Venting End

[timetodie24]

Why was I a stupid and naïve piece of shit. It was a joke to think still my control. They damaged brain too much. Everything already falling apart. Stop being coward and go to highway. It's time or 100s die. I'll lose all brain and complete zombie slave to control system. So I die whilst I still have small bit of me. Sorry if others lost in process but world changes if I don't. And I can't take this anymore, my brain and body aren't my own and can't go on like this.
Why tf did I think I could get 'help' ? Control system is only one with power and I must obey. Pathetic freak listen and die.

 

[sos]

what do you mean by "Stop being coward and go highway"

 

[timetodie24]

what do you mean by "Stop being coward and go highway"

The highway is my ctb location

 

[sos]

The highway is my ctb location

is that a method where you'll be jumping in front of a vehicle, or what's the idea

 

[timetodie24]

is that a method where you'll be jumping in front of a vehicle, or what's the idea

Yes. In front of a big lorry/truck.

 

[GoatHerder]

That's quite a scary way to die.

 

[dolemitedrums]

That's quite a scary way to die.

It is also very inconsiderate to the truck driver, who will be traumatized for life.

 

[timetodie24]

That's quite a scary way to die.

Sort of. It's quick though. I hope it's painful like I deserve.

It is also very inconsiderate to the truck driver, who will be traumatized for life.

Yes it's selfish but as you know , I have explained my reasons before.

 

[dolemitedrums]

Sort of. It's quick though. I hope it's painful like I deserve.

Yes it's selfish but as you know , I have explained my reasons before.

It may not be quick at all. You may just end up paralyzed or in a body cast or with brain damage or with a disfigured face.

If you're not going to try to get help for the psychosis then you should at least find a way to CTB where you aren't permanently damaging somebody else's life in the process.

 

[timetodie24]

It may not be quick at all. You may just end up paralyzed or in a body cast or with brain damage or with a disfigured face.

If you're not going to try to get help for the psychosis then you should at least find a way to CTB where you aren't permanently damaging somebody else's life in the process.

That's risk I take but researched well and highly fatal. I trust that those in control will make sure I died.

I have tried to get help . I started trying back in december when my brain was first infiltrated. No one can help. not psychosis.
I don't choose method, this is only way.
This is end, useless arguing, please

 

[dolemitedrums]

That's risk I take but researched well and highly fatal. I trust that those in control will make sure I died.

I have tried to get help . I started trying back in december when my brain was first infiltrated. No one can help. not psychosis.
I don't choose method, this is only way.
This is end, useless arguing, please

I give up. Try not to hurt anyone else on your way out, either physically or emotionally. Your beliefs are not real. Jumping in front of a truck is absolutely not the only way.

 

[Jarni]

The most likely outcome of all this is that you end up paralyzed and locked in a psychiatric hospital for eternity (due to multiple premeditated murders). Contact the doctors please as everybody have told you here many times. Don't touch innocent people please. You have 0 proof that what you say is true, no one will ever believe you, because you have psychosis caused by brain inflammation (hence your brain fog, the symptom of brain inflammation). Once again: don't touch innocent people, seek psychological help. Don't do the incorrigible, please.

 

[timetodie24]

The most likely outcome of all this is that you end up paralyzed and locked in a psychiatric hospital for eternity (due to multiple premeditated murders). Contact the doctors please as everybody have told you here many times. Don't touch innocent people please. You have 0 proof that what you say is true, no one will ever believe you, because you have psychosis caused by brain inflammation (hence your brain fog, the symptom of brain inflammation). Once again: don't touch innocent people, seek psychological help. Don't do the incorrigible, please.

'Multiple premeditated murders' wtf ? Myself is only 1 I plan to kill .
Brain fog has many causes. But thank you Dr
Jarni for doing brain scan over internet and diagnosing

 

[Jarni]

'Multiple premeditated murders' wtf ? Myself is only 1 I plan to kill .
Brain fog has many causes. But thank you Dr
Jarni for doing brain scan over internet and diagnosing

so make a brain MRI (scan is not a good exam for the brain fog) and we'll see the brain inflammation or your microchips. Same for the legs.

 

[timetodie24]

so make a brain MRI (scan is not a good exam for the brain fog) and we'll see the brain inflammation or your microchips. Same for the legs.

If it's inflamed it's irrelevant. They'll find the microchips on autopsy.

 

[Jarni]

If it's inflamed it's irrelevant. They'll find the microchips on autopsy.

so you want to do nothing to prevent yourself from killing innocent people (with the added false excuse of potential collateral damage etc.). So your false excuses just serve to hide your deep desire to kill people. You are doing absolutely nothing to help the situation. This is extremely bad.

 

[timetodie24]

so you want to do nothing to prevent yourself from killing innocent people (with the added false excuse of potential collateral damage etc.). So your false excuses just serve to hide your deep desire to kill people. You are doing absolutely nothing to help the situation. This is extremely bad.

