Discussion Emptied the dishwasher today and started some laundry. Small victories?

[Amumu]

Way to go :) I've always wondered how people do that. I always end up getting little cuts, but I shave hastily too

It seems that we can avoid that if we do that in the morning, before eating anything and after putting warm water on our faces. That's my experience.
But before I was too lazy to do that in the morning, so I ended up with cuts as well.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Well done for your small victories. To us they feel like huge milestones.
I managed to go and get my medications today and took a shower.

 

[Giraffey]

These small victories are the very best kind of triumphs. When you are truly at rock bottom, the smallest steps can cover the greatest distance. So well done you! This is one of my favourite techniques for 'coping', forget the long-term and just focus on doing a mini task or two for the day. It doesn't feel overwhelming, you get a little boost when you complete it and over time, all these little tasks you get done start to add up and make your 'now' that tiny little bit more tolerable (that's what I find for myself anyway, even if nothing can change long-term).

My little triumph last week was finally finishing tidying and sorting my bedroom (it took nearly two weeks, but I managed it)... A smaller triumph today was finishing recording my podcast (I do a weekly podcast with QAs about neurology and dreams). Tomorrow's mission is to make two phone calls - I'm dreading that one...

 

[ItsOverIsntIt]

A friend of mine texted me today and I replied to her and we had a really nice conversation. It made me feel really happy

 

[BitterlyAlive]

These small victories are the very best kind of triumphs. When you are truly at rock bottom, the smallest steps can cover the greatest distance. So well done you! This is one of my favourite techniques for 'coping', forget the long-term and just focus on doing a mini task or two for the day. It doesn't feel overwhelming, you get a little boost when you complete it and over time, all these little tasks you get done start to add up and make your 'now' that tiny little bit more tolerable (that's what I find for myself anyway, even if nothing can change long-term).

My little triumph last week was finally finishing tidying and sorting my bedroom (it took nearly two weeks, but I managed it)... A smaller triumph today was finishing recording my podcast (I do a weekly podcast with QAs about neurology and dreams). Tomorrow's mission is to make two phone calls - I'm dreading that one...

The podcast sounds pretty cool. And the bedroom thing seems like such a huge task - well done. I have to go to therapy tomorrow and I also have to make a few phone calls I've been putting off. Cheers, mate. You can do it

Well done for your small victories. To us they feel like huge milestones.
I managed to go and get my medications today and took a shower.

Wonderful. :) I'm glad you were able to do thise things. There's nothing like a nice shower, and it's really good that you have your medicine.

A friend of mine texted me today and I replied to her and we had a really nice conversation. It made me feel really happy

That's awesome, mate. If I remember right, you've also been feeling alone? In times like these a good conversation with a friend can make a world of difference. Cheers

It seems that we can avoid that if we do that in the morning, before eating anything and after putting warm water on our faces. That's my experience.
But before I was too lazy to do that in the morning, so I ended up with cuts as well.

Thank you, I'll have to try that when I get around to it.

 

[Giraffey]

The podcast sounds pretty cool. And the bedroom thing seems like such a huge task - well done. I have to go to therapy tomorrow and I also have to make a few phone calls I've been putting off. Cheers, mate. You can do it

Thanks, the science of dreams is a passion of mine and to be honest, it's one of the few opportunities I get to connect with people these days. Best of luck with therapy tomorrow, I hope that you take away something positive from it (make sure to drop a reply on here to let me know). Tell you what, to make sure I don't weasel out of those phone calls, I'll do the same and post up on here once I've done it. Seems like good motivation for me and maybe it might encourage you to succeed in making those calls you need to as well - a mutual mini triumph :)

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Thanks, the science of dreams is a passion of mine and to be honest, it's one of the few opportunities I get to connect with people these days. Best of luck with therapy tomorrow, I hope that you take away something positive from it (make sure to drop a reply on here to let me know). Tell you what, to make sure I don't weasel out of those phone calls, I'll do the same and post up on here once I've done it. Seems like good motivation for me and maybe it might encourage you to succeed in making those calls you need to as well - a mutual mini triumph :)

Sounds like a plan to me! And yes, dreams are fascinating. Love the many theories about them

 

[Giraffey]

Sounds like a plan to me! And yes, dreams are fascinating. Love the many theories about them

Excellente! I'll look forward to seeing how you get on tomorrow (or should that be today? it's 5am here now).

