epilepsy, betrayal....

[strigoi]

Hello, I'm new here. And English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes. I'm using translator to write this.

Sorry, it's just a rant... ):

I am a 24-year-old woman diagnosed with epilepsy, I usually have seizures while sleeping, I undergo treatment, but my seizures come down to lack of sleep, even taking all the medication. I've been with severe depression since I was 12 years old, but I never wanted to treat myself, it's been at least 3 years since my grandma passed away, so I decided that I would start treatment, because I thought my boyfriend deserved someone with good mental health. It was then that while I was trying to resist to get along with him, I found out that he was training me with another guy. And it broke me, after 6 years of dating for him to do this to me, right after my grandmother died. I feel like he stabbed me in the chest but missed and now I have to talk to that pain forever.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a child, but I'm a complete coward, I'm afraid of all methods, because they all seemed to suffer and fail.

 

[FuneralCry]

You said that in your post you are using a translator, I think you forgot to translate the post.

But anyway I just think it's the cruel reality of existing here that you cannot trust and rely on other people, it's awful how humans just make things worse and create more suffering. It does sound really tiring what you've been through, and I don't think that those who struggle to ctb are necessarily cowardly, as to me it makes sense fearing ctb in a world where we are denied peaceful and reliable ways to exit. I also fear failing ctb, the thought of such a thing sounds so horrific to me, I hate how suicide is so unnecessarily difficult in this world but I wish you the best.

 

[strigoi]

You said that in your post you are using a translator, I think you forgot to translate the post.

I'm sorry

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I'm sorry you're suffering.

My father was epileptic and still had many grand mal seizures despite being on medication for it. I've seen how hard that can be on people.

 

[strigoi]

I'm sorry you're suffering.Meu pai era epilético e ainda tinha muitas convulsões de grande mal, apesar de estar tomando remédios para isso.

It's such cruel torture