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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
I has...
 
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Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
Me too, and... Big surprise, it's unrequitted.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
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Painted Bird

...///...
Jul 15, 2019
125
Years and years before this website was created I met a girl on alt.suicide.holiday. We became a couple, lived together for half a year and eventually broke up. We remained friends and still talked online until she ctb. I didn't know she had been planning it and learnt about her death from one of her family members. It was heartbreaking, of course.
 
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Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
I can relate.

I'm used to it though. One of the reasons I want to die is because I know no one will ever love me no matter how hard I try. Nowadays, I just hope to get any level of intimacy just to get my fix of human contact and be able to bear existence for a bit longer.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Years and years before this website was created I met a girl on alt.suicide.holiday. We became a couple, lived together for half a year and eventually broke up. We remained friends and still talked online until she ctb. I didn't know she had been planning it and learnt about her death from one of her family members. It was heartbreaking, of course.
That is gut-wrenching, Painted Bird. How did you make it through? Please advise me, if you would be so kind.
I'm used to it though. One of the reasons I want to die is because I know no one will ever love me no matter how hard I try. Nowadays, I just hope to get any level of intimacy just to get my fix of human contact and be able to bear existence for a bit longer.
Alchemist, why do you SAY that??? You're such a beloved member of this forum! Why would you assume love is not in the cards for you?

On one hand, I relate so hard to what you're saying; you basically describe my "sitch." On the other hand, I was hoping you'd have more hope for us.
 
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Painted Bird

...///...
Jul 15, 2019
125
That is gut-wrenching, Painted Bird. How did you make it through? Please advise me, if you would be so kind.
I got so depressed that I decided to start seeing a psychiatrist but of course that didn't help. At that time I was in the middle of an intensive training course so I was at least able to keep myself busy. It helped a bit to talk to her brother by e-mail for some time. I pretty much just had to endure it and let the time do its job and eventually take the pain away. I'm sorry I don't have any good advice.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
I got so depressed that I decided to start seeing a psychiatrist but of course that didn't help. At that time I was in the middle of an intensive training course so I was at least able to keep myself busy. It helped a bit to talk to her brother by e-mail for some time. I pretty much just had to endure it and let the time do its job and eventually take the pain away. I'm sorry I don't have any good advice.
How in the world were you able to complete your training course? That is incredibly inspiring!
 
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Painted Bird

...///...
Jul 15, 2019
125
How in the world were you able to complete your training course? That is incredibly inspiring!
Thanks, but I just had to, quitting it would make even more mess. It was paid by the government and it had been hard to get accepted. And it was better to keep myself busy with some people around than suffer alone doing nothing.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Thanks, but I just had to, quitting it would make even more mess. It was paid by the government and it had been hard to get accepted. And it was better to keep myself busy with some people around than suffer alone doing nothing.
Respect. I would've (and have) buckled under much less pressure.
 
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