Even in sleep I cant escape.

[pauly369]

Even in sleep I cannot escape the torment of my existence.
The nightmares come and haunt me, to try and break me.
The people who abused me as a child.
The love of my life who no longer lives.
Their faces haunt me in my dreams.
I try to kill the abusers.
I try and hold my love and tell her that I love her, far more than words could ever express.
Yet they are impossible to behold, to both kill and to love.
Just cruel figments of my broken mind.
And when I awake, it suddenly hits me - that dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach.
For I have escaped one nightmare , only to end up in another.
For that nightmare is my pitiful existence.
The tears fall down my face yet again as I dream of dying.
Of sweet release from this prison of existence.

 

[Jdieiejdjaow]

Have nightmares as well due to complex trauma which sounds like this is what you're suffering from as well.

 

[ventingfrustrations]

Even in my normal dreams I'm still depressed I don't know about anyone else

 

[pauly369]

Have nightmares as well due to complex trauma which sounds like this is what you're suffering from as well.

Yes, Ive been diagnosed with cptsd. Sorry youre going through it too.

 

[Jdieiejdjaow]

Wish I could offer a virtual hug. My browser allows me only to like. I send you a virtual hug through this comment

 

[pauly369]

Wish I could offer a virtual hug. My browser allows me only to like. I send you a virtual hug through this comment

Same here. Im on a chromebook and it wouldnt let me do it.
Thanks for the hug, it means a lot.
Sending you a big hug.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Life is a nightmare, hell. non-existence forever is the opposite of a hellish nightmare called life, the opposite of hell . non-existence forever is the ultimate peace , zero suffering zero pain, zero problems, no bad memories : the only guarantee of all that. Hence non-existence forever is the only perfection.

I long for permanent non-existence the only guarantee of never suffering again , no bad memories . but they constantly tell us non-existence is bad. i'll never believe what they say. Eternal non-existence is the best to me by far

as long as one exists there is a chance for extreme suffering, bad memories, boredom ,suffering pain problems . but never in non-existence . but they tell us life / existence is good and non-existence is bad. i think the oppossite eternal non-existence is the ultimate bliss

 

[pauly369]

Life is a nightmare, hell. non-existence forever is the opposite of a hellish nightmare called life, the opposite of hell . non-existence forever is the ultimate peace , zero suffering zero pain, zero problems, no bad memories : the only thing with all that .

I long for permanent non-existence the only guarantee of never suffering again , no bad memories . but they constantly tell us non-existence is bad. i'll never believe what they say. Eternal non-existence is the best to me by far

as long as one exists there is a chance for extreme suffering, bad memories, boredom ,suffering pain problems . but never in non-existence . but they tell us life / existence is good and non-existence is bad. i think the oppossite eternal non-existence is the ultimate bliss

I feel the same way.
Existence is literally a waking nightmare for me.
The fact that I even exist at all freaks me out.
Its all so weird and full of suffering.
Complete non - existence is definately the best thing that could ever happen to me.