Dreams really are fascinating, I think of them as windows into our subconscious, you can learn a lot from studying them. My current pet project is developing a mapping system so I can create computer situations of my dreams. I've been given a small research grant to eventually explore whether it's something that could be used in a therapy setting too, so one day you could sit down with a therapist and they could work through a visual simulation of your nightmare in virtual reality to relieve the trauma. Fair way to go yet, but that's what I was talking about in my last podcast.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Excellente! I'll look forward to seeing how you get on tomorrow (or should that be today? it's 5am here now).

Dreams really are fascinating, I think of them as windows into our subconscious, you can learn a lot from studying them. My current pet project is developing a mapping system so I can create computer situations of my dreams. I've been given a small research grant to eventually explore whether it's something that could be used in a therapy setting too, so one day you could sit down with a therapist and they could work through a visual simulation of your nightmare in virtual reality to relieve the trauma. Fair way to go yet, but that's what I was talking about in my last podcast.

It'll probably be about 12 hours for me. Just hit midnight here. Now that's a really cool idea. Like EMDR (based on my limited knowledge) but a bit more interactive.

 

[Giraffey]

It'll probably be about 12 hours for me. Just hit midnight here. Now that's a really cool idea. Like EMDR (based on my limited knowledge) but a bit more interactive.

Gotcha, I'll be around then anyway. Absolutely, it's like an evolution of a dream diary. So instead of just saying to the therapist "this monster was chasing me through my house and I ran downstairs but the staircase went on forever and I fell and then it stabbed me..." you can visualise it. It's not quite the same as being able to hook up a wire to your brain and actually record your dreams (although there are experimental techniques being developed to do that involving deep EEG), but from the preliminary work I've done, I think it could help some people. It's kind of a reason to keep pushing on for the time being as well, feeling like I'm making a small difference and that life isn't 100% pointless (even if it's just as painful)... Not that any of that really made sense!

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Gotcha, I'll be around then anyway. Absolutely, it's like an evolution of a dream diary. So instead of just saying to the therapist "this monster was chasing me through my house and I ran downstairs but the staircase went on forever and I fell and then it stabbed me..." you can visualise it. It's not quite the same as being able to hook up a wire to your brain and actually record your dreams (although there are experimental techniques being developed to do that involving deep EEG), but from the preliminary work I've done, I think it could help some people. It's kind of a reason to keep pushing on for the time being as well, feeling like I'm making a small difference and that life isn't 100% pointless (even if it's just as painful)... Not that any of that really made sense!

It can really help the therapist understand, and may even help the individual to watch it after a bit of distance. That's an awesome idea. And no worries, what you said made sense. Life can still be like pulling teeth even with a purpose.

 

[Giraffey]

It can really help the therapist understand, and may even help the individual to watch it after a bit of distance. That's an awesome idea. And no worries, what you said made sense. Life can still be like pulling teeth even with a purpose.

I doubt it will ever be a mainstream therapy, but it will have specific uses. With some modifications, you can even use it to help kids who suffer awful nightmares (as I did when I was a child), although of course, children's dreams can range in complexity depending on their age. Very young children don't dream in a visual sense, you can't really recreate that in a VR environment. Anyway, I'm so sorry, listen to me rambling on and hijacking your thread, sorry!

You're right there too, life can definitely be like pulling teeth and I think it's worse when it's without a purpose as you're kind of deprived of that motivation to pull you through difficult patches. When you're struggling, there's nothing tangible to latch onto and think "I'm going to fight and keep going because of blah blah". It's a bit of an emotional short circuit I suppose. Hopefully, something positive emerges for you later today though, even if it's just something small that makes your life a bit more tolerable right now.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I doubt it will ever be a mainstream therapy, but it will have specific uses. With some modifications, you can even use it to help kids who suffer awful nightmares (as I did when I was a child), although of course, children's dreams can range in complexity depending on their age. Very young children don't dream in a visual sense, you can't really recreate that in a VR environment. Anyway, I'm so sorry, listen to me rambling on and hijacking your thread, sorry!