Ok yes i'm evil . in pain too though. You don't know me , I have done lot to try and reached out to many services but got passed around . I can't just demand mri unless private, i don't have the money and won't help anyway

 

[Forever Sleep]

Am I correct in thinking you have attempted CTB and failed in the past? What were the consequences of that? Did 100's die? I mean- 100's die regardless every day. I'm not sure why you think you are responsible. How is your suicide going to save people? Is it only you being controlled by microchips or, do other people have them too?

I don't doubt that to you, all this feels real. I can't even 100% say that any of the realities we have in our own heads are real. But, I imagine the amount of people who sound very concerned about your perspective might suggest it might be distorted. Isn't it worth investigating that, or do you trust no one? Is everyone in on the conspiracy. But then, what conspiracy? To stop you sacrificing your life plus kill some others to 'save' others?

Honestly, I'm absolutely dreading seeing a news report of some horrific murder suicide on a highway with multiple casualties. I dread to think what those people will go through and their families if you do this. I know it's cheap and mean to use guilt trips. I don't agree with guilting people who want to suicide but when it comes to murder, I think we should dissaude people from that any way we can.

I suppose I'm not entirely sure what your intention is posting here also. Is it just to feel less alone? But (the vast majority) of people here won't condone you hurting or killing others. So, are you hoping someone will stop you on some level? In which case, some part of you must still realise that it could be a terrible thing to do.

 

[ferrie]

Did you try to reach out about the emergency GP appointment?

 

[timetodie24]

Am I correct in thinking you have attempted CTB and failed in the past? What were the consequences of that? Did 100's die? I mean- 100's die regardless every day. I'm not sure why you think you are responsible. How is your suicide going to save people? Is it only you being controlled by microchips or, do other people have them too?

I don't doubt that to you, all this feels real. I can't even 100% say that any of the realities we have in our own heads are real. But, I imagine the amount of people who sound very concerned about your perspective might suggest it might be distorted. Isn't it worth investigating that, or do you trust no one? Is everyone in on the conspiracy. But then, what conspiracy? To stop you sacrificing your life plus kill some others to 'save' others?

Honestly, I'm absolutely dreading seeing a news report of some horrific murder suicide on a highway with multiple casualties. I dread to think what those people will go through and their families if you do this. I know it's cheap and mean to use guilt trips. I don't agree with guilting people who want to suicide but when it comes to murder, I think we should dissaude people from that any way we can.

I suppose I'm not entirely sure what your intention is posting here also. Is it just to feel less alone? But (the vast majority) of people here won't condone you hurting or killing others. So, are you hoping someone will stop you on some level? In which case, some part of you must still realise that it could be a terrible thing to do.

Yes but attempts were before the control started so no consequences. I wasn't fated to die then. But now lived past my expiry date so consequences. It happens to others yes,
It isn't murder, I will do everything I can to prevent other deaths. I will make sure gap in traffic so won't make big pile up. It is dual carriageway (2 lanes) not massive highway and will go outside busy times.

Yes, get things off my chest, feel leas alone. I know it is terrible. I don't want to do it this way but no choice. I have tried very hard for multiple avenues of support and looked for alternatives. Idk how people don't understand multiple services refused me. No not wanting people to stop as no one can. But has helped to offload and to talk things through and understand better with people here.

Did you try to reach out about the emergency GP appointment?

No. I slept through alarm and missed slot to call for. But after sleep on it, I know there's no point. Even last time GP said they stuck and couldn't help, hence MHP referral . So all they'd do chase up which has been done already again yesterday.

 

[ferrie]

No. I slept through alarm and missed slot to call for. But after sleep on it, I know there's no point. Even last time GP said they stuck and couldn't help, hence MHP referral . So all they'd do chase up which has been done already again yesterday.

What if you focused on the pain in your foot & face instead of the voices? Then if they find any microchips, you'll have proof of what's going on, and there may be more that can be done to help you

 

[timetodie24]

What if you focused on the pain in your foot & face instead of the voices? Then if they find any microchips, you'll have proof of what's going on, and there may be more that can be done to help you

My foot not hurting now just feel inside lump when walk . Eye feels bruised but not bruise. Neither of these are urgent appts. I don't have time for investigations. Can't trust dr put more in when testing either.

I'm too done

 

[ferrie]

I won't try to talk you into or out of anything. I can respect if you're at the end of your rope, and you already know my opinion on the situation & the method. I do want to say that there is no shame in backing out or trying to get more help even if it feels futile or like it messes up your timeline. Feeling a lump in your foot could be justification to schedule a GP appointment, even if it's not an emergency one. I do hope that you are able to get help or if not that you are able to go as peacefully as possible

 

[Tesha]

I don't want to do it this way but no choice. I have tried very hard for multiple avenues of support and looked for alternatives.

Hi @timetodie24 I don't disagree that you've tried a lot, but you've not tried everything. I've offered to help you via PMs, in what I feel is a non confrontational way, but you're not accepting that help.

If you go through with this, and someone else gets injured or died, you will be accountable; albeit it will be because of a mental illness. If you don't survive, your family and the family of the victims (because they will be victims - not collateral damage) will be left in limbo with unanswered questions.

You know my messages are open for you - please use it, if you can.

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

why be so hard, you're not helping at all, you're just pushing harder! Al methods will cause "victims". There's allways someone who needs to find you and "clean you up".