Discussion Ending relationships

[Mum42]

What are your opinions on ending relationships prior to ctb

I have a very supportive partner he knows I get suicidal thoughts but doesn't know my plan .... he tells me to tell the thoughts to F off which isn't the best advice

I'm not doing this to hurt anyone it's my only form of escape the controlling and pain will never end

My partner has 3children I feel if I ended the relationship now it would be easier for everyone to accept

Also distancing myself from friends and family

 

[calendulo]

Well, suicide is an action deeply intimate itself and solitude is good for.
I understand that you are searching a form to escape, suicide is it especially; but you'll never get your closer people, family and good friends, did not worried about you.

if your good friend has three children, you should avoid talking about these issues to him, having childrens is a hard situation.

 

[Lookingforabus]

I went in the other direction. Not to sound full of myself or anything, but the people in my life enjoy my company. May as well give them the gift of more of my company before I go. I don't think cutting off the people closest to you is going to make it any easier on them, as those are easy dots to connect, and might even cause them more pain and guilt for not trying to do something or not seeing the signs or whatever. (In fact, isolating from friends and family and withdrawing from normal activities are a couple big warning signs for an imminent suicide... anyone who knows that and knows your history is going to be very concerned.)

Might make it easier on you, though... but given the low rate of success in suicides generally speaking, I'm not sure blowing up your support network is a good idea. Seems better to keep them close. If you succeed, they'll have some good, recent memories to look back on when you're gone and if you fail, they'll be able to help you get back on your feet.

 

[Mum42]

@Lookingforabus @calendulo thank you both for responding
Both have food for thought
We don't discuss in front of children but he knows when I'm down and asked if I was having suicidal thoughts I said yes
I was thinking if I split the children would never need to know I've died they just think we have split up
But you have got me thinking thank you

 

[epic]

One thing i have decided is to never mention suicidal thoughts to family and friends. When i actually CTB I don't want anyone to feel the horrible guilt of not being able to stop me, even after i informed them.They will live with that trauma for rest of their lives. Its a double edged sword because I feel like talking to my loved ones about it,It will put my mind to rest and relieve lot of stress.
For past many months i too have withdrawn from relationships, but i try to keep a happy face whenever i meet family and friends . I have just reduced the frequency with which i meet them.