Empty and sensitive

[melancholymallory03]

I don't know why I have this feeling of unwavering emptiness I feel so much yet so little , the trauma dumping is becoming to often now and I am sort of isolating myself. I wish I could handle the pressure of the world , the weight of everything. It's just a sad and cruel world. I feel so alone sometimes but I have an entire support network that think they know me very well. I'm tired using same old vices to cure the emptiness annd obliteration although I love music.
One side of me is very happy and hopeful about life but the other side eats me up , thoughts like you'll die anyways. Ctb now so you have control. Or , thoughts like I want to go before my loved ones. Or go to see what lies after could be any better than this. I feel utter confusion all the time and I am becoming depressed again. I am grateful for my privileges but I sure wish I could feel normal sometimes I wish everything would stop all the pain , confusion , suffering , heartbreak and desperation. I do want a way out, whatever that is . Whatever that means.

 

[iloveduster]

I understand and relate to your pain. I hope you find peace soon.

 

[iloverachel]

I understand and can relate with the constant feelings of emptiness and isolation. I am completely isolated from the world. My on interactions with people are online in this lovely forum