You're right there too, life can definitely be like pulling teeth and I think it's worse when it's without a purpose as you're kind of deprived of that motivation to pull you through difficult patches. When you're struggling, there's nothing tangible to latch onto and think "I'm going to fight and keep going because of blah blah". It's a bit of an emotional short circuit I suppose. Hopefully, something positive emerges for you later today though, even if it's just something small that makes your life a bit more tolerable right now.

I really don't mind, this is a cool topic. It does complicate things a bit for children, what you said reminded me of something I read on the cptsd subreddit. It seems like quite a few people would have nightmares, but as you pointed out, they weren't visual nightmares. Purely emotional, they would relive the emotions they felt during the trauma. I wonder how that would be handled in therapy. Even if you could recreate the emotions, assuming it spread to everyone in the room, it would cause issues for the therapist. Kinda difficult to stay detached if you're having to literally feel the client's emotions. But this is going on about a completely hypothetical thing. Lmao.

It'll be interesting to see how today goes. I'm really not interested in therapy but I'm scared that this therapist won't take me seriously either. I've had it happen again and again this year. Two invalidated my suicidality/suicide attempt, one couldn't seriously handle my anger (at myself), and another just seemed to want to gossip about my parents. :|

 

[Giraffey]

I really don't mind, this is a cool topic. It does complicate things a bit for children, what you said reminded me of something I read on the cptsd subreddit. It seems like quite a few people would have nightmares, but as you pointed out, they weren't visual nightmares. Purely emotional, they would relive the emotions they felt during the trauma. I wonder how that would be handled in therapy. Even if you could recreate the emotions, assuming it spread to everyone in the room, it would cause issues for the therapist. Kinda difficult to stay detached if you're having to literally feel the client's emotions. But this is going on about a completely hypothetical thing. Lmao.

It'll be interesting to see how today goes. I'm really not interested in therapy but I'm scared that this therapist won't take me seriously either. I've had it happen again and again this year. Two invalidated my suicidality/suicide attempt, one couldn't seriously handle my anger (at myself), and another just seemed to want to gossip about my parents. :|

That reminds me of night terrors which often happen during the NREM phase of sleep, you wake up; sometimes with a scream; feeling all of the terrifying emotion of the dream but being completely unable to recall any of the details. If you're a good therapist then you can have your client recall those emotions and physical sensations without being overcome by them yourself. It's important to make an emotional connection, but as the professional you still have to be able to guide your client through the trauma - you get trained in how to find that balance, although I think it's something a lot of therapists struggle with (they become too far removed and come across like they don't care).

Speaking of which, those therapists you've had, sound as though they're in the wrong profession! I have this really great book (written for therapists) that includes some examples of how a good/bad therapist handles a client who is sceptical about the therapists plan for treatment. The bad one makes it the client's fault for not listening and implies as if it's the client's own fault that they're ill; the good therapist listens to the client's concerns and let's their thoughts and input help to shape the plan. There are a bunch of examples like that and every time I read about therapists invalidating feelings, being impatient or not taking things seriously, my blood boils and I want to grab my book and throw it through the screen at said bad therapists!

I hope your day went better than before anyway!

 

[tidalwxves]

It's chilly today too, which just makes it so tempting to go back to bed. But at least I've managed to do these tasks.

Have you guys had any recent small victories?

Congrats! This is a wonderful attitude and perspective, its nice to see that here@

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Have you guys had any recent small victories?

I had a few yesterday. My bathroom needed to be cleaned again, so I found the motivation to actually do it, and I took the dog for a walk before I went to work while I had a little bit of time.

Also, I wanted to say congratulations on your victories.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I had a few yesterday. My bathroom needed to be cleaned again, so I found the motivation to actually do it, and I took the dog for a walk before I went to work while I had a little bit of time.

Also, I wanted to say congratulations on your victories.
View attachment 45319

Hey, that's awesome. I should clean my bathroom but all I can bring myself to do is take the weeks-old floss off my counter.

