will be a pain)
my town is small there in isolated place to actually hang myself I might get caught and I don't wanna risk that there is a great spot in my house where I can do it but my family is always home so not ideal also I'm sorry for asking but what's fsh?
 
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EndThatSuffer

EndThatSuffer

Born to be alone đź’”
Apr 21, 2026
20
my town is small there in isolated place to actually hang myself I might get caught and I don't wanna risk that there is a great spot in my house where I can do it but my family is always home so not ideal also I'm sorry for asking but what's fsh?
Full suspension hang (i think its the best method)

Aniway you can always try to move to more isolated places, like inside woods or some abandoned cabin, or you need just wait when ther is no one at home unfortunatly
 
thefirstluminary

thefirstluminary

never knows best
Mar 9, 2026
9
isolated places, like inside woods or some abandoned cabin,
abandoned cabin is great but I don't think I can find one as for the woods it's quite small and people are there all the time can get caught very easily as for home not really they always let my little brother or my grand mother so it's never empty
I also don't wanna traumatize anyone hanging will break my neck and it's very ugly looking and get my family really suspicious I don't wanna make it look like a suicide
 
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thefirstluminary

thefirstluminary

never knows best
Mar 9, 2026
9
sadly, dying is hard
I know right it's so miserable can't even find a way to end it all in peace sigh
I will just live and see if something clicks up
 
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kouna

kouna

Soon CTB by fsh
Dec 14, 2025
110
I'm saving up money to afford a train trip to a city with skyscrapers for jumping once my time comes. I can't right now because my mom is still alive. She's old (almost 80) and sick so i might have to wait 10 or 15 years but i made it to 43 so i can make it for an additional 1/4 of that time i think. I can't hurt her by dying before her. The thought of her having to bury me breaks my heart.
Man, that's exactly like reading my own situation. I'm 43 yo, mother is close to 80 (78 to be precise) but quite healthy and I wouldn't like to hurt her.
However, my train of thought is totally different. I keep thinking: " She'll probably live a few years more, how the fuck am I going to make it?"
 
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