Even when I'm well-fed and in a safe environment, I still want to ctb just because I do, I'm tired and it feels natural to me to 'move on'

[joshe]

I'm still pretty young (late 20s) but I feel like i have done lot with my life already, first to go to college in my immediate family, got to travel and study abroad, got into a good job (which I then quit)

Not that I have unlimited options or am exceedingly wealthy, it's just that I thought of some goals when I was younger and was brave enough to pursue them and it normally worked out.

I even tried all the skydiving, scuba, rock-climbing and things people say to do before you go and it was all 'ok'. A rush of excitement but then you need to keep pressing that dopamine button again and again like anything else.

I don't want a family or another relationship or whatever and I am out of work because of workplace bullying and such that gave me trauma so I am going to be back at home with relatives once my lease runs out.

But as I sit here for another night by myself, I don't really mind it as such, I just feel calm like I have achieved what I wanted in life and am happy to move on or be finished with it.

I've never heard of this point of view being brought up in psychology articles, I don't even know if there's a name for it or a diagnosis or whatever, I just feel contented to ctb, in a neutral way.

 

[Alec]

I think I understand what you mean. I'm in my early twenties and there isn't anything I want to do anymore. There is one thing but it's pretty much impossible and would most likely take years and in this state just going through a day is suffering to me because nothing brings me pleasure or a sense of wanting to be here. But I wanted to talk about the other thing, take that one thing that I want to do out of the picture and there is nothing left that I want in this world. I never wanted a family, no job or a career I can possibly think about can bring me joy or fulfillment and ultimately will be just me wasting away myself. Yes, enjoying physical things can be fun, I like tv shows and movies and music but ultimately it's not gonna be enough to keep me here especially since to survive in this world I'd have to work most of the time with only like 10%(at best) of my time left to watch a movie or read a book because that's pretty much how life works. Besides that there are no physical things that bring me pleasure, I don't even really have a favorite food, sometimes when I'm hungry I enjoy eating something tasty but ultimately it's unfulfilling and quite meaningless in the big picture to me. And since I don't have anything that can bring me fulfillment in this world, what's a point of staying? Physical things this world can provide aren't enough to make me stay, they don't make me feel good enough and don't bring me fulfillment. Mostly, I find fulfillment in myself, and I think that's at least a part of the reason why I want to leave this place, i think I already took from this world everything I needed, there's nothing left here for me worth sticking around for.

 

[nooo2]

I completely agree with this. I'm in a well safe area, my parents still take care of me like I'm a child and I'm so lucky, although I am 18 still, and a fifth- grade dropout so maybe they just feel bad because they failed me. Either way, I don't want to live, I don't want to work a job, I don't want to date anyone or have sex with anyone. I don't even want to sit in my bed or computer chair all day eating on all my favourite snacks. I just want eternal blissfulness.

 

[I screwed up]

I completely identify with your situation.... Although I m much older than u I am in the same circumstances as u are my friend .. And it really sucks .. Hope we ctb soon ..