Thanks for the graphic. It's really cute and funny.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I can only do one responsible thing per day.
Most days that's going to work. If it's a weekday and I've gone to work, don't ask or expect me to do anything responsible. I've already filled my quota for that day.
Weekends are laundry, dishes, cleaning... chore stuff. But I take my time about it. It can take me literally all weekend to clean the bathroom. Clear the sink so I can clean it, play Skyrim for 3 hours. Clean sink, play Skyrim for 3 hours. Clean toilet bowl, play Fallout for 3 hours. And now it's bedtime, I'll finish it tomorrow, after I've wasted the morning playing Skyrim for 3 hours. Etc, etc...

 

[Beforeigo]

It's been two months since my suicide attempt... no one is proud of me or has even remembered but I'm proud... kinda

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I can only do one responsible thing per day.
Most days that's going to work. If it's a weekday and I've gone to work, don't ask or expect me to do anything responsible. I've already filled my quota for that day.
Weekends are laundry, dishes, cleaning... chore stuff. But I take my time about it. It can take me literally all weekend to clean the bathroom. Clear the sink so I can clean it, play Skyrim for 3 hours. Clean sink, play Skyrim for 3 hours. Clean toilet bowl, play Fallout for 3 hours. And now it's bedtime, I'll finish it tomorrow, after I've wasted the morning playing Skyrim for 3 hours. Etc, etc...

I've noticed that's pretty much me on an average day. Today I went to get my required flu shot for work, and since then I've been in bed. Feel awful because I still have my phone calls to make and a basic chore to do, but I either feel too apathetic or just feel exhausted. I wish I could focus enough to play video games but it's like my brain is literally grinding when I try. Does it help you recharge?

It's been two months since my suicide attempt... no one is proud of me or has even remembered but I'm proud... kinda

I'm glad you're here, mate. I have a really hard time remembering people, so I'm sorry for missing you. But it's good that you're at least on here and trying to interact with others. I hope you're feeling okay today

 

[Good4Nothing]

No, it doesn't help me recharge.
It's my escape from my self and this reality that I despise.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

No, it doesn't help me recharge.
It's my escape from my self and this reality that I despise.

That's perfectly fair. I don't care if it can be "unhealthy", everyone needs an escape. Life really sucks.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

I mowed the lawn and vacuumed today! As much as I love fall but I'm not looking forward to raking leaves.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I mowed the lawn and vacuumed today! As much as I love fall but I'm not looking forward to raking leaves.

Awesome, that's gotta feel great to get those things done. Freshly mowed lawns and freshly cleaned floors are really nice

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Figured I may as well keep this going. Today I feel so lethargic and foggy. But I managed to
• call HR and a PHP person (got their voicemails but I called at least)
• Fill the cat's water bowl
• signed an insurance form

Yeah, uh. Not much. Been stuck in bed for most of the day, haven't eaten anything yet. Just feel really sick. All things considering though, I guess this is okay.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Figured I may as well keep this going. Today I feel so lethargic and foggy. But I managed to
• call HR and a PHP person (got their voicemails but I called at least)
• Fill the cat's water bowl
• signed an insurance form

Yeah, uh. Not much. Been stuck in bed for most of the day, haven't eaten anything yet. Just feel really sick. All things considering though, I guess this is okay.

Sounds like a rough day

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Sounds like a rough day

It is another rough day, to be honest

 

[whywere]

YES! Got to sleep in and got some sleep for once. My pain pills are working today pretty good,, ya!!! Also I have my global family here to help and cheer me up, and I love it and love all of you!!!! SS is THE BEST thing to EVER happen to/for me period and even better is all of you. I am so blessed!!!!! Walter

 

[Deleted member 1465]

It is another rough day, to be honest

Yes, I can see. I'm sorry you are suffering so.
I've had many rough days in the past too, all joined together.

Unrelated: your avatar always makes me smile

 

[BitterlyAlive]

YES! Got to sleep in and got some sleep for once. My pain pills are working today pretty good,, ya!!! Also I have my global family here to help and cheer me up, and I love it and love all of you!!!! SS is THE BEST thing to EVER happen to/for me period and even better is all of you. I am so blessed!!!!! Walter

Sleep can make such a big difference, and it's awesome that your pain meds are working.

Yes, I can see. I'm sorry you are suffering so.
I've had many rough days in the past too, all joined together.

Unrelated: your avatar always makes me smile

Just a part of life, for better or for worse. Thank you - the sea otter is a cute little guy