Venting Every bone in my body hurts and I'm only fucking 19yo

[przeciwwymiotne]

I don't think it's going to get better. I miss 8 months ago when I still had a normal body

 

[jodes2]

I am so sorry you're suffering like this. It's not fair that you're so young with all that I hope it gets better asap

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so horrific how the human body can torture people, and the reality is that there is simply nothing fair about this life. It certainly is dreadful knowing that all that the future holds is more suffering, but I wish you the best.

 

[Someone123]

I don't think it's going to get better. I miss 8 months ago when I still had a normal body

Is this due to a medical condition or is this due to stress? Sharing the cause of this might give people ideas that could help. It coulod be worth it to share any possible cuases to see if people here have ideas- 19 is really young and maybe there is a way to get some improvement.

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

Is this due to a medical condition or is this due to stress? Sharing the cause of this might give people ideas that could help. It coulod be worth it to share any possible cuases to see if people here have ideas- 19 is really young and maybe there is a way to get some improvement.

I'm embarrassed af. First of all I had anorexia which made me lose my period and weakened my bones and joints. Then I had an accident on a treadmill and repeatedly lifted too heavy during working out (irrational thoughts about how I have to do it or I'll die of a heart attack or get fat). Spine injury. The anorexia rush wore off when all of my friends left me because I was acting like a child. My parents denied the spine injury, and I had no one rational thought in my mind so I didn't go to the doctor's cause I was convinced it's going to make me fat (the doctor would tell me to stop working out and I'd get diabetes and die). So I worked out more, until it hurt so much I couldn't move. Then some stuff happened. And I started binge eating. EXTREME BINGE EATING like 30k calories 50k calories. Every day I'd just lay in bed, not able to move like I used to, in pain. And at first I'd just eat whatever there was in the house. Then I moved onto going to stores. Spend my whole high school scholarship on binge eating. It was mostly junk food, lots of sugar, no vitamins no protein. Wanted to ctb from the first day of this binge eating but it dragged onto 3 months (then I slowed down a bit but I still binge eat everyday so it'll be over 6 months now) I gained so much weight, I lost my hair, I still don't have my period.... The binge eating on sugar impacted my joints even more. The lack of movement (although I don't know how tf I was supposed to move) also didn't help, I've no muscle just fat. So yeah. Laying for 3 months straight made my skeleton hurt so much.

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

I'm embarrassed af. First of all I had anorexia which made me lose my period and weakened my bones and joints. Then I had an accident on a treadmill and repeatedly lifted too heavy during working out (irrational thoughts about how I have to do it or I'll die of a heart attack or get fat). Spine injury. The anorexia rush wore off when all of my friends left me because I was acting like a child. My parents denied the spine injury, and I had no one rational thought in my mind so I didn't go to the doctor's cause I was convinced it's going to make me fat (the doctor would tell me to stop working out and I'd get diabetes and die). So I worked out more, until it hurt so much I couldn't move. Then some stuff happened. And I started binge eating. EXTREME BINGE EATING like 30k calories 50k calories. Every day I'd just lay in bed, not able to move like I used to, in pain. And at first I'd just eat whatever there was in the house. Then I moved onto going to stores. Spend my whole high school scholarship on binge eating. It was mostly junk food, lots of sugar, no vitamins no protein. Wanted to ctb from the first day of this binge eating but it dragged onto 3 months (then I slowed down a bit but I still binge eat everyday so it'll be over 6 months now) I gained so much weight, I lost my hair, I still don't have my period.... The binge eating on sugar impacted my joints even more. The lack of movement (although I don't know how tf I was supposed to move) also didn't help, I've no muscle just fat. So yeah. Laying for 3 months straight made my skeleton hurt so much.

God! I can imagine the agony. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. If there are any solutions to these problems, I hope you can find them, afford them and hopefully they work for you. I'm really sorry. The pain.....

 

[Someone123]

You might be able to make some changes that could help, with healthier eating, and then see what damage is left and deal with this. Maybe a counselor could help. One resource that might help is youtube, where there are many videos posted by people who have been through various eating disorders about what they did to overcome this. It's worth a try because some people pack years of experience into maybe a twenty minute talk, or 10 minutes or 60, and then may have ideas that could help. There are talks from young women who have been through this- if you search by "overcoming eating disorders" or similar searches you will find videos from therapists who specialize in this as well as people who have overcome this. I'll post links to some of these videos below- please note that I haven't watched these- I'm going by the initial summary, and I'm sure some are better than others, but I picked ones that looked like they